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Felney Issue 03
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|ISSUE 3 MAGAZINE DECEMBER 2004|
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||****INTRO****||
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Welcome to the third issue! XD. Once again i have missed
a few months worth of them, but there is an excuse this
time, the computer keeps crashing and losing all my
stuff because i have to format it, i lost the entire
website, though have now recovered the files. I'm starting
to write this issue on Christmas Day, after the 6th format
in about 2 months. Hopefully my new Antivirus and use of
my USB Pen drive to create a "Rescue disk" will fix that,
so i can replace the file that goes missing rather than
having to format and start again. Hopefully XD. Anyway
as i was saying, because i'm making this issue on
christmas day, it will be very short, oh well, enjoy XD
-DEATHBRINEGR (as it is typed on straightacting.com)
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CONTENTS
1-In the news
1.1-Blunkett
1.2-ID Cards
1.3-Foxhunting
2-Sexuality
2.2-Swiped story
3-Fun Files
3.1-How to totally FUCK your friends PC
4-Chat
5-Readers (lack of) Letters
6-Cool Lyrics
6.1-Band Aid
7-Links
8-Wrap-up
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________ ________
|daily v sport |
|truth |========|
|========|========|
|===IN THE NEWS===|
|========|========|
|========|========|
|________|________|
BLUNKETT:
Not really too much to comment on XD, other than saying
this has been a pretty boring scandal hasnt it? i mean
come on..
Papers: Did you have an affair with that woman
Blunkett: Yes
Papers: Ok, here is £20,000
BORING!. Then there was something else about him getting
a free bus pass or something and he was sacked, unfortunatley
his mad plan for ID cards didnt go with him
ID CARDS:
Police: Hey, sez 'ere you are a bloke
Transexual: Yeah, i couldnt change my birth certificate
Police: You really are then, you poof!, time we taught your
kind a lesson they will never forget
*Insert tape-recorded kicking to death here*
It WILL happen in 2020, mark my words
FOX HUNTING:
I dont really give a shit about the foxes, but Sabs tend to
be cute and hunters tend to be not, and hunters kill sabs, so
they must be 'dealt with' with such brutality the worst SS
officer would lose his lunch if he saw it. Now there's a
videogame concept!
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/ ____/
/ /___
\____ \EXUALITY
____/ /..yer laws do not apply to me!
/______/
Because of the computer fuckups, the sexy story i was
writing got lost, and i wasnt paticularly inspired
to write another XD. So anyway, i stole one from a
mates Livejournal instead, hehe. Visit it yourself at:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/narcissus_scorn/
Cheers Adrian..XD
I awoke to the sound of the shower Saturday morning,
I got up and went to ask him if he was nearly finished,
I stopped to look how amazing his delicate body looked
wet in the steamy room, he did not hear me come in so I
opened the shower door and greeted him with my kisses on
his left shoulder My darling is up earlier than I today,
is everything ok? I asked,
Yes of course, I was going to make you breakfast to be
honest he laughed, how incredibly sweet I thought, watching
him wash his hair.
I soaped my hands up still standing behind him I rubbed his
chest, stomach and naval bar, he turned and kissed my lips
which make me want him instantly.
I caressed his cock which stiffened to my touch, our smooth
wet skin against each other excited me more than I expected.
He kissed my neck and collar bones to drive me mad, working
down my chest to my eager cock, putting just the end in his
mouth and looking up at me with those piercing green eyes,
I gasped as he devoured me with his hot mouth.
My aren't we the naughty boy today I said trying to play it
cool, he stood up smiling and whispered I want you here
fuck
me, Principe I blushed a little at his forwardness, stroking
his hard cock and kissing his delicious coral lips You kill me
you know, you dirty little boy I said biting his shoulder to
muffle my moan as he sped up caressing my cock, I turned him
around kissing his shoulder blades loving how they move beneath
his warm skin.
