Milk_Issue_61

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Milk

 · 26 Apr 2019

  

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-By  
James  
Hetfield 
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        WHooMp here it is.  The LAST [MiLK] Text file... kinda brings a tear 
to your eye, eh?  Either that, or a sigh of relief.  Well, probably most of 
you have though [MiLK] has been dead for a long time now, considering a file 
has not come out in the last two months... but we've, uhm, just been  
sleeping! yeah, that's it!  Well,  for your information, the Original group 
[MiLK] will be dead, but that is because a new offspring will be coming from 
it... MiLK will be merging with a bunch of kiddies on the New Jersey side, 
and a new group will be formed... something like "Tea and Crumpets" or  
"MiLK and Tea" or "Tea and MiLK"... something like that.  So be watching for 
these, these Tfiles should be coming out at about 10x the pace that [MiLK] 
files came out... So, for old time's sake, let's take a [MiLK] Aptitude test! 
Let's see how much you REALLY subscibed to the school of MiLK... 

1) What do you consider yourself to be, in the eye of the world? 

        a) I consider myself a citizen of the universe. 
        b) I'm fuKien /<-RaD 
        c) Joey Buttafuco 
        d) I'm a Lamer. 

2) If you had 3 Oranges, and someone gave you 14 more, what would you have? 

        a) 17 Oranges 
        b) 42 Oranges 
        c) Orange Juice 
        d) Totall and Universal Happiness 

3) What is the typical response going through your head after reading the 
   typical MiLK file? 

        a) Wow! I wish I was a MiLK member! 
        b) Wow! I'm glad I'm a MiLK member! 
        c) What's that Smell?... 
        d) This Sucks. 

4) Who is the greatest Lamprey hunter in the universe? 

        a) Pete 
        b) Nyarlathotep 
        c) 42 
        d) Helen Keller 

5) After reading a MiLK file, what's the most common response of these? 

        a) I think I'm going to go help my community! 
        b) I think I'm going to go get baked! 
        c) I want to KILL the woman whose hand is on the home shopping 
           club... 
        d) That reminds me, I'm out of Sea Monkey food... 

6) What's your favorite type of music? 

        a) Industrial 
        b) Alternative 
        c) Ray Gay 
        d) The marching Band at my school 

7) What is the greatest Video game ever to be produced? 

        a) DOOM 
        b) Mortal Kombat 
        c) Pac-Man 
        d) Little People's Farm 

8) If you could watch ANY telelvision show right now, what show would you be 
   watching? 

        a) The Cosby Show 
        b) Family Ties 
        c) The Beverly Hillbillies 
        d) Green Acres 

9) If you could watch ANY game show right now, what show would you be  
   watching? 

        a) Jeopardy 
        b) The Price is right 
        c) Press your Luck 
        d) Supermarket Sweep 

10) If you could have sex with ANY television character, which would it be? 
  
        a) Kelly Bundy from Married w/ Children 
        b) Kirsty Alley from Cheers 
        c) Smurfette from the Smurfs 
        d) The Owner's Dog from Fraggle Rock 

Here's how you Score Yourself: 

        Every Answer You Picked... 

        A = 0 Points 
        B = 1 Points 
        C = 2 Points 
        D = 5 Points 

0 - 10 Points  : Go Read Some Anarchy Text Files. 
10 - 20 Points : You've only read the first few MiLK files 
20 - 30 Points : You need to drink a few more Slurpees 
30 - 40 Points : You're almost Lame enuff to be a MiLK member 
40 - 50 Points : Wow! You're really Phat! 

        Thanks for Taking the Test.  Expect the new Text File group to be 
out very soon to a BBS near You.  Until then, this is MiLK, signing off... 

---  

        Note: If you are currently a MiLK member, get in touch with Jamesy 
immediately.  We're going to need the old members to keep writing for the new 
group!  Thanks... 

-=- 
        Contact Jamesy at: milk@ripco.com  

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        The Obloid Sphere       [708]965-3098   [14.4] 
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        This File is 4677 bytes: don't fuck with it 
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