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Blisters on my Butt 03
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b l i s t e r s - o n - m y - b u t t
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issue 003: "i love everything!" by belial
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contact: http://www.alt164.com/bomb or bomb@alt164.com
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i like to think of the world as a big basket of fruit. all the
people, all the religions, all the politics, all the hunger, all the
dead, all the wars, all the sex, all the bad 'zines, all the
people who take irc channels over, all the people who still hex-edit
renegade, all the porn, all the-- you get the point. one day, i
would like to take that fruit and SMASH IT AGAINST THE SIDEWALK AND
STEP ALL OVER AND STOMP ON IT AND CRUSH THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF IT!
THEN I WANT TO SCOOP ALL THAT SHIT UP AND WIPE IT ALL OVER SOME
STUPID FUCK'S FACE. I WANT TO WATCH THEM AS THEY CHOKE ON THE SCUM OF
HUMANITY-- I WANT TO SEE THEIR FUCKING FACES CONTORT AS THE JUICES
OF THIS DECAYING PISSHOLE RUN DOWN THEIR CHIN.
i'll say to this poor slob, "HEY SHITHEAD, YOU LIKE THAT?! IT'S ALL
YOUR FAULT, YOU SHITTY FUCK! IT'S YOUR FAULT THE WORLD IS LIKE THIS
AND I'M GOING TO RIP OUT YOUR FUCKING GUTS FOR IT!"
if he even thinks about talking and saying something like, "christ,
what the hell did they put in your coffee," i'll kick him in the balls
so hard it'll really hurt!
that reminds me. i was walking in the park the other day and i
came across this field with the most beautiful flowers. all the
colors. it was so beautiful. i felt so free. i started dancing
and singing and YOU KNOW WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED?
SOME SHITFACED LITTLE PRICK SHOT ME IN THE KNEE!
GOD I HATE THIS PLACE!
i asked the little boy, "hey, little boy, why did you just shoot
me in the knee?"
DO YOU KNOW what he said? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA?
HE SAID, "mister, i don't know about you, but i want to make a
difference. if making a difference means shooting tree-hugger fucks
like you in the knee then so be it! but i'm not going to stand by
and watch as this world turns to shit because of you like to prance
around with the flowers and sing folk songs."
"what?!"
he looked at me funny. "you heard me."
i slapped him.
he looked at me funny again. "you even hit like a fairy."
being the better man, i just walked away... and followed him
home and slaughtered his family and put the little piss' head
on a pike.
what a crazy day that was!
the world's a strange place. think i'll run for president.
vote for me...
OR I'LL FUCKING YOU DEAD YOU KILL FUCK!
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(c) jesus was a wanker press, 1998, biznatch.
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