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Fat Nipples Issue 2
Fat Nipples #2
Fall 1993
Editor: Chris
Co-editor: Sean
Contributors: Darren, Freddie, Natosha, Christa, Joe, Marc, Marisa, Chris M.,
Manu
Contributions welcome and greatly appreciated. All contributors receive a
free zine. Wow! Also, send in your hardcore product for review. You'll
receive a free zine. Wanna trade? Send em in!
Fat Nipples is a fanzine created in Trenton, NJ. It's original format was
paper, but I make this electronic edition available so that I can reach more
people with less paper. If you read and enjoy this zine, please send $1 and
2 stamps to:
Fat Nipples Fat Nipples phone line:
c/o Chris (609)890-0995
P.O. Box 2554 e-mail:
Trenton, NJ 08690 INTERNET:chriscon@njcc.wisdom.bubble.org
This will get you our undying gratitude and a paper copy of this zine. The
"all-paper" edition includes graphics, layouts and ads that could not be in-
cluded here. If you do not wish to get the paper copy, consider it a
"registration fee". You can also write with your questions, comments and
submissions.
Feel free to circulate this to your friends, BBS's and anyone who will take
it. The whole point is to CIRCULATE.
Issue #1 is sold out in paper. If enough of you write(yeah right) we'll
print some more. For an electronic copy, e-mail me.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This zine is written by different people, with different opinions, on
different topics. The ideas presented are presented to you so that you can
choose what to agree w/ and what to tear out and find an appropriate place
for. Keep this in mind. Don't pass judgement on our zine as a whole because
of one thing you read and disagreed w/. Don't believe everything you read.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
letterslettersletterslettersletterslettersletterslettersletterslettersletters
Dearest Chris,
I experienced a revelation today at work and have been very moved.
I work at Six Flags Photo in Great Adventure...you probably already know
what this is leading to. I got your zine from Jenny and read the whole thing
yesterday, and I loved it. More on that later. So tonight we were "closing"
and I was talking to this really cool guy Sean -- not fake or anything,
which is rare to come across -- and I knew he writes for a zine so I thought
I'd tell him about yours...it being so though provoking and all. I say, "I
just got this great zine in the mail; I bet you'd love it. It's called 'Fat
Nipples' and..." Light dawns on his face and he says, "Did you say nipple-
fat?" (excuse my paraphrasing!) "That's the one I write for!" Wow, I was
blown away. Oh God, I sound like such a blonde. Working nights is not good
for the brain cells at all. I was just so surprised by the irony. Here I'd
been planning to tell him all about it, and he WRITES it. Actually, I get
the impression YOU write it for the most part. [That's because I do, or at
least did - Chris] But that's beside the point. I was kind of disappointed
I wouldn't be able to tell him about all the articles. BUT, I am ironically
amused/pleased/affected-in-a-positive-way to learn that it really is a small
world after all.
This is irrelevant but I suggest you read The Fountainhead by Ayn
Rand. Even deeper than Animal Farm and all that. It was sooooooooooo excel-
lent. It gave me a nice healthy fearful wariness of people with too much
"power." And it stresses doing your own thing. I think you would appreciate
it. In all my years of literacy(from way back with the Laura Ingalls "Little
House" books and C.S. Lewis's "Chronicles of Narnia" to whatever I decide to
read this week) it was the very very very best so far.
Who am i kidding? I'm sure you have read it. [In fact, I have not
- Chris]
Your articles really made me think; especially the fear deal with
Rodney King. That made my hair stand on end because I think it's true. And
that's so...so...pitiful. Makes me cry for humanity. Jenny and Natosha (my
co-staff writers) really liked the one on the Davidians. I think I will
write to CBS or some corporate media source and ask for a listing of the laws
David Koresh's followers really did break. [Be sure to send me a copy
- Chris] The media really does suck. Half of any scandal -- no, 75% -- is
the media's fault. The media makes a bigger deal over Chelsea's curly hair
than over Clinton's infidelity. By the way, even though I know Bush was not
too hot, I personally think Clinton is the worst thing that could have hap-
pened to us. I hope Bob Dole runs.
You have inspired us, the creators of Generation. We are going to
have longer issues, and we will dig deeper into our souls. I wrote two
articles this morning; I'm so proud. One was about communism/democracy, and
why NEITHER has worked so far. Not quite so long as all of yours though. I
see your schwartz is just as big as mine. Luke, I am your father. As you
wish! I'll be back!
-Andromache(Generation)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
6/30/93
Dearest Chris,
I'm sorry that this is typed. It's not very personal that way, but
I'm way too lazy to write anything. It takes far too long, but anyways...
I'm going to tell you jest what I think of your beautiful zine. I'm going
to try to have it make sense, but this is very hard for me to do. First of
all, I think it's GREAT. I'm not saying that to kiss your ass either. It
really was. I could relate to, or maybe just understand, many of your views.
I have a hard time finding people whose ideas make any sense to me, if they
have any ideas at all. People just don't think these days, either that or
they just don't care. It's very unfortunate that many people "our age" don't
take the time to think about what's going on in the world around them, and if
they do they don't say much about it. I wonder what this world will be like
when we are forty or fifty years old. I often wonder if the human race will
last that long without all of us killing each other. At the rate the world
is going, not very long at All. Despite the efforts made by many of us to
understand or at least accept those different than ourselves, many people
don't even wish to try to work things out. Racism, sexism and all those
other nasty "isms" will probably last forever. No matter how hard we try,
all of us have our own little prejudices that we just can't help. The most
we can do is just "GIVE PEOPLE A CHANCE." As long as there has been civili-
zation there have been wars. Before that even, just not as organized. I
doubt that they can all together be avoided. Simply another example of
people refusing to accept different views and ideas, just because they are
different. The root of most evil is DIFFERENCE! As I said before, different
color, religion, sex, or even social status causes prejudice. Apparently, it
can't be helped. It makes me sad. No one can get along. IF EVERYONE LOOKED
LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, AND BELIEVED THE SAME THINGS, AND DID THE SAME THINGS,
AND LIKED THE SAME THINGS, WE'D HAVE NO PROBLEMS. But I think one of the
great things about being human is that we have the "CHOICE" of whether or not
to be different. To a certain extent - as far as attitude - and in America.
OKay, that made no sense, but we all should have the right to be how we want
to be without people knocking it. In the same token, we should be happy with
who we are. It's our choice in this country. We can be who we wanna be.
But things like race, color, and sex cannot be helped. We should not be
judged be things we cannot help. Now that I've confused the fuck out of
myself, and probably you too, I'd like to congratulate you for writing such
a fucking great zine. As I stated before, it's comforting to know that other
people think about these things, and often worry the shit out of themselves
in the process. I often do. It's a hard life having a fully functioning
brain. People think I'm nuts because I have one. I just think too much and
make myself nuts doing it. BEsides that- I'M PLAIN OLE WEIRD. Thank you
for such a lovely publication, and continue writing it as a benefit to THINK-
ING TEENAGE AMERICA. Those of us who worry about the future of the planet
earth and it's inhabitants must stick together, because most of us are plain
old bizarre. I think that it's fun. We seem to be much more comfortable
with ourselves than the posers are, but I won't lie and say that I'm HAPPY.
