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Angstmonster Special Release 01

eZine's profile picture
Published in 
Angstmonster
 · 25 Apr 2019

  

The following is a special release from angstmonster. It's intentions are to
amuse and keep all the fans (all less than 20 of you) all excited about the next
release of angstmonster. For some reason, the theme of supporting the tfile and
ezine scene run rampart through these pages, so you know it'll be fun to have
some propaganda flowing in this piece.

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
¡a n g s t m o n s t e r¡
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

ANGSTMONSTER SPECIAL RELEASE #1:
Directors cut of our page in the Current Textfile Scene's zine

The whole pretense of this little diddy was that being linked on
http://scene.textfiles.com angstmonster is considered a member of the current
textfile scene and what not. They are currently finishing up this project in
which all the tfile groups that participated have a page in a print zine that
will be sent to all the authors and then copy and distributed by them. My
problem was fitting things onto one page. So if you ever see a copy of the
result it'll look a lot different. Printing a tfile onto one page isn't as fun
as having the unlimited spool of .txt Go ahead and try it sometime, you'll see!

Anyways, it's basically just a couple of extra rules in the ways of the
angstmonster. So enjoy!


*************************************************************************
* __ __ *
* _____ ____ ____ ______/ |_____ ____ ___ ______/ |___________ *
* \__ \/ \ / __ \/ ___\ __\ \ _ \/ \/ ___\ __/__ \_ __ \ *
* / __ \_ | \ /_/ >\__ \| | Y Y \<_> ) | \__ \| |\ ___/| | \/ *
* (____ /_| /___ /____ >|__|__|_| /___/__| /___ >|__| \__ \|__| *
* \/ \/____/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ *
* angstmonster *
*************************************************************************

¡written and edited (poorly) by gir¡

/\ ¡ /\
\ o o / "Beware my wiggle arms of DOOM!"
\ o /
/\/\/| |\/\/\
/ |A| \ o o o "We fear your wiggle arms of DOOM o "WTF!?" o
\ /_\ / '|' '|' '|' and bow down before you! Master! '|' '|'
^ ^ ^ guide us into oblivion!!!!" ^ ^

Some days, do you feel life is like the picture you see above you? A bunch of
your friends are off bowing down and pledging allegiance to some crazy monster
with wiggly arms and a cape? Does that ever piss you off? Sometimes I wish I
was a wiggly armed monster with a cape so that your friends might bow down
before me in some sort of retro trend following thing. It'd be cool and if you
hurry up and act now, I'd let you be a part of it too. In fact, if you really
want to get the jump on all your friends and be ready to join this movement,
I'll tell you what you can do.

First off, don't follow me. I don't have wiggle arms or a cape. I just have a
lot of old computers and a need to create (as well as entertain) Don't get made
at me for not having wiggle arms or a cape. Feel free to send me a cape but I'm
pretty happy without wiggle arms. (Ok, so I'm lying! I really DO want wiggle
arms...)

Second, learn to make cookies. When all else fails, cookies are the best way to
make up for not having wiggle arms and/or a cape. (especially when they are
homemade chocolate chip cookies) Making cookies will prepare you for the
future...

Third, keep listening to new music, reading cool books, and finding off the wall
movies. If the cycle of finding new art in and off the world ceases, who's
going to share it? Maybe the motivation behind teaching us how to share in
kindergarten were off, but it doesn't mean sharing isn't a good idea. (In fact
it's a hecka great idea!) If you don't think you can create (or just feel to
lazy) at least pass along the cool things you've found. Recommending stuff to
complete strangers is really fun.

Fourth, if you've shared other's art with people, start sharing your own. The
idea that you create for yourself is all well and good but remember how you are
supposed to be sharing other people's art? (according to rule number three)
Well, step that up a notch. Chances are if you are reading this zine right now
it's because you really appreciate art and if you really appreciate art, chances
are you make your own. Don't be shy, SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD!!!

Fifth, (and finally) no matter what anyone tells you, no matter how much they
think you suck, just remember you're creating something and sharing it with the
world. And if that fails to appease them, remember these words of wisdom...

"I don't have to explain my art to you."
___ ___
\ \_/ /
| |
| O |
/ o_o \
\/|| ||\/
"" ""

¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿

What you have just read was a step into the unknown spontaneous and poorly
edited thoughts for sharing collectively known as "Angstmonster." All thoughts
on the matter can be sent to <gir@angstmonster.org> or you can just visit the
site http://www.angstmonster.org/txt/ and see what you think. (But I won't
promise any content to anyone.) Submissions of all sorts are welcome!
Everything from prose and poetry to rants and opinions, creative text art,
recipes for yummy food, reviews of stuff, etc.

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