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My Millionth Zine Issue 01
my millionth zine #01 by James Hetfield
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welcome... let's start this off with a few ground rules... we
(mmz) hate pip the angry youth (sellout). no, it's more than just a hate,
it's an extremely bitter taste on the levels of mango peels. he is the
natural born killer of m&t, and we really don't like that fellow.
so what are we going to do about it?
we're going to write an ENTIRE ZINE MOCKING HIS ZINE!#@!!@#!@$@#$!@
WOW, WE'RE MATURE@!#!@%#@!#$ YEEE HAW#@!$!%@!#$^!@#$
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since my recent hiatus from writing pickles has ended, you're going to see
quite a bit of releases from me. spurratic yes, but does it have quality?
i will leave that to you the reader. some people actually have the
misconception that i care what people think about my anus; i have no
customer base, i have no profits, and i turn girls gay. this leads me to
the conclusing that i don't really have to give two flying fucks about
what some idiot in new jersey/cali/whereever thinks about me, especially
someone who can't even get a non-angstful handle; but we're not going to say
any names.
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people look forward towards the releases of doomed to obscurity, slinky,
and other misadventures of mogel that are logged into the 2599 list of
t-files. what ever happened to a zine that reviewed other zines within
itself? where there is one, there is the other; where there's the
performer there is always the critic. i take this upon myself, i
self-appoint myself to the level of zine critic. when there is a new dto
release, we will be there. when mogel decides to cross state borders in
spite of his parole, we will be there. when an appocolypse-like storm
comes up the east coast, we will be there to say what rattle had to say
abou that. when cerkit decides that the time is right to release a new
issue of slinky, we will be there. when pip decides to start up his
gasp AGAIN, we won't even be in the neighborhood.
you don't think that i want to report on shit _that_ boring? i may not
have a life, but i at least have _standards_.
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i'll also release reviews on albums, books, movies, and whatever else i
deem fit to grace the pages of mmz. stories? of couse we'll have
stories here... it wouldn't be a jamesyzine if there weren't any stories. i
think that if you're reading my zines, then you have an interest in what
i put out, so i'd like to know what you'd want me to write about. maybe
i'll take someone's input into consideration.
jh@wwti.iway.net / u427@ng.nexy.org
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that's about it for the first issue of mmz... take it easy.
-James Hetfield