Well, I originally meant to talk about your zine, but I ended up babbling on
about the "world today" instead. I'm sorry. Just thanks for the great zine,
okay? It made me think. Thinking is good for you contrary to popular be-
lief. I'll shut up now.
-Aleksia Hansen
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Chris's babble
_____________________________________________________________________________
i saw the bosstones last night and they were good. i only have
a few complaints:
1) horrible mix
2) it was hot
3) i had a headache
4) i always thought it would be a godsend--a show without a pit.
instead everybody jumped up and down and there was no room to dance. it
sucked.
get off the stage Andrew.
_____________________________________________________________________________
i cannot think in a rational manner. my mind has lost its order. my voice
has lost its rage. i cannot support myself. i am weak. i have fallen.
_____________________________________________________________________________
there's not much going on in the world right now, but here are some things
i think warrant discussion:
1) homosexuals in the military--if your dumb enough to want to die for your
country it shouldn't matter who you fuck. you're really fucking yourself.
the "don't ask, don't tell" proposal is a cop-out. homosexuals should be
allowed the same freedom to speak of their orientation as hets. certainly,
there will be the same restrictions on sexual behavior as there is on hets,
so what's everyone so worried about?
2) nazis are still assholes.
3) this whole bombing iraq thing seems fishy. maybe not. there's very lit-
tle by way of explanation or proof of iraq's connection to the terrorists.
maybe i'm just too suspicious.
4) my girlfriend thinks i'm scum becuase i don't condemn those guys from
new york who got arrested for planning terrorism. i guess i am a pinko left-
ist liberal fascist. yes, some guy tried to tell me that since hitler was a
vegetarian animal rights activist that all liberals are fascist dictators
prone to violence. i could easily disprove this with a venn diagram. shall
i?
5) people are saying that bombing iraq is a proportionate reaction to their
plotting to kill bush. now, come on. a couple guys who might have been con-
nected to the iraqi government plotted, did not succeed, only plotted, to
kill an ex-president of the united states, and a not very distinguished one
at that. we in turn bombed their capital and killed twelve civilians. this
is proportionate? and some people think that this isn't enough.
6) arresting a muslim cleric proves a lot. on screen i see Senator D'Ama-
to's face gloating. he was targeted to be killed and now he doesn't care
who is charged as long as he is avenged. rational.
_____________________________________________________________________________
I started thinking about a magazine yesterday and I realized that
in order for a mainstream magazine to break even, they have to, not only
cover production costs, but pay all the people who worked on it. Weird.
This got me thinking about Fat Nipples. If I paid myself minimum wage as an
editor, I would deserve two or three hundred dollars out of this zine.
That's not including compensation for all the contributors(freelancers, we
pro's call them) who submitted work. If I paid twenty dollars for an artic-
le(chump-change in the world of corporate magazines. I think they pay twenty
dollars a word or something) that would be another two hundred dollars. If
I did this, I would have to charge $4.5 just to break even! That is fucked
up. Nonprofit I stay.
_____________________________________________________________________________
for some reason, everything here is coming out jagged, fragmentary. last
ish i was in a word mood. maybe i'll get in one later. all my thoughts are
coming out in pieces. i can't think in full sentences. this one is going
to take a long time at this rate--at least three times as long. i want to
double the pages, but i'm going at half the rate. there's nothing to talk
about. last time i was inspired by the goings on around me. this time the
world is asleep. nothing is happening at all. my emotions are hibernating.
i can't find them and i can't summon the will power to care. its weird,
because right now, almost everything is going right, but i feel so wrong.
it feels very false and it could fall apart at any second. it is falling
apart i think. what has happened? where are my convictions? where is my
muse?
_____________________________________________________________________________
You only hurt yourself. That's not true. You're killing us with
your ignorance. "We have the right to not live in poverty." Yes, you do.
Do you have the right to suck the blood from our scene? Look at how you
trivialize us. Look at how you misrepresent us. You create a mainstream
cartoon of reality. You are hurting yourselves, but that's not all. You
are destroying yourselves. We loved you. We were devoted. Are all those
kids who bought your CD when they saw you on MTV devoted? No. They'll drop
you dead when the next trend rolls along. You've slit your own wrist, now
watch yourself bleed to death. They don't want you because they like you.
They want to exploit your profit potential while they can. They want to
bleed you dead so that they have control again. Your dying and I don't care
anymore. It's your own fault. Die.
_____________________________________________________________________________
FATHERLESS
a boy walks down the street
all the way to the park
to watch the big kids play
and have fun. Oblivious to the
waste around him. carries w/him something
his mother gave him today
a toy of some sort
when he arrives at his destination
his amazement with his new toy
quickly fades as
those around him twist and jump
on their wooden toys.
these older ones see him sitting
there watching. he smiles and can
just about hear the words "wanna try"
more boys enter his vision, a lot more
One boy, the biggest, matches
his smile and shouts
"gimme that fuck'n thing"
the young boy sits there w/the
look of betrayal in his eyes
as the first barrage of fists
come crashing down to meet his fragile
skull. he retreats into a ball
keeping his toy in the center, between his knees
"no, it's mine," he cries.
more puches, some kicks now and then
he looks up, a blur, a loud CRACK
warm blood enters into his mouthe were his
fromt teeth once held their ground
the sound of sirens enter his throbbing
ears. The boys scatter, taking a last few shots
"fuck it, let's go"
when the tall men arrive
he stares at his
clenched fist
a familiar # flashes across the shiny
exterior of his toy
"it's mine."
-Sean
=============================================================================
Let me ask you a question. Who do drug laws protect? Laws are in-
stituted to protect the population, correct? Think about it for a minute and
give me an answer.
Do drug laws exist to protect the general public? No. If you need
proof, go to a city and take a look around. Drug dealers force everybody to
live in fear. Drug-dealing gangs make the streets safe for nobody. These
are the consequences of the United States' ban on drugs. If drugs were le-
gal, would there be drug dealers in the streets? Maybe, but very few. Drug
dealers exist only to provide a supply for those that demand. If drugs were
commonly available at drug stores, why would you buy them on the street? If
drug laws protect the general public, than why do they forbid the distribu-
tion of clean needles, a valuable step in fighting AIDS?
Do drug laws exist to protect us from possible drug use? Perhaps,
but is this a necessary protection? Is the government instituted to protect
us from ourselves? No, it protects us from others. We have a vast drug edu-
cation program in our country. There are few drug users who do not know the
risks. They are taking their chances, just as smokers are.
