Turbo Zine Issue 4

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Turbo Zine

 · 26 Apr 2019

  

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|                           turb0 'zine numba f0ur                            | 
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+-------------------------------[ z i n e ]-----------------------------------+ 
  |______( check in )______| 

  look at da spiffy dividers! you say it looks like umm yolk. guess what? 
  i got the idea from yolk. so sue me. i dont give a crap. cuz yer a 
  doody-head. 

  today is thanksgiving! the national turkey day! i just at my turkey meal, 
  which sucked, cuz i have turkey every year on this darn day! 

  can't i just have like a goose or even a pizza for my turkey day. 

 
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  |_____( can i drag )_____| 

  i wonder how long i can drag this 'zine out to this issue? 

  well we will find out later. wont we. 

 
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  |_____( da intervu )_____| 

  here is da interview wit grimjack on irc, in channel #kewlio. 

*** grimjack (~MTS95004@137.99.26.4) has joined channel #kewlio 

<_bh_> first question. 
<grimjack> sounds good to me.... 
<_bh_> why did you pick yer handle??? 

<grimjack> well, when i first started callin out, there was a comic book 
         called grimjack i liked.... so i figured cool, it sounds cool... 
         thats it.. : 
<_bh_> what groups are you in??? 
<grimjack> heh, i figured as much.. :):) right now I'm in surge... 
<grimjack> i'm sort of in anemia, but thats cause i was in suicide.... 
                     art scene over other scenes? 
<_bh_> why did you pick the art scene over other scenes? 
<grimjack> no real reason, i was a local little ansi artist, i joined a local 
         group 'cause it was the thing to do.. :) 
<grimjack> then i got my irc access and there it was.. teh ansi scene.. :) 
<_bh_> thats kewl. i've been down that road a few times. actually quite a bit. 
<grimjack> yeah, the ansi scene's pretty cool... people say its goin to hell, 
         but i like it... 
<_bh_> how old are you? and can you let the viewers of my 'zine know a lil 
     about you and your life? 
<grimjack> i'm 17, 18 in a few weeks..... i'm a freshman in college.. i go to 
         uconn... 
<grimjack> a computer science major (easy! :) and i've got a new girlfriend of 
         about 2 weeks... 
<_bh_> what do you do for fun? 
<grimjack> fun?  anything i can really.. ;):) heh, hang with my g/f, play 
         basketball if the weather lets me... 
<_bh_> that reminds me, i like this chick, but she is like already taken and 
     i'm in the situation of robert redford in indecent proposal. 
<grimjack> listen to lots of music.. concerts.... all that.... :) 
<grimjack> jsut saw king crimson this past saturday.. show rocked.... 
     sounds 
<_bh_> that sounds like me. 
<grimjack> kill the boyfriend, that's what i would do.. <g> 
<_bh_> where do you live in the country? 
<_bh_> lucky for me the bf goes to another school and she is fine as hell. <g> 
<grimjack> i'm in connecticut, southwestern ