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Going Ape Shit Press 016
going ape shit press #16 by pip the angry youth
boo! bet you didn't expect me to write another gasp!
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the m0r0n's guide to anarchy
so, you want to blow your fingers off? well, this is just the guide
for you... welcome to the moron's guide to anarchy.
how to blow your fingers off
now, if you're mindlessly distructive, you'll love this. go out to
the local fireworks store (if you live in some backwoods state who still
sells them to the general populace) and buy several m-80s... go out into
the forest with some of your redneck friends with missing genetic
material. light the m80 and wait till the very last second and then
throw it... the last person with fingers left on their hand wins.
melting your face off
i have no idea how to make thermite... but if'n j00 iz l33t enough...
you can get your hands on a copy of the anarchist's cookbook... now you
light it with your common every day lighter and put your face right in
front of the flames... this will pretty much hurt for about the first
few seconds (keep in mind, this burns at 1/2 the intensity of a nuculear
explosion) but it'll abate soon enough.
how to prove you're an 3lit3 anarchist
welp, we all know that anarchists are getting into shit 24/7, so i'd
venture to say that it's a pretty safe bet that i'm correct here. if you
want to be an 3lit0 anarchist, you have to be missing some fingers...
maybe one or two, but missing them none the less. get a really sharp
pair of hedge clippers, sissors, or a kitchen knife. this part will
hurt a bit, but pleasure before pain as i allways say. lop off a
finger! there will be no other way for you to get the recognition that
you so very much deserve. the bleeding will go away in about 2 hrs... i
would frankly not be too scared about it if i were you, it's just the
way it goes. after all, you have to let somethings run their corse,
y'know?
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how piss off your rg sysop friends
i know that i didn't want to make anything that'd be a shitty "how to
annoy people that you don't even know", and this still isn't that, it's
how to piss off your rg sysop FRIENDS... =] here in 908 where the geeks
have no life besides the modem, so we crash each other boards quite
often...
my little invention that i have going is the %DF and %DE and several
other mcis... we're goign to play with diz's!
here's a list of faves that i have...
%LF%LFRuntime error 103 at 0000:0012%LF%LF%DE%DE
%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE
%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE
%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE
%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE
%Dfmain.ans%%DFemail%%DF...<etc>
%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%LF%LFNO CARRIER%LF%LF%DE%DE%DE
%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE
%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE
%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE
%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE%DE
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what the government doesn't want you to know
there's a conspiracy, but no one beleives me... you know why? because
they say i'm crazy... but i'll show them who's crazy once the japs take
over the world, you know that's what they're doing, right?
oh yeah, i read all about it in that there magazine, the national sun,
they tell the god's truth about the world, not like that new york times,
they didn't beleive me neither. i tell you, it's the japs, they're in
it with the commies.
the ussr isn't dead, but that's what they want you to beleive, oh
yeah... they're still in russia with their pinko commie nuculear
missiles and guns. the conventions? they're a hoax, the usa doesn't
know about this, they refuse to beleive me when i tell them about what
the commies are doing. this is how it's goign to go down...
1) first, the japs are going to buy out all of the movie theatres in
the good old usa.
2) they're going to play only movies with subliminal messages in them
so that way they can program your brain with what they want you to
'beleive'...
3) once we become a nation of preprogrammed zombies, the commies are
goign to invade the united states and take it over.
4) then, the commies and japs are going to use the space ships that
the us government has captured and take over the rest of the
planet.
5) from there, they're going to disect some of the space ships to
figure out how they make interplanetary travel possible, and then
attack other planets.
6) by the year 2050 the commies and japs will rule the galaxy, and in
200 years after that, the rest of the universe.
i'm telling you, it's the gospel truth. there's no way out of it,
it's slowly working into your brain. those damned teenagers are
allready numbed in the mind by that awful mtv garbage. it's going down,
it's going down now. be forewarned.
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