Who do they protect? They protect the elite. They protect the go-
vernment. Do you know why marijuana was outlawed in the first place? The
cotton, paper and textile industries did not want hemp, a superior product,
to take over their market. Marijuana's intoxicating effect was a convenient
by-product which won the support of abolitionists. Drug laws make sure that
the government will be the only importer of drugs into the country.
Now, let's imagine a world where drug laws no longer exist. The
spread of AIDS severely declines with the onset of nationwide clean needle
programs. Thousands of chemotherapy patients find comfort in the anti-nau-
seant effects of marijuana. Recycled paper becomes obsolete as hemp paper,
a more efficient and less environmentally taxing alternative, comes into
wide use, ending the jobs versus trees debate once and for all. Hemp is used
in everything from clothes to rope. Deaths from overdose become a thing of
the past as clean, safe, federally regulated drugs become available. Mil-
lions of dollars that were spent in the so-called drug war are saved--narco-
tics divisions are no longer needed and crime rates drop markedly. The penal
system feels a giant relief, as do cramped and over-crowded jails, as cases
for drug possession and distribution stop burdening their schedules and the
disappearance of mandatory drug sentences keeps thousands out of jail.
There are many people who would disagree with me. They would postu-
late that drugs kill people. They would tell me that drugs cause nothing but
harm and misery. They say that legalizing drugs would create a nation of
doped-up, apathetic fools because everyone would be addicted. They, of
course, would be full of shit.
I should clarify--what I am suggesting is not a total lift on the
ban of drugs. What I am suggesting is that drugs that cause little harm and
are not physically addictive--marijuana, LSD--be made available. Clean need-
les would also be legally available. Drugs such as heroin might be made
available by a doctor's prescription. The point of all this is legal drugs
would not kill people. Not any more than cigarettes and alcohol kill people.
Marijuana, for example, carries the same risks as smoking--lung cancer, em-
physema--as well as some others--a few dead brain cells, impotence, genetic
damage. These risks are widely documented and would, of course, be included
in a Surgeon General's warning.
Drugs do not kill people. People kill people. It is entirely pos-
sible for a person to use drugs through-out their lifetime and not be faced
with addiction, death or overdose. Deaths from drugs are caused by two
things--bad drugs and weak-willed people who succumb to addiction and let
themselves waste away. In a legalized nation, bad drugs would be as common
as bad Tylenol and weak-willed people are not the governments concern.
Now, I want to ask you another question. If drugs must be outlawed
because of their addictive and detrimental effects, why do drug laws not ap-
ply to alcohol and cigarettes? Is it because alcohol and cigarettes are
significantly less hazardous, or because their respective industries have
large and active lobbies in Washington? I think you'll find the latter to
be truth.
If you disagree with me, I respect your opinion, but you must remain
consistent. If drugs are legal, all drugs are legal. If drugs are illegal,
all drugs are illegal. Make your choice.
-Chris
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Some Poetry
INTENSE
The words don't come to mind easily
My feelings for you are too much to explain
You're the only one who fills me up
Help for me to escape the pain.
When this world rejects me
You comfort my tattered soul
You pick me up and brush me off
You make me feel so whole
Images of you falshing through my mind
I need you to continue on
I can't live or love without you
I can't be left behind.
-Freddie
ALTERNATIVE
"Stand up straight
follow directions and you'll be fine."
well...well...
fine this muthafucker.
i've sat and listened long enough
i'm sick of being oppressed
i'm sick of watching others be oppressed
my feelings can only be expressed in rage
i've learned all i need to know
about what society stands for,
and i'm sick of it!...
hmm...
¡think i'll get a nose ring...
and a tattoo
yeah, that'll show em!
?
-Sean
FEEL
Depression, so common yet
So concealed
I feel the pain
The memories stuck in my mind
Why does love fade away?
Everything withers and dies
Except the pain insede myself
Sometimes I'm so close to the edge
I'm so close to killing myself
Sometimes I think to muself
Who are my true friends
Who is there for me
Who will walk away from me in the end
If I could see your face as my cold body lies
I wide your love so deep inside
Will you remember
That I'm here for you
In which you can confide?
I want you to be the one.
The one in which the love will always remain
You the only one who keeps me from goin' insane!
-Freddie
one last try
and i know i could have
got it right
it's too late now
too late to make it better
like it once was
like it could have been
-Sean
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
reviewsreviewsreviewsreviewsreviewsreviewsreviewsreviewsreviewsreviewsreviews
RECORDS
Shed - advanced demo cassette thingy - mmm. Yummy hardcore folk. Mellow
and then pumped and then mellow again. It's a trip. Highlighted by Jon's
lovely Morrisseyish vocal stylings. Definitely a band to check out. (Get
in touch with the band: Shed, c/o Jon Scondotta, 2049 East 29 St., Brooklyn,
NY 11229)
Sawhorse - Skinflutes 7" - Their first seven inch was cool and so is this
one. Fast, punkish hardcore. ($3, Lookout! Records, P.O. Box 1000, Layton-
ville, CA 95454)
Iceburn - Hephaestus LP - I don't know how to describe this, but here's a
clue--4 songs, 78 minutes. It seems very free-form and jammy. They cer-
tainly have changed. Bearable one song at a time, but a full listen will
have you pulling your hair out. Pick up the first LP, Firon, instead. ($10,
Revelation Records, P.O. Box 5232, Huntington Beach, CA 92615-6232)
Amenity - This Is Our Struggle 7" - A long dead band that I got into way too
late. The song "This Is Our Struggle" is a collection of quotes from Martin
Luther King, Jr., followed by a remix, with samples from his speeches. A
great 7" from a great band. ($3, Vinyl Communications, P.O. Box 8623, Chula
Vista, CA 92012)
Heroin - All About Heroin 7" - an uneven effort. Some songs suffer from ap-
parently intentional underproduction, but others, particularly "Headcold"
and "Indecision" shine on. Tons of stuff to check out from this band. ($3,
Vinyl Communications, above)
Porno for Pyros CD - My major label indulgence. Groovy, mellow, funky and
wailing. Yikes. Lyrics about arbitrary thoughts and nonstories. Steal it
if you can. ($17.95 plus tax from corporate CD sellers everywhere)
Spitboy 7" - These are some angry feminists and, what can I say, angry
feminists make good music. Though the lyrical topics are somewhat limited
(rape, rape and... oh yes, rape) this band rocks hard and rages with the
best of 'em. ($3, Lookout! Records, above)
Premonition - 7 song demo - Inspiring "social, political, emotional thought-
core". Really cool and really cheap. Eat these guys up quick. ($2, Dan
Houston, P.O. Box 85319, University of South Carolina, Columbia, SC 29225-
0112)
One Day Away 7" - This band is shamelessly hamhanded politicore, but they
pull it off. They wear their integrity like a badge. Buy it just because
it so damn cheap. ($1 or 4 stamps, P.O. Box 2184, Madison, WI 53701-2184)
Iconoclast - Groundlessness of Belief 7" - Another excellent 7" from one of
my favorite bands. There is some experimentation here--the melodic "I Like
You Less Than Apple Pie" and the psychodelicish "In Adam's Fall". A band
with talent and integrity to spare. ($2.5, Ebullition, P.O. Box 680, Goleta,
CA 93116)
Born Against/Universal Order of Armegeddon - split 7" - An outstanding split
from two outstanding bands. Born Against takes a slight left turn here, with
a more punkish\chaotic style. I've never heard U.O.A., but look forward to
future releases. A funny clown cover. Get. ($3, Gravity, P.O. Box 17052,
San Diego, CA 92177)
Heroin - 12" EP - Another purposely uneven effort from a frustrating band.
