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The Humus Report
in this place, please find a new electronic magazine, "the humus report"
(HUMUS.xxx)... to give credit, NUTWORKS gave me the idea for this thing,
and i'd like to give it a slightly different feel, if for no other reason
than getting NUTWORKS out here on the west coast is a little iffy at best...
if you have conservative leanings and are easily offended, please do NOT
download this file... i don't want to hear from anyone that says they read
it and want it burned like perry como records...
feel free to spread this sucker to the ends of the earth, with one
proviso: it cannot be given out for monetary remuneration of any type,
except that which is paid back to the publisher/editor (>ME<)... other than
that, feel free to upload it anywhere you wish, give it to friends, etc...
this publication is a subscriber publication. if you like what we do
here, please subscribe... subscriptions guarantee that you will receive
each and every Humus Report that sees the light of day... i hear you
saying, "where do i send my money? i don't ever want to miss your fine
publication..."
caren park
2557 Fourteenth Avenue West
Suite 501
Seattle, Washington 98119
(01 January 1992)
A few remarks from the chief bottle washer:
Hello, there, fellow friends of weird. We are very happy to bring
to you the strangest and most absurd that we can find in a format pleasing
to the inquiring mind. We will attempt to bring to you items of focus,
items for the discriminating thought process that some of us have (usually
after we order a Domino's Pizza with everything but onions and cooked
tomatoes on it), items with little social redeeming value. These are our
goals, and we wish you to become a small part in this orchestration.
If those among you would kindly send in junk that you have no other
use for, stuff that you read and find humorous, filth that no one else will
take, stories absurd or preposterous, news that isn't fit to line
litterboxes anywhere, if you would send those gems to us here at The Humus
Report, we'd appreciate it. Our address will be given to you near the end
of our report. We will cull from the post office box all death threats and
denunciations, and print what we can of whatever is left. The rest is up to
you...
We would appreciate it if: (1) the sending of copyrighted material
for publication was sent ONLY if you also send along a legal release for us
to use that material; (2) if you should see non-attributed copyrighted
material in our stuff, please let us know ASAP so we can take appropriate
actions; (3) if you like what we do here, please donate whatever you feel
appropriate, so that we can continue to bring you this stuff month after
month...
We would also appreciate it if you would distribute this newsletter
far and wide, to the six corners of the world, to the heights and depths
your soul can reach, the ends of the universe, and even to the Super 8 Motel
just outside of Milwaukee, if you should happen to be there before I... The
only restriction I make upon its distribution is that NO CHARGE, zero,
zilch, nil, none, all of the above, NO CHARGE will be made for this
newsletter unless I receive 100% of that charge... This means, NO CHARGE
for diskette distribution, NO CHARGE for inclusion with other junk, NO
CHARGE for access, etc... As I am insured by the Guido and Vittorio Pin-
Stripe Violin Case Maker Insurance Company, I hope there will be no
exceptions...
I also have a program called CKP-MSG.ZIP which contains virtually
everything you will see here and over 3 megabytes (in ZIP format) more. For
a nominal cost per year, I will provide the latest copy of the
ibEENmISLED/compatible program AND the latest updates of the datafile to
you... address inquiries about this program and/or the datafile to the:
caren park
2557 Fourteenth Avenue West
Suite 501
Seattle, Washington 98119
(01 January 1992)
