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t h e n e o - c o m i n t e r n i n s t a l l m e n t 2 8
WE ARE THE 5th INTERNATIONAL
August 4th, 1998
editor: BMC
writers:
Gnarly Wayne
BMC
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.
featured in this installment: .
Zombie Racism Quiz- Gnarly Wayne .
Another Good Idea- BMC .
:
. . . . . . .. ...................................;
EDITOR'S NOTE
Sometimes things get a little bit eerie and out of control on our
perspectives, or worlds, if you prefer that term. Everybody has a light and
a dark side, and this is us at our absolute worst. If there are any young
children here who appreciate family-oriented articles (Hope Springs
Eternal [E]), I warn you to use netnanny or some other oppressor of free
speech.
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.
ZOMBIE RACISM QUIZ .
Gnarly Wayne .
:
. . . . . . .. ...................................;
Hollywood dictates that should a zombie ever enter your neighborhood,
you should gather some of the local militia men and proceed to blow away the
zombies with shotguns and the like. Well, what have zombies ever do to
YOU!?!? Other than killing people, they are quite satisfied with shambling
around. If you are not sure if you are a zombie racist, answer these
questions honestly.
1. A zombie is walking down the street. Do you:
a) Shoot it.
b) Punch it.
c) Yell derogatory slang. ("zomb", "zigga", "drizzay")
d) Wave hello.
2. A zombie is making a sandwich and offers you some. Do you:
a) Reject the sandwich and flee.
b) Slap the sandwich out of the zombies hand and shoot it.
c) Turn up your nose and walk the other wayne.
d) Eat it and say "yum".
3. A zombie is selling ice cream in individually wrapped packages.
You really want some. Do you:
a) Not buy any.
b) Buy some but give the zombie a dirty look.
c) Get somebody else to buy some ice cream for you.
d) Buy some, eat it, and tip the zombie.
4. A zombie wants your daughter's hand in marriage. How do you react?
a) You are outraged and threaten to disown your daughter.
b) You form an angry mob and hunt down the zombie.
c) Tempt the zombie over a bridge with a sandwich.
d) Shed some tears and accept the zombie into your family with open
arms.
5. You are making a sandwich and a zombie looks at it. Do you:
a) Throw awayne the sandwich and proceed to vomit for the next half
an hour.
b) Burn the sandwich while leering at the zombie the whole time.
c) Eat the sandwich but not offer any to the zombie.
d) Share half your sandwich with the zombie, cementing a friendship
that will last a lifetime.
6. You are standing on the ground looking up at an apartment balcony.
A zombie shambles over the edge followed closely by a sandwich.
The sandwich bounces off the zombie and lands a few feet awayne from
the zombie. Do you:
a) Implode.
b) Take the sandwich and sell it to street urchins.
c) Kick the zombie in the teeth and make fun of his clothes.
d) Feed the sandwich to the ailing zombie, thereby enabling
the zombie to have a full recovery.
7. You are the bartender at the infamous Rusty Dink bar. A priest, a
space mutant, and a zombie walk in. The priest orders moonshine, the
space mutant orders gin and tonic, and the zombie orders a sandwich.
Do you:
a) Serve the priest first.
b) Serve the mutant first.
c) Serve yourself first.
d) Serve the zombie first.
8. You spot a baby with a sandwich on it's back crawl gleefully awayne
from a pursuing zombie. Do you think:
a) "That zombie is going to eat that baby and that sandwich."
b) "Zombie's suck."
c) "I wonder what kind of mayo is on that sandwich."
d) "Aww. That zombie is playing in a playful manner with that cute
baby."
9. A speeding bus is heading right for an unaware Healie and a zombie.
You are the only one who can react in time and you can only save one.
Do you:
a) Save the zombie.
b) Ignore them both.
c) Try to save both anywayne, ensuring doom for all.
d) Save Healie.
10. A zombie eats your brains. Do you:
a) Die.
b) Become a zombie yourself.
c) Go for a drink.
d) Make a sandwich.
11. You meet a new friend at a bar. You really like him. Then you find
out he is a zombie. How do you react?:
a) Float awayne in spite.
b) Drink yourself to death.
c) Argue about sandwiches for the rest of the night.
d) Smile and think to yourself "Yeaaahhh!".
12. A zombie holds a magical key in his hand. He seems to be taunting
you with it. Do you:
a) Yell "Magical keys DO EXIST!".
b) Scream "Magical keys DO EXIST!".
c) Barf "Magical keys DO EXIST!".
d) sandwich "Magical keys DO EXIST!".
13. A Super Zombie flies out of the sky and punches you right in the place
where your sandwich is kept. Do you:
a) Sing a song about magical keys and Healie.
b) Dance about in a cool manner.
c) Grow some carrots.
d) Make a sweet potato pie and offer it as a peace offering to
Super Zombie.
Now check your answers. If any of them are (a), (b), or (c), you
are a zombie racist and a bad one at that. Either get help or become a
zombie by sacrificing yourself to an evil cleric of at least 11th level.
If you got all the questions correct, congratulations! Make yourself a
sandwich on me ... the Waynestar.
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.
ANOTHER GOOD IDEA .
by BMC :
. . . . . . .. ...................................;
Here's another good idea...
It would be pretty easy to open a cafe for monsters, because they're
not too picky. All you really would need is a dark and run-down building in
a reasonable area of town, a few good cooks, and a cheap supplier of human
brains and blood, and then you can sit back and watch the monsters pour in!
After a while, once you've built up a reasonable-sized monster
clientele, you can sell the franchise rights, and soon you'll be making a
killing off these loveable creatures. (be careful though, because they'll
probably kill you and eat you if you overcharge them by too much)
Keep in mind that this cafe idea is to be geared toward blue-collar
monsters. White-collar monsters have a more refined taste, and thus prefer
caviar and Brittany crackers over human body parts.
In closing, I would like to add that if yours is a big name in the
monster subculture, you are eligible for all kinds of perks, and even quite
possibly some underground awards (from the fans, not the major companies).
So be good to your monsters, and they'll be good to you.
I also have to throw in another fact. I am referring to the
conventional monsters (IE zombies, frankenstein, wolfmen, Blackula, etc),
not new age monsters (IE flying eyeballs that leave large trails of slime).
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___________________________________________________
|THE COMINTERN IS AVAILIABLE ON THE FOLLOWING BBS'S |
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| BRING ON THE NIGHT (306) 373-4218 |
| CLUB PARADISE (306) 978-2542 |
| THE GATEWAY THROUGH TIME (306) 373-9778 |
|___________________________________________________|
|Website http://www.sfn.saskatoon.sk.ca/~ad357 |
|Email The BoSS MC at manta1@hotmail.com |
|___________________________________________________|
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#28-08/04/98
Copyright 1998 N-Com
All content is property of The Neo-Comintern.
Unauthorized use of any part of document is prohibited. All Rights Reserved.