This isn't bad, but nothing stands out as particularly good. Not worth pay-
ing a LP prices for a 7" worth of material. ($6, Gravity, above)
V/A - God's Chosen People LP - A strong compilation w/Merel, Avail, Native
Nod, Rorschach, Born Against and others. Standouts include Rorschach cover-
ing King Crimson's "21st Century Schizoid Man", Iconoclast and Greyhouse.
($6, Old Glory Records, 5 White Oak Dr., Colts Neck, NJ 07722)
The Semi-Beings - An Emotional Buffet demo - hmmm. Delicate, acoustic, al-
ternative kind of music. I don't dig, but maybe you will. (see elsewhere)
Bouncing Souls - The Green Ball Crew CD - overall, a disappointment. Com-
pared to what these guys accomplish live, this is nothing. I can't wait for
their next release, out soon. (try $10, Chunksaah, P.O. Box 374, New Bruns-
wick, NJ 08903)
Social Disorder - demo - yummy hardcore, with tinges of metal and old school.
Just a sampling of what's to come on their upcoming LP. (send $1 to Fat Nip-
ples for a copy)
ZINES
Yawp! #2 - How can I put this down? Johanna has my girlfriend's feet! Kind
of hard to understand if your not from her area. Major drawback: one-sided
printing. This is cutesy and sort of trivial, but check it out anyway.
(Only three stamps, Yawp!, c/o Johanna Novales, 76 Madison St., Massapequa,
NY 11758-5433)
Generation - You probably won't understand most of this since it was created
as an "alternative" school newspaper. Thusly, most of the material is about
happenings at these girl's school. Why not write to them and find out what
its all about? That's what I'm doing. (Generation, c/o Natosha, 11 Adams
Ave., Browns Mills, NJ 08015)
Deed #1 - This is the best of the bunch, so far. An art zine cooked up by a
bunch of talented kids. Includes drawings, poetry, stories, pictures, comic
strips and an ongoing comic series(!). Inspired our new, fat format. Just
get it. ($2, Mimi Deed, 425 S. Chickasaw Tr. #155, Orlando, FL 32825)
Sandbox mid-spring '93 - A cute little mini-zine. I paid two bucks and got
an awesome 7" with it, but it says fifty cents on the cover. Not much in it,
but its cool, thoughtful sort of stuff. I think this is kind of an issue 1/2
and the next one will be full size. Why don't you write and find out.
(Sandbox Fanzine, P.O. Box 974, Newtown, PA 18940)
Trustkill #1 - interesting sxe zine. Interviews w/Iconoclast, Another Wall,
Ashes and Lincoln. Mostly pictures, but good pictures and interesting lay-
out. A definite anti-religious slant. Buy it. ($2, Josh Grabelle, 23 Farm
Edge Lane, Tinton Falls, NJ 07724)
Tetanus Shot #1 - exceedingly thin, but also cheap, so what are you whining
about? Cereal reviews, vegetarianism, a short story and "Why I'm So Depres-
sed". Loads of potential. Worth getting because Fat Nipples is Heatherrrr's
favorite zine. ($1 and a stamp, Heather Eichacker, 71 Mohican Ave., Ronkon-
koma, NY 11779)
Radio Riot #26 - Consistantly cool and always cheap. This one is about Mat's
experiances on the road with Lifetime and the Bouncing Souls. When its free,
why the hell wouldn't you get it? (Self Addressed Stamped Envelope to Radio
Riot, 19 Union St., New Brunswick, NJ 08901)
BOOKS
Queer - William Burroughs - Homosexual withdrawing junky becomes fixated on
a disinterested swinger. It leaves me undecided. It wasn't bad, but it
seems pointless, unfocused. I think that is the intended effect though.
Beyond Good and Evil - Friedrich Nietzche - Philosophy that makes sense. It
has its outdated moments, but Nietzche makes a strong case for individualism.
Nietzche's work was manipulated and twisted to support the Third Reich, but
that's not where its coming from. Enriching.
On the Road - Jack Kerouac - This novel sprawls and meanders, just like its
characters. A giant metaphor. It'll have you wanting to pack up and see the
world.
Notes from Underground - Fyodor Dyostoevsky - The diary of an asshole. Very
short, but repetitive. Not really worth reading.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - Ken Kesey - Engrossing account of an indi-
vidual's rage against the machine. The struggle for freedom in a homogeniz-
ing society.
The Stranger - Albert Camus - He doesn't care. Read it.
-all by Chris
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
They let the bastards off. The rat bastard judge sat there and kiss-
ed their asses and sent the pigs up for the minimum sentence. If HE had any-
thing to do with it they wouldn't get jail time at all. After all, the nig-
ger deserved it, right? Fuck the pigs, fuck the system. Show me justice.
-Chris
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
This power structure keeps the working class weak by dividing it.
Black, White, Yellow, American, etc., are all labels designed to strip you
of any ethnic identity and to keep the "us/them" mentality strong. Don't be
blinded by religion, mindless entertainment, or chemical escapes for they
merely anesthetize the public while the wool gets pulled over the eyes of
millions everyday.
American nationalism is used to objectify whatever brown "enemy"
we are counter terrorizing and to legitimize hundreds of years of slavery,
elitism, bigotry, sexism, genocide and injustice. This objectification is
made possible by having stereotypes rammed down our throats by, once again,
entertainment and, of coarse, the military, industrial-owned mass media.
Keep your head clear and do your best to resist all the bullshit.
-Darren
//////////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Jail is not an answer. Mandatory sentences are not an answer. These
"solutions" are only time buying ploys. The American penal system is a
Sesame Street Band-Aid on a sucking chest wound. You can put a criminal
away for thirty years, they will still be a criminal.
Why do we not concentrate on reforming these people?
It does not matter how long you make a sentence, if conditions that
encourage crime still exist, there will still be crime. If a person feels a
need to be a criminal, no amount of jail time will change that.
Perhaps instead of sentencing criminals for a specific amount of time
in prison, they should be "committed"--they would only be released when they
displayed a want and ability to "go legit". Would this be fascistic. Does
it too much resemble "A Clockwork Orange"?
I am not claiming that I have all the answers, but I certainly do
know that mandatory sentences are not any of them.
