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hats10

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Published in 
Hats
 · 26 Apr 2019

  

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T-File_10________March_1_2005
Go Forth and Wait: A play in one scene
By Jokester

Characters:

DAVE: The hero of the scene. Your absolute, everyday teenager with a
tolerance for the events around him.

DIANE: Dave's sister. A complete airhead, and the darling of the
family.

MOM: Their Mother. Adores Diane, ignores Dave. Voice is constantly
perky.

DAD: Their Father. Loves mom, immerses himself in the event of life.

EDDIE: Dave's best friend. Best described as an evil version of Eddie
on "Leave it to beaver".


Props Needed:

Couch
Table
A few chairs
Television Set
A pair of sneakers (old).
Door
Fishtank
Garbage can (large)


SCENE OPENS

[Dave is doing his homework on the dining room table. Diane is lying
on the couch, watching the fishtank. All is quiet for a very slight
pause. A sneaker, dropped from above the view of the audience, falls
onto the stage.]

DAVE: (Looks up, and watches Diane for a second. His eyebrow raises,
then he speaks.) Uh, Diane?

DIANE: Mm, yes?

DAVE: You're watching the fish tank. (Looks back down again.)

DIANE: (Squeak) Oh. (Turns herself around on the couch and starts
watching
the TV on her stomach.)

[MOM comes in, stage left. She strikes a Mrs. Brady Happy pose.]

DAVE: (Looks up, and starts to raise his right hand, pointing.) Ah,
Mom..

[It's too late. She walks over near her beloved Diane and clasps her
hands.]

MOM: And how's my favorite little darling?

DIANE: (Still watching TV) Condusive, ma.

MOM: That's Wonderful, dear!

[She then walks out through stage left, ignoring Dave.]

DAVE: [Still with his hand up on its elbow, still pointing up.]
Ochtch.

[Suddenly, there's a knock on the door. It opens. It's DAD in his
business
suit. And is HE happy. Dave looks up. Diane continues to watch TV.]

DAD: Honey, I'm concious! [Takes off his hat and throws it into the
garbage.]

[Mom comes running in. Her arms are turned up so her loose fists are
facing
Dad. She twists as she walks.]

MOM: Hi, Dear!

DAD: (Arms outstetched, he drops the briefcase) Aloha!

[Convoluted Muffle kiss. Improvisation time. Actors can be as
exaggerated as they please.]

[They turn to Diane. Dave by this time has looked back down at his
homework, and is thinking about a problem.]

MOM AND DAD: Hello, Daughter!

DIANE: (Turns to them, sits up on couch) Hello, Parents!

[Diane gets up. All three hug. Dave starts writing again.]

PAUSE

[They break apart.]

DAD: Do you know what today is?

DIANE: I have a concept. It's my genesis anniversary!

DAD: Right! And your gifts are waiting outside!

[Dave is slightly interested. He looks up now.]

DIANE: Really? Wow! [She runs to the door. Dad and Mom look at each
other and smile. She clasps her hands.] Oh wow! A Shetland pony and a
new Porsche!

HORSE SOUND EFFECT.

[Diane runs out the door. Dad and Mom walk out after her. Dave stands
up and walks to the middle of the stage. He's slightly pertrubed.]

DIANE: (Offstage) Wow! This is rad!

HORSE SOUND EFFECT.

DAVE: (Looks to audience) Does this happen to you? For MY birthday,
they gave me a lava lamp. Sibling rivaly is a cruel thing, but sibling
annihilation is another thing altoghether. (pause) It's Miller time.

[Eddie appears at the window.]

EDDIE: Hi, Dave!

DAVE: Hi, Eddie.

[Eddie climbs in through the window. He walks over to Dave.]

EDDIE: (Gesturing towards window) Yer windows have no glass.

DAVE: Whatever.

EDDIE: Yeah. Hey, your sister got a shetland pony.

DAVE: I'm well aware of that, Eddie. I'm not particuarly happy about
it.

EDDIE: Why? It's great.

DAVE: Not if you had gotten a waste of a present for YOUR birthday.
This is sick. (Starts looking up.)

EDDIE: What're you doing?

DAVE: I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

[The other shoe falls from above the audience's view. Dad opens the
door and looks inside.]

DAD: Hey, son....

DAVE: (Looks down and back at him.) Jes?

DAD: Mind if we clear out your private clubhouse for a stable? The
garage's ceiling is too low.

DAVE: (Puts his hands on his hips and says sarcastically) No. I think
that's just dandy.

DAD: Thanks. (Puts his head back in, closes the door.)

DAVE: See what I mean?

EDDIE: Yeah. But look at the bright side.

DAVE: What bright side?

EDDIE: The skit's over.


LIGHTS OUT

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