The Hogs of Entropy 0521

Published in

· 26 Apr 2019

  

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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #521 
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8  
    888     888 888      888 888            "Effective Fast-Food Training" 
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8                 
    888     888 888      888 888    "               by Phairgirl 
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o              3/21/99 
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8 
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        Lance, I'm going to call you Lump. 

        Because all you ever do is make the sandwich, and then just let it 
 sit there while you stand around and look at the incredible nothing. 

        You could HELP ME OUT a little, THAT'S what you could be doing. 

        I KNOW you're busy.  So am I.  But I can't do it all myself. 

        No, you don't have to do it all.  Just help out a little bit. 

        Thanks for choosing Wendy's, can I take your order please. 

        That will be $2.10, thank you. 

        Christ Lance, the bag's right in front of you.  Is it that 
 difficult to GRAB the bag and SLIDE the sandwich inside?  Hell I'll even 
 get the napkins if you'll just grab a bag once in a while. 

        Look, Lance, if Ken, the incredible boy who took two and a half 
 minutes to make a sandwich could grab a bag once in a while, you can too. 

        Oh whatever.  I'm assigning you to the retard bus.  SAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

        Thanks for choosing Wendy's, can I take your order please. 

        How many jr. bacons was that? 

        Thank you, $4.20. 

        No, Lance, I'll get the fries, you just make those sandwiches and 
 GRAB A BAG. 

        Wow, look, Lump can bag an order after all. 

        No, you're not drooling enough for the retard bus. 

        How come all the girls in the drive through know you, Lance?  You 
 always look out the window, and the girls say "Hi Lance."  Did you do them 
 all? 

        Well, come on.  I can't imagine any girls talking to you at all 
 unless you slept with them.  No, really. 

        Thanks for choosing Wendy's, can I take your order please. 

        Shut up, Lump, and make the goddamn sandwich. 

        That will be $2.00, thank you. 

        Holy shit, Lump bagged a sandwich.  Christ boy, I only gave you 
 that nickname ten minutes ago and already I'm gonna have to find something 
 else to call you. 

        You're doing a nice job, Lance.  Now that you can actually make the 
 sandwiches AND throw them in a bag 70% of the time, we're going to work 
 on your speed. 

        I know you don't care.  But the scary fact is, you're being paid to 
 care. 

        I don't care either.  I mean, I have to act like I care because I'm 
 your role model.  But I don't actually care.  So I don't expect you to 
 REALLY care.  But just act like you do. 

        Yeah, I know you still really don't care.  That's our little 
 secret. 

        No, you can't go home Lance, you're here until 4:00. 

        Go home Lance. 

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #521 - WRITTEN BY: PHAIRGIRL - 3/21/99 ]