Did you know that drug sentences are based on not only the amount,
by weight, of a drug, but also of whatever it is carried on? Because of
this a person who has pure LSD can get a far lighter sentence than someone
who has it on blotter paper, even though they have the same amount of LSD.
This is an example of what mandatory sentencing(not to mention drug law)
does.
All the idiot politicians have to prove that they are "tough on
crime". Who gives a fuck? Leave me alone.
-Chris
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\///////////////////////////////////////
Remember how when we were younger the whole world seemed wonderful,
so full of goodness? We awoke to happy people on "Sesame Street" where no-
thing ever went wrong. But as we grew older our eyes were opened to the
evils of our world. Words such as "racism", "prejudice" and something fol-
lowed by "phobia" were words that we now understood as the eternally perky
newscaster repeated them over and over. So we learned that not everyone
treated one another respectfully and politely like Bob, Gordon, Gina, and
Susan.
Oh, who am I kidding? This isn't a "we" thing. This is me and only
me. My use of "we" was only to make me feel, just for once, that I belonged
to a group. So for me what I write is painfully real within myself.
I learned the hard way exactly how cruel people can be. I am amazed
at the amount of power one has over another's emotions simply by what he or
she may say or do. However, what sickens me is that after the realization
of power, some deliberately use it to his or her own advantage. What gives
these people the right to toy with our emotions? (Oops, there I go again,
using the "editorial we".) While these bad people don't necessarily have
the right to play psychological mind games, we allow it to happen. By allow-
ing a person to obtain extremely personal and private thoughts, such as our
fears and dreams, we/I then take the risk of being hurt. Due to that, part
of me thinks I deserve whatever I get because I let someone in; into my lit-
tle safe of thoughts. But the other side of me drifts back to the "who has
the right?" theory.
So, as I must deal with the hurt, I cry. In fact, I'm crying a lot.
But the tears I shed that concern the hurter are minuscule to those I cry for
myself. Perhaps it is self-pity. I am so angry that I let myself be hurt. But did I let myself be hurt? Or is it all on the hurter? Maybe it's a little of both.
I'm looking over all that I have written and the words to "All Grown
Up" by Elvis Costello come to mind--"If all this life has been such a big
disappointment to you/Why don't you stop blaming some guy/And give the next
one a try?"
I guess I'm just another no-life that needs to stop watching "Gone
With the Wind" and get a reality check.
-Natosha(Generation)
*****************************************************************************
she was his only itch that he had never sctratched. staring at her
from across the room his whole body convulsed--he needed her. her very pre-
sence set his skin crawling. he was sucked into her deep blue eyes. he in-
haled and drew deep from her cool breeze.
slowly he approached. she noticed, but gave no sign, laughing heart-
ily while all others chuckled. the joke was on her. her curly waves of
hair bounced before him and beckoned.
he loved her.
he turned around and ran. his juices caught in his throat and stayed
there until he met the curb. putrid stench and dazzled onlookers.
obsessive is one word.
he needed a beer.
his skin was like sandpaper. his eyes molasses. he was sticking to
the air. chunks of flesh were torn from his arm, his shoulders, his back.
everyones eyes were stuck.
sex filled his mind.
he forced his way through the oppressive air and arrived at her
table. slack jaws and fear but in hers only humor. a sly observance and a
sneaky-thin smile. his hand dived in to her ocean of curls and floated at
the base of her skull. he explored the contours of her neck.
she rose and towered over him. his heart fluttered, shoulder twitch-
ed. she met the door with outreached hand. he could not watch her exit.
collapse with wet soul. his itch was gone, replaced with a perpetual
grinding at his gut. a sawing at his core. everything closes in. fingers
meet eyes in a river of dissatisfaction. hunched over a shriveled beast.
all shrink away.
he needed a beer.
-Chris
#############################################################################
"The end result of complete cellular representation is cancer.
Democracy is cancerous, and bureaus are its cancer. A bureau takes root
anywhere in the state, turns malignant like the Narcotic Bureau, and grows
and grows, always reproducing more of its own kind, until it chokes the host
if not controlled or excised. Bureaus cannot live without a host, being
true parasitic organisms. (A cooperative on the other hand can live without
the state. That is the road to follow. The building up of independent
units to meet needs of the people who participate in the functioning of the
unit. A bureau operates on opposite principle of inventing needs to justify
its existence.) Bureaucracy is wrong as a cancer, a turning away from the
human evolutionary direction of infinite potentials and differentiation and
independent spontaneous action, to the complete parasitism of a virus....
"Bureaus die when the structure of the state collapses. They are as
helpless and unfit for independent existences as a displaced tapeworm, or a
virus that has killed the host..."
-William Burroughs, Naked Lunch
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Dear Beautiful Readers,
I'm very scared.
I'm thinking of _______.
I'm scared this is worth nothing.
"Boy - if you do that mean thing you're doing - you're worth nothing."
Dad, we are going to be OK, alright? ....relax
Mom, I'll love you forever, BUT
I'm slipping back again.
I'm starting to do " things that are unacceptable."
but really - if I do this BIG - do I have the right?
because everyone fucking thinks they know the answer
every fucking person has a part of them
wants to be Jesus
I fear God. I don't want to fear God.
I really hate feeling superior to others,
yet people on t.v. would suggest a loser
everyone fucking wants to be superior
I LOVE YOU
-Joe(SEMI-BEINGS)
write:
Semi-Beings, c/o Keith, 48 Carl Sandburg Dr., Hamilton Sq., NJ 08690
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
I like Beavis and Butthead. They make me laugh. They are funny be-
cause they are morons. Nobody seems to understand this. Beavis and Butthead
are not cool. They are the metal-head burn-out losers that everybody knows
and despises(this does not refer to the legions of cool metal-head burn-outs
that we all know and love.)
Why do so many people think that kids would idolize these geeks? Ap-
parently they do. Some kids stuck a fire cracker up a cats ass and blew it
up after seeing Beavis and Butthead do it. Weird. This has parents and
animal rights groups up in arms, ready to start a boycott to force MTV to
remove animal cruelty from the show.
Let me tell you, I don't support this. Kids are idiots. There are
thousands of sick children out there who do that kind of thing. Everybody
knew a sadistic kid when they were little that enjoyed torturing animals.
Those kids did not learn insensitivity towards animals from a cartoon. They
already knew it. So they drew inspiration from TV. If it hadn't been a
firecracker and a cat it would have been some other cruelty to some other
animal.
The answer to this problem is not a boycott of MTV, but a reapprais-
sal of our values concerning animals. Do we teach children that animals have
any inherant value? Generally, no. The majority of children eat meat and are
told that this is OK and normal. That immediately sends a message to them
that animals lives are subject to our whim. We show them that it is alright
to kill and skin an animal for its fur. We show them that it is acceptable
to hunt and murder animals for sport.
