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ldt031: Those Random People Who Talk to You in the Street

eZine's profile picture
Published in 
Long Dark Tunnel
 · 26 Apr 2019

#031 - [ Those Random People Who Talk to You in the Street ] [ BlackShark ]

"You hardly dare read it do you?" I hear.

Is she talking to me?? I wonder, I look up and see an old lady talking to me.

"No you dont do you" wondering what she is talking about.

I scan the area, i'm in WHSmiths, what am i near....the NEWSPAPERS
ok whats happened recently, BIN LADEN of course, ok lets look at the news papers....."BRITAIN DECLARES WAR!"

Ahhh that is what she means, while i have been working out what she meant she has been speaking to me. What she has said, i dont know, then it dawns on me..

SHIT I HAVE INITIATED CONVERSATION....THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO!!!! I'M IN A PLOT OF QUICK SAND TRYING TO GET OUT AND SHE IS TIED TO MY FEET DRAGGING ME FURTHER DOWN.

"I hope i dont have to be drafted in" I reply, not knowing what she has just said in the last 15 seconds.

"Well i dont think it will get to that" she says with a smile,

"i was alive in the last war and it was not nice at all, ive basically had my life, you still have yours to go"

Now i dont know what it is with me, but i feel that others think they can start conversations, do i have a COME TALK TO ME AND WASTE MY TIME WHILE IM TRYING TO DO MY SHOPPING FACE?

If so i was given the wrong face, i hate shopping with others, mainly on 2 factors.

  1. If i go shopping i either know what i am getting so it will take 10 minutes for me to do or else.
  2. i dont know what the fuck i am getting and i go impulse buying, now it shits me when i go impulse buying when i am with other people, i dont know what i am getting and i feel like i am dragging the other person aimlessly around with me like a lost sheep and shepard.

Then this lady comes and talks to me, now its not as though i was stood there looking to waste time or for an idle convo, far from it, i was busy scurring around looking for a copy of viz!

This is an adult magazine that says......

i have a dirty sense of humour, you wouldn't want your daughter going out with me and i very much doubt you would want to talk to me, yet i had no magazine of defence!! shame really, i could have done with it.

She carries on talking, im doing my best to get away.......everything is rebounding, its like trying to knock down the great wall of china with a ping pong ball.....useless, everything i say is just used as ammo for more talking for her......

Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap.....i keep replying with monosylabic statements, im not the rude type, mentally yes i am but i could not be to someone else, it would hurt them.

Then after 10 minutes of me thinking....."oh come on, fuck off and finish already i aint really interested" she says..

"well i have to go now, bye"

she about turns and high tails it out of there...GONE, i doubt i will ever see her again, and i dont mind either, she is probably speaking to someone else right now who doesn't care as you read this text.

There is of course the other sort of person......

The one you stand NO chance of escaping....you know why.....its cos you are waiting, be it a bus stop or a queue or registration for uni or dole or where ever. you are both in the same place at the same time. You cant leave, there is no escape, it starts off with a probing question.

"Is there a bus due?" he asks.
"yeah about 3 minutes ago" i reply
"Ahh well if all else fails there is another one at 10:45pm"
"yeah you are right"

Then there is a pause as he comes and sits down just where i am stood, i'm thinking mmmm only 30 minutes until the next bus not long now, its a bit cold thats the only problem.

"so what year are you in?? 1st?"
i shake my head
"2nd?"
i shake my head again"
"3rd??"
i shake my head again"4th" i say
"4th?!?!?! how old are you???"
"22"
"damn im only a first year"

Again conversation has been initiated, and it continues for 30 minutes, although this time i have no time to waste, im waiting for a bus that, if i was not soo lazy i could have not bothered with and walked to my destination.

In this conversation instead of talking about stuff that affects the world (see bin laden) he is talking about personal issues. Stuff i dont care about and never would, except this time, its better, im being talked AT rather than to, i am sure you know the stuff....basically lectures at uni. they talk to you and dont care if they get feed back or not.

You can just stand there or sit there and not really care, the "information" can go in one ear and out of the other, who cares if you remember it, its idle chit chat, i have totally nothing against it, but its weird how you can get soo many personal issues out of someone you have never ever seen before and probably never will again.

Just from this 1/2 hour installment of this guys life i learned that.

  1. He was in the first year
  2. He was thus 18 - 19 as he came straight from A-Levels
  3. He failed most of his A-Levels (below a D), he did 5
  4. The A-levels were, Maths - pure, Maths - mechanical, physics, computing and Drama.
  5. He lives about 27 miles away
  6. He had 2 telesales jobs, which got him 400 quid per week and now works in a pub not far away.
  7. He was in maths group with 8 other people, 1 sikh, 1 muslim girl, 1 muslim guy, 4 white guys and 1 white girl.
  8. His maths teacher got a C at maths A-level, was christian and taught everything he knew as according to christianity.
  9. He wants to do a cisco networking course at uni. he wants to do a CCNA in the end after the course.
  10. His name was Chris.
  11. He had had 4 - 5 pints that night and had just been watching the pool.
  12. He lives with 3 other 2nd years, 1 being a girl called laura, 1 other guy and 1 other guy who lived in the house before and he was a little "hitler" who ran the house like a dictator.
  13. He was going to goto tutorials in the uni on stuff that he already knew how to do just to make friends.

These are just 13 main points that i can remember off the top of my head about 1 and a half hours after the conversation. He was a really nice guy and made the 30 minute wait interesting, but it was just idle chit chat that meant nothing to me or him, i am sure he cant even remember my name or what i look like and i am sure that i will never meet him again. If i do and he remembers me ill be very impressed.


I have totally nothing against anyone just talking to me (when i have the time) but its just weird how someone you dont know, someone you will never know and someone you probably wont see again can have a conversation about nothing and make it interesting until you both part company.

But next time you get a random talker talking to you, try saying something really weird and vile like, "have you purposely put your hand in dog poo just to see what it feels like in your hand and between your fingers and then smelt it?"

Just see what their reaction is, if you live in a big city where no one knows who you are or who you would be then that will be ok, but if you live in a small tiny place, dont, you will be shot most probably.........

BlackShark - usrhlp@yahoo.com

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Long Dark Tunnel 2001. - http://ldt.aguk.co.uk - ldt@hushmail.com
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