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Damned Fucking Shit Issue 17
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Damned Fucking Shit
Edited by Access Denied
Issue #17
Title: 50 Things To Do With Those Nasty
Holiday Leftovers
Date: 1/8/94
By: Blurr
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50 things to do with those nasty holiday leftovers..
by Blurr [ATOMiC]
- Eat them..
- Sell them to a local High School for mystery-meat day..
- Patch cement..
- Put them in your 5¬ drive.. (What else do you need it for?!)
- Attatch a FILE_ID.DIZ to them and upload for lots of creditz..
- Throw in some Forum source code and develop a new BBS software..
- Place them in the Ponderosa buffet bar (to improve taste)..
- Attatch a stolen font and advertise for your board..
- Send them to SiN for speedy cracking..
- Jam them in your teacher's muffler..
- Give them to president Clinton so he will inhale them..
- Let them rot.. inhale the fumes.. and go on a shooting rampage..
- Compare the color scheme to that of a default PC-Board..
- Abuse them so they run away on their own..
- Put it in the back of Jeffrey Dahmer's fridge to accompany that eyeball
they never scraped out..
- Feed them to blind people and say it's fine cuisine..
- Sell them to CBS for next year's prime time line-up..
- Sell them to FOX so they can base a new hit show on them..
- Attatch a wig and date them..
- Greet them in your next 200 line ANSi..
- Use them in your nifty macros..
- Submit them to DFS.. who knows.. they might just be in the next mag!
- Freeze-dry them for the next earthquake..
- Put them in your food dehydrator and make some form of jerky..
- Give them a phone and let them be a Psychic Friend..
- Use them when you run out of Soylent Green..
- Give them to UCLA as a second place trophy <go badgers!>
- Give them to a police officer next time you get pulled over.. he may just
let you off a bit easier!..
- Let them be your Co-Sysop..
- Let Michael Jackson baby-sit them..
- Give them to Michael Jackson's lawyer so he doesn't sue me for writing that
last use for holiday leftovers..
- Use them as covers for your expansion slots when you lose them..
- Taunt them..
- Donate them to Goodwill..
- Use them as a lifesaving device..
- Form a /<-Rad group and distribute them around your area code..
- Use them as seat covers..
- Feed them to your pets and watch them as they grow extra appendages..
- Put them out of their misery..
- Eat them.. digest them.. shit them.. and then inspect them..
- Give them to your girlfriend because you forgot it was her birthday..
- Feed them to Oprah..
- Make an ashtray..
- Develop a revolutionary new compression system with them.. (remember .OWS?)
- Send them to US Robotics for an upgrade to next year's leftovers..
- Throw them onto a dog track and watch them fight over it..
- Assassinate Barney (the dinosaur) with them..
- Replace controversial evidence in your next phreaking trial with them..
- Convert it to ANSi for your new logon screen..
- love it.. touch it.. call it George..
_____________________________________________________________________________
This file is for information purposes only.. it is not recommended that
any of you actually KEEP your holiday leftovers.. to those i have offended,
life sucks.. get a helmet..
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Compiled by: (( Blurr )) - [ATOMiC]
Sysop - Blurred Vision
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