Are these conditions under which children learn the inherant value
of animal life? No, they are quite the opposite. And literal-minded chil-
dren may not be able to make the idealogically incongruous transferal of
value onto animals that we consider pets when they see quite a different at-
titude towards the rest of the animal kingdom.
Beavis and Butthead are not tutors. They are not responsible for ed-
ucating our kids to the evils of the world. Parents are.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A GLANCE AT WAR
Men do not fight wars. Boys fight wars--18 to 23 year old boys led by men
who once were boys and fed psyche mind games by the powers that be.
Why boys?
Boys are young and impressionable, at their physical peak and forever search-
ing for role models + leaders. In this state they can be easily led to for-
eign countries to do the elite's bidding. This elite represents large cor-
porations and most are probably unaware of the atrocities which occur as a
result of their contributions in a capitalist society.
This elite is usually white, Anglo-Saxon, protestant males and claim the
system doesn't discriminate when in this elite there are few women and people
of color, if any.
These boys, led by men, often are in their circumstance to reap benefits to
advance in school, or were under the impression their life would be nothing,
and it was their only chance to be disciplined, cleaned up and payed to get
out of their ghetto habitat. Many of these boys are brown skinned and are
taken from an oppressive environment and put into an environment where all
are oppressed equally.
Many are led to countries of brown people to kill them in their oppressive
environment, side by side with their brown comrades as the blood spills at
their feet or they're behind a computer sending tomahawks to erase human
life, again for this elite.
When your out in 2-4 years, you get your degree and then your 9 to 5 making
40k, 50k just remember, noones fighting a war for you!
You don't need an army for an education.
You don't need an army to be someone.
You don't need an army to free your mind.
You don't need an army for discipline.
So next time some starched, pressed, shaven, handsome, jock recruiter tries
to scrub your brain free of any individuality stick up your middle finger
and say, "They may have gotten you, but they can't take me." And you wonder
why 80-90% of all pigs were in the military.
-Darren
.............................................................................
AIMÉE
The one thing you can't seem to understand
is the one thing I have to grasp.
You're the only one who brings me out
of this depression. You're the only one who makes me feel whole
You're the only one who makes me happy
You're the one thing I have in this fucked up world
You're the only one who I have to hold onto
I need you know!!!
-Freddie
.............................................................................
sometimes i get scared about how this world is going to turn out when i'm
dead. i probably won't mind.
-Chris
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
WHAT I LIKE ABOUT SUMMER '93
i am sick of blunts
i am sick of 40's
i am sick of nose rings
i am sick of tattoos
i am sick of guns, gats, 9s, etc.
i am sick of Snapple(R)
i am sick of talk show hype
i am sick of cheesy shore towns(LBI)
i am sick of being "down" w/?
i am sick of hard guys
i am sick of driving
i am sick of gangs
i am sick of dinosaur movies
i am sick of the warm spot on my pillow
i am sick of Butthead(Beavis is alright)
i am sick of baseball
i am sick of letting "boyz be boyz"
i am sick of skating K-mart
i am sick of Whoomp, there it is(what the fuck does whoomp mean?)
i am sick of sweating my balls off
i am sick of working
i am sick of sleeping till 4 p.m.(well...)
i am sick of Fridays w/ Rhonda UP all night
i am sick of taking 5 showers before i leave my house
i am sick of mowing my lawn
i am sick of Kurt Loder
i am sick of being "Alternative"
i am sick of caring
i am sick of you
i am sick of writing
-Sean
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's not right to kill someone. I was taught that from my first
days. It is not right to kill. This is the thesis upon which much of my
life depends--vegetarianism, peace, government non-intervention. It is not
right to kill someone, whether they are innocent, guilty, a child or a kil-
ler themselves.
Capital punishment is based upon logic that eludes me--it is wrong
to kill therefore we will kill those who kill. We try to demonstrate that
killing is unforgivable by killing and in doing so, become killers ourselves.
If it is wrong to kill(Yes, Christians, it IS wrong to kill. Don't
you know your commandments?) than how can we justify taking anyone's life?
I have nothing but contempt for anyone who defends the death penalty.
An argument I have heard: "I know that if someone killed my family, I would
want that person to pay for it."
Is life in prison not a payment?
"Well, yes, but its not enough."
This is twisted thinking. Its emotional, not logical. What you are
in fact saying is that we should punish people in our society not based upon
what they morally and legally deserve, but upon what the victim's of the
crime feel they should have to suffer. This is not the basis for a fair or
a just legal code.
Now take this into account--not only is the death penalty illogical
and morally corrupt, it does not work.
It is not a deterrant, as it should be. Since the death penalty was
reinstated in the mid-seventies, have crime rates dropped? When you talk to
older people. do they seem to think that things are safer now? No. Crime
rates have steadily increased, with or without the death penalty. No one
would dare postulate that they feel safer now than they did thirty years ago.
Things have gotten worse. The U.S. has one of the worst violent crime rates
in the world. The U.S. is also one of the last industrialized countries to
support capital punishment.
It is given out with class and racial bias. Poor people who must
rely on unskilled public defenders are much more likely to receive a death
sentence. Black people who kill white people are much more likely to be
sentenced to death than either black people who kill black people or white
people who kill black people. Can we condone a penalty as severe as death
when it is not handed down impartially, with an indiscriminate eye?
Finally, there are mistakes. Studies have found that dozens of in-
nocent people have been put to death in this country. Innocent people who,
if they had stayed in jail for life, might have been released upon the dis-
covery of their innocence are dead.
Is the death penalty worth this? Has it improved our society to the
degree where we can dismiss these innocent deaths as "sacrifices for the
cause"? It has not. As long as the U.S. engages in an activity as barbaric
and unforgivable as capital punishment, can we truly call it a civilized
country?
-Chris
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
People who have read the last issue tell me that I have "interesting"
views. Some have labeled me an anarchist. I am not an anarchist and I do
not think that my views are particularly strange. I believe in personal
liberty--simple as that. My views are conservative in the classical sense.
Let me explain...
Why do we need government? Why were governments created? To protect
us from each other. To create order. That is all. The founding principle
of government is to keep people from hurting each other, nothing more. Thus,
every person should be free to do what they wish, as long as they do no harm
to others, correct? It sounds so simple, but look around you, this is not
what our government is doing.
Following the above principle, why do we have drug laws? What harm
does one do to anyone in using drugs? The government is not in place to pro-
tect us from ourselves. If it is, why do they not restrict the consumption
of red meat, ban cigarettes and take "Three's Company" out of syndication?
Drugs are illegal because the elite wants them to be.
Again, following the above principle, why did David Koresh and his
followers burn? If you want to lock yourself up with a religious fundamen-
talist cult, that's your problem.
We live in a society where freedom is being taken away. As the
Digable Planets say, "Land of the free?/But not me." That "not me" is all
of us. Freedom and liberty are the founding principles of this country. We
do not have them because it does not suit the elite to give the insects too
much power.
