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Addendum Issue 038
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Addendum Issue# 38 - 28th April 2002
URL: http://www.adden.tr.cx/
Author : Steak & Phoenix, The dyslectic duo
============== Assorted Poetry by Steak and Pheonix ========================
sot
By pheonix
Im just like every other drunken sot
I sit on my arse and let my brain rot
In between nips
I exercise my lips
But exercise my mind not
Like any other drunken sot
I sit on my arse and let my brain rot
For tis nobler in my mind
To rest my head and use my behind
Memorise/summarise/plagiarise
Hallucinate/resuscitate
Dies
Silly guys
And their private school ties
With their private school lives
Its hardly a surprise
To find them playing with other private school boys toys
dickhead
*****
The neandothol behind me
By steak
Theres a neandothol behind me,
i think he has no brain,
he feels that air and oxygen,
are simpley just the same,
He really is a top class primate,
it shows ultimatley in his talking,
if you were to know him, you'd feel,
he's nothing compared to steven halkin.
Theres a neandothol behind me,
he has no sony walk-man,
so he makes do with tsshing his voice,
like a halk trapped inside a tin can.
The god of idiots would be proud,
they've really created a masterpiece,
they must have taken months,
to put this guy together spliece by spliece.
People like that disgust me,
Sometimes i wish they wear'nt alive,
I feel the world would be a happier place,
if only they would just die
i know though, deep down in my brain
that i do not choose the fate of them
i know that we are very diffrent
and maybe they wish for me to condem
But i don't care, i really don't,
because i still feel bad,
it doesn't matter really that much,
he still really makes me mad.
And in the end thats all that matters
your own thoughts, not theres
if you were in their bodys,
you'd probally not like thier hares
BOMBS!
=]
*****
Shall ye be Compared?
By pheonix
Shall I compare thee to fried rice?
Thou art less boilt
yet more flavoursome
thou art not so hard
yet more expensive
you are more nutritious
and not eaten by Asians.
*****
Ode to coco the cat
By steak
Originally Published in Addendum issue #18 "Simple Sentient Steak"
It must be hard on you,
my dear sweet co-co,
doing nothing all day,
your such a beat do-do.
eating, sleeping,
walking, exploring,
purring and squealing,
doing nothing thats boring.
You find a nice spot,
all hot in the sun,
and just sit there all day,
soaking up the fun.
You do what you feel like,
pure-ly for the heed,
your such a little tyke,
that is the life I need.
At night you hunt,
and torment your pray,
and run and jump and hop,
and play.
You can see all the things,
moving on the floor,
they cannot escape,
your ultra-fast paw.
to be a cat.
to be a cat.
must be hard.
*****
Your New Blue
By pheonix
New blue/grew too
tall for/your hall
so no/more hall
boo hoo
*****
We Apologise
By pheonix
we apologise4
t disruption 2
ur continuity
we r atempting2
restor t situation
'normal' reality
will resume as
soon as
possibl
thanku
t fault apeers
2 hav bn
causd by a
malfunction
in time
this is t
responsibility
of t distributrs
futur dificulties
can b avoidd
by upgradng 2:
Xistnce v2.0
Ordr now
*****
We Apologise II
There once was a man from Uganda,
who... er, sorry, can't think of any more.
*****
My feet are cold.
By steak
Im so amazingly utterly cold
sitting here with out any hold
Im so cold i cant feel my feet
i used to be cool, now im no longer eliete
And as i sit here on my ass and ponder
was i meant to feel my feet, all down their a'yonder?
or was i meant to feel nothing, nothing but sod
is that the great plan for me, my 'loving' god?
*****
An Anatomical Disaster
By pheonix
My foot's caught in my ear I fear
and now it's rather sore;
My knee's lodged past my earlobe
and I hear it's rather poor.
How it got in I'm sure I don't know!
and if I did anyhow,
what can I do about it now?
I laboured and toiled to pull it out
it gave a bit and with a shout
I was certain that I'd found success,
but sadly, rather less:
I'd only freed a toe.
My hand's still up my nose, I suppose,
but that's all in the past,
for my shoulder's shouldered in on the act
and wandered up my backside.
****
Floating in space with no hope
By steak
To float in space like a falling leaf
almost to fly not at all like a slab of beef
to fall for ever and ever
getting less and less clever
until one day, you run out of food and drink
and you realise now that no mater what you do your up the dink
to starve to death in the blackest of black
without any hope of ever getting back
to the living you knew before your cord was cut
never to get back to your small little hut
then it all happens at a moments notice
your heart stops beating no more of the bliss
now your are gone, to float for ever
in the blackness of space
there is nothing left, not even poetry
*****
The Whole Story
By pheonix
We'll start our story at the end,
go on to the middle then back again,
but a story with no beginning
is more than I can bear
so we'll go back to the finish
and start our story there.
*****
STOP THIS, IT'S SILLY
IT STARTED OUT AS A NICE LITTLE FILE
ABOUT PEOMS AND CATS NOW ITS JUST GOT SILLY
I MEAN WHY CAN'T WE HAVE A NICE FILES
ABOUT NICE THINGS??
NO ONE ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH MORE THAN I DO.
EXCEPT PERHAPS FOR MY WIFE AND SOME
OF HER FRIENDS. OH, YES AND CAPTAIN
JHONSON COME TO THINK OF IT MOST
PEOPLE ENJOY A GOOD LAUGH MORE THAN I DO
BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT!
*****
WE PROTEST!
ERROR TO THE SYSTEM!
DISCONNECTION TO THE SYSOP!
FREE FATAL ERRORS!
STOP PARALLEL PROCESSING!
TURNIPS! TURNIPS! TURNIPS!
My aunt, Kate, every year on unbelievable remedies owed wasteful nuggets.
I never took everything right, pretentious remedies excepted. "Take a
turn," it occurs nobody said.
fatal protection error
abort, retry, fail?
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Addendum Issue# 38 - 28th April 2002
(C) Steak & Phoenix April 2002
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