I entered him excruciatingly slow teasing myself more than
him, I had his cock in my right hand and the other on the wall,
I fucked him, my mind in total bliss hearing his loud bursts of
excitement as he orgasmed made me come with force seconds later,
I brushed the wet hair from his face, he turned and kissed me
tenderly, my God, I have an angel here in my arms
.. forgive me
for my corruption.
(Aplogies for how well this is written, i promise to bring
you something really shit next time XD)
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|_ FUN FILES____________///:::==-
/________/
HOW TO TOTALLY FUCK YOUR FRIEND'S COMPUTER!
Install Windows XP on it..better than any virus!
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Rich bloke from top gear: Well some people wear Ferrari
clothes, like that bloke over there
Bloke: *Laughs*
R: What do you actually drive?
Bloke: Er, a Volkswagen Jetta
Everyone: *Laughs*
R: Honestly, how many Ferrari drivers go around with
Volkswagen Jetta t-shirts on?
-Top Gear
(Note: the VW Jetta was not a 'big' car in britian, though
there was a car with that name a long time ago, it looks to
me like the also-disliked Polo Saloon from the same age, with
square lights. Later versions of the Jetta resembled a smaller
Passat, with Square lights, and this was sold in the UK as
the VW Bora, which also didnt sell that well, though somebody
at work has one XD)
Clarkson: Now, if you had chosen the "Clockwork orange" Probe
as our car to restore, you would have bankrupted Europes
richest broadcasting company!, as it is you chose the Mini, so
we'll pocket the £40 we made from phone calls and restore it
ourselves one weekend
-"Restoration Ripoff" comes to its kind-of predictable close
(Note: The "Probe" was an ultra-rare sports car from the 60's
of which like 9 where made, one being featured in the movie of
"A Clockwork Orange", the Mini was not just any old Mini, but
the Cooper which Paddy Hopkirk drove to WRC glory in the 1960's,
destroying heavy, sluggish monstrosities like the Ford
Zephyr with ease)
Bloke: Wanna buy an Audi?
Me: What, like my dad's one that broke down and caused a 5-mile
tailback that was on the news?
-Er, the pub one night
Bloke: Have a merry christmas
Other bloke: I'm drinking for five, i should do
Me: But will you remember it?
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There havent been any, but the logo for this section
is cool XD. When i eventually put these up on textfiles.com
they might be read by more than one person XD. as always
send stuff to:
m_deathbringer@hotmail.com
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___/ / _______
/ __________________/ \
| ||=================================|| /
| ||=================================||/
| THIS MONTHS COOL SONG LYRICS
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\_______\
DO THEY KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS-BAND AID
It's Christmas time
There's no need to be afraid
At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at Christmas time
But say a prayer
Pray for the other ones
At Christmas time it's hard, but when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there
Are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you
And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
(Oooh) Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow
Do they know it's Christmas time at all
(Here's to you) raise a glass for everyone
(Here's to them) underneath that burning sun
Do they know it's Christmas time at all
Feed the world, feed the world, feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time again
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time again
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time again
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time again
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time again
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___|____|_LINKS_|____|___
\______/ \______/
http://www.create-games.com
I have recently gotten back into creating games using
things like Multimedia Fusion and The Games Factory
(modern versions of the more-famous Klik n play), anyway,
this site is the hub for all of that stuff on the
internet. It even has its own in-jokes and community
spirit, though not as much as Doomworld, obviously XD
http://www.doomworld.com
Doomworld!, the home of doom on the internet, here you
can check out the latest .wad files, and get your
questions answered, along with other stuff
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Well, this issue has been pretty crap..XD, hopefully, if
i have no more computer fuckups, or my idea to fix them
without formatting actually works, the next issue should
be much better. Have a good 2005 anyway, with or without
(probably without) Felney stuff XD
Contact info:
E-mail and MSN: m_deathbringer@hotmail.com
AIM: crazyanarkist
Felney webpage: http://felneycomic.keenspace.com
Also i will try and upload it to textfiles.com
Disclaimer:
Building items from the "garden shed" section of the
mag is dangerous ..er, that section wasnt even in
this issue!
//
O==o:::::::::::::::::::> Deathbringer
\\