Do not call my views strange. Do not dismiss me as an "anarchist".
I am neither. You are the ones who are strange for sitting by ignorantly as
you are stripped of your basic human rights. Wake up.
-Chris
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
RELIGIOUS TRAINING
Sister Soffey at school
told me how awful it was
what a sin it'd be
if I touched myself
there
even to pee
I should think of something
else than what's between
fingers - it's a stick
of dynamite that'd blow
my life, my soul
to smithereens.
Father George said the same
after he release it
from his lips.
-Paul Weinman
79 Cottage
Albany, NY 12203
_____________________________________________________________________________
A EULOGY TO VICTIMIZED
Victimized, my once(and only once) great hardcore band is dead. It was
dying a lot longer than any of us had realized, but finally it collapsed.
Jeff lost interest. Freddie disappeared. Sean and I stopped caring. That
band meant a lot to me. It meant growth, personal and musical--the early
days of "Nazi Scum Die" to the end in "Shalt Not". It meant two years of my
life. It meant writing all the parts and convincing the guys they should
play them. It meant I was a control freak. It meant foolish decisions--I'm
sorry Ben. It meant broken friendships, Mike. It meant a lot of breaks,
pretzels and Domino's pizzas. It meant Jeff just "didn't feel like" playing.
It meant betrayal. I'm sorry guys, but every one of you betrayed me. Maybe
it was mutual. I was betrayed by Jeff's apathy, Mike's insolence, Freddie's
immaturity and Sean's ignorance. Victimized was my first real band and it's
dead. I had a great time guys. I love you all.
-Chris
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
There is no reason that anyone needs a gun. It is as simple as that. The
only thing that can come out of a gun is death. Killing is their only pur-
pose. Do no talk at me about your right to bear arms. That was long ago--
when the frontier was untamed, foreign militias were apt to invade, animals
roamed the wilderness and, of course, those "indian savages". Killing is
wrong. Guns are wrong. Don't talk at me about self-defense--take your lumps
and walk on. No, anarchists, armed revolution is not coming soon, if we are
lucky. Armed revolution is not an answer--it alienates. Leave me alone.
Stop talking at me. Stop waving your guns in my face.
-Chris
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
DIFFERENT
What does it mean?
I can't be me.
It's you,
That I,
Have to be.
There is a part,
That no one knows.
You can not,
Love,
What,
You cannot,
See.
When the bunny,
Loses his velvet,
Is he,
Still beautiful?
It all means,
More.
I mean more.
I have to.
Maybe,
If you,
Were not such an,
Asshole,
Blind,
You would remember.
Different,
Bullshit.
I love you,
You stupid fuck.
-Marisa
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Hey Daffodil Queen,
I'm still singing can't stop
Your face on my eyelids
the rush of your cool spring sweatshirt
cool
warm
girl under sweatshirt
my fire
sometimes my inferno
smile at me like a squirrel and let's roll
down the hill one more time
Hey Daffodil queen, it's summer
we must be special.
-Marc
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I walk around City Gardens and all the kids look the same. They all
look DIFFERENT(TM). They all have their hair shaved somewhere and wear baggy
clothes with horizontal stripes and have backpacks and have hats pulled down
low and wear Docs or skate shoes and have goatees and have nose rings or (oh
my!) nipple rings and the girls wear gothic makeup and they are all so alter-
native.
Do you think I'm an asshole? Fuck you.
I talked about this last issue too. All you trendy-ass motherfuckers
think your such hot shit going to City Gardens. You all think your so god-
damn alternative, don't you? Why don't you think for yourselves? Hardcore
music is not about looking the same. Not to me it isn't. I guess it is to
you.
I wear a backpack to shows sometimes. I put zines I'm gonna sell in
it. People at all night raves keep toothbrushes and stuff like that. Hitch-
hikers and people "just passing through" keep all their stuff in it. I doubt
more than three people on any given night fall into those categories. What
the fuck do all you idiots need backpacks for? To look cool?
Why do I listen to the music I listen to? Why do I go through all
the trouble to write this zine? Because I love independence. I love being
who I am. I love the acceptance of difference that I feel in the music, the
zines, the community. Hardcore is about being different. Not different
grunge or different rave or different skater or different hardguy, but dif-
ferent you. We are all different. If we are ourselves, we are being dif-
ferent. Why do we buy into this image of "the alternative person"? This
person does not exist outside of someone's mind. Be yourself. That means
wear what you think looks good, not what you think is different. That means
listen to the music you like, not the music that's different. That means
wear a backpack when you need one, not because you think it's cool.
You don't have to work to be yourself. For most, it comes naturally.
You have to fight for it though. If you let peer pressure turn you into a
generic alternative moron, what makes you better than the mall chicks you
make fun of at school? Nothing. You are exactly the same, except you are
DIFFERENT(TM).
-Chris
=============================================================================
Have you ever noticed how you take five pairs of socks along with
mounds of other dirty clothes, put them on the washing machine, take them
out, and start folding them only to find that you have exactly 9 socks which
amounts to a total of four and a half pairs of socks? You put all your other
clothes in the spot they're supposed to be in until you notice one sock,
lying lonely and dejected on your bed. What exactly are you supposed to do
with it? You don't want to throw it out because you might end up finding
its match and yet you don't really want to keep it because what the heck are
you going to do with one sock? But eventually you decide to keep it and pro-
ceed to shove it in your drawer where you see it day in and day out or when-
ever else you happen to open your sock drawer. You go rummaging through your
drawer every day trying to find a pair and all that that one sock does is get
in your way. So you shove it aside as if its a worthless piece of nothing,
hoping that by some bizarre twist of fate it'll disappear. But... it
doesn't. And week after week you do your laundry while that one sock sits
alone in a dark, dank drawer.
How does it feel, you wonder? How does it feel to be that one odd
sock, the odd one out, the one that has no pair or match, just itself. I
mean, a sock is just not a sock without its partner.
Everybody is happy in Sockland except for Mr. Lonely Sock whose wife
Mrs. Lonely Sock was lost in the hazardous journey between the washer and the dryer. Where could she be, he wonders as he glares with longing art all the other loving sock couples. Oh, God, why? WHY?? Why did she have to be taken away from him? He is all alone. He is nothing without Mrs. Lonely Sock. So he sits and waits as the days turn into weeks, the weeks into months and the months into years, hoping that one day she will return. But alas, Mr. Lonely Sock. Mrs. Lonely Sock is no more, and your painful wait is in vain, for she shall never return.
Loneliness is... one sock.
-Manu
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
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Zia Cosmetics
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I AM A IDIOT
I'm not an idiot I'm not an idiot, I'm not a fucking stooge; so stop talking
to me about guns and bombs and stop trying to sell me on class warfare - I'm
not brain dead and I'm not an endtable and I'm really, really, quite sure
that you DO NOT mean business, that you're just one of many stupid shouting
voices who wants to play fight the pigs and talk drunk about bombing gas
stations, until you have to work in one that is, friend.
I'm not an idiot so please, please, please stop yabbering to me about the
first amendment - because you're never going to get on tv so anybody can
hear you, and even if you did get on tv you still wouldn't know what the
fuck to say, and even if you did get on tv and you did have something excit-
ing to say the STILL wouldn't air you because you'd be wearing your extra
large "Fuck Censorship" t-shirt and a long time ago, long before you were
even born, the government got together with the radio and tv stations to
make sure that those kinds of words would never in a million years be broad-
cast, so for god's sake just stop talking.
"I AM A IDIOT" by Born Against - BA/Universal Order of Armeggedon split 7"
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YOUTH
adultery, bubowltery
-Sean
_____________________________________________________________________________
EYES
Today fades away
But
Yesterday is as bright
Bright
As the blue in her eyes?
I catch myself falling
falling back
back
into those days
Days when the yellow sun
Shined bright on her pale skin
I can smell the air
I can feel the warmth of the sun
And
For a few seconds I can hold her
Right there
There on that dock that
Was once so familiar to me
Why did I leave her
I feel so wrong
So selfish
I took advantage
Scarred her trusting heart
"Why are you leaving?"
She looked at me
And
Asked so innocently
But all my words couldn't explain
I'm so lucky
Lucky
That she still loves me
And
As each brand new day is born
I love her more
Those sparkling eyes
That never quite seem to fade
The light in them becoming
Beaming in all her darkness
Though she thinks
The world of me
The guilt on my soul will never
Never leave
She is the beauty
She is the glory
And
She is the strength
I'm not sure if she knows
But
I know without her
I
Would be nothing
I will never forget those days
Days on the dock
That light in her eyes
But
I will also never forget
That day I left her
When her heart wept
And
The tears of broken emotions
Rolled down her cheek.
-Christa
=============================================================================
THE SCENE
In the cool of a suburban summer night, young men stare blankly at
a waxed curb, Snapple in hand, waiting their turn. In an Upper West Side
apartment, "intellectuals" debate a burning question--who posses the Amer-
ican dream, Hugh Hefner or Al Bundy? In a small village in an equally mi-
nute African village, a young boy is becoming a man with the help of a lit-
tle paint. At a frat-house in the deep south, an 18-year-old is taking a
plunge from higher education out of a 3-story window.
Same shit, different day.
-Sean
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My vision of America is blurred, my view is obscured. It hits me on
a number of levels, cerebral and gut. America is so much to so many and so
few. Its reality is dour, its theory inspired.
America is the land of trash culture. Everything is disposable,
from our razors to our idols. Time flies through fifteen minutes of fame
for a seemingly endless procession of critic's darlings and mass-media demi-
gods. Where are the Rembrandts of our day? Where is our Van Gogh? Some
pale imitation is creating refuse to be immortalized in the nearest landfill.
Our ancestors will look back and find styrofoam cups and Debbie Gibson CDs.
America is the land of identity crisis--champion of the under
classes is how we represent, while control by the upper class is the sad
fact of life. Where are we going? A thousand directions at once, apparent-
ly. We are still hurling out of the vortex of Reaganism--the poor hit bot-
tom while the rich get high on the smell of their freshly printed dollars
that inflate WHILE YOU WAIT!!!
America is mercenary. Its foundations are set in greed. In the
basement we hide thousands of Native American corpses. Some, the unfortu-
nate ones, are still living. They are screaming, "Let us out! Give us our
pride! Give us our culture!" But they have no pride, no culture, because
they have no sense of ownership, no sense of greed. Though they settled
here long before lawyers and brokers and agents, they were never truly Amer-
ican. They never understood the soil of the New World--how the rocks plot
and the rivers steal.
America is dying. It is too ambitious. There is not enough of it
to go around, but everybody wants some. Or is that what they want me to
think? Is that another lie created to keep me complacent, begging for more?
America is anemic.
-Chris
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FROM THE OUTSIDE IN
I'm stuck on the outside, you
won't let me in
If you continue to feed my rage, you'll
wish I'd never been
I might have done something wrong, but
what's it to you
Finding yourself in that situation, you
probably would have done it too
Have you ever heard of forgive and forget
Or is you mind totally set
On hating me and everything I stand for
I don't think I can take much more
Of this rejection, of this solitude
Anymore of your fucking attitude
I'm trying to accept who you are
It's actually working so far
I want you to accept me too
If you don't, I'm gonna fuckin' kill you
-Chris M.
IT'S ALL GONE
I look in the mirror
I'm not half of what I used to be
Just not the same
Something different
Wrong
Never used to feel this way
So tired
Let me sleep
No energy
Only spurts of life now and again
I'm so fucking sick
Sick of living my life like this
Watching the light I used to have
Dim, Dull, and fade away
And no matter what I do
I can't hold onto it
It's gone
It's not fear
I can't STAND looking at myself
I can't help hold onto my light
Why?
Break the fucking mirror
I'll still be here
A shadow of what I used to be
Eyes turned gray
Smile turned to tears
Overcome by my jealousy
Lost in my world
Falling too short of all my expectations
Fuck you
You don't understand
I don't even understand
All I know is that it's gone
It's all gone
And there was nothing I could do
I'm not even half of what I used to be
So fucking sad
So fucking lost
It's so fucking dark
Black
Faded
Like the hue of my skin
Like my memories
Gone with my light
-Christa
.............................................................................
SEAN'S ONE LOUSY REVIEW
THE SEMIBEINGS
AN EMOTIONAL BUFFET
let's get this out of the way. my last band tried to put out a 3
song 7", the biggest problem was not just finding the money to put it out
(though it turned out to be one of the main reasons why no one owns a copy
of victimized-shackled by hatred) but finding the right 3 songs we felt best
represented us. on their second "demo", an emotional buffet, the semibeings
seem to have said, "fuck that", this mutha's got 17 songs!
ok, with that out of the way, let's review shall we? guitarist pat
baker and bassist tom mcdonald groove steadily throughout the album knowing
when to hold back and when to go balls. drummer dave von bargen, while not
being used to his fullest extent on this album, plays straight forward beats
with a little of that "von bargen" flair thrown in to get his point across
(and he makes one hell of a french crueler). co-writer/vocalists jow baker
and keith monacchio combine forces and take over the western world... just
kidding, to say the least, they get shit done.
there is too many songs to review every song on this tape, plus what
i say might be a load of crap anyway, but i especially liked;"center song"
(a bouncy, cool ditty to sing along to), "welcome" (again a boundy, with the
lack of a better word, folksy, tune with some pretty morbid, yet like all
songs on this album, true lyrics), and "3 boys" (an emotional tune sang with
equally emotional strength).
the result? a great album. buy it.
send check or money order for $6.75 (tape&postage) to:
Kieth Monacchio
48 Carl Sandburg Dr.
Hamilton Sq., NJ 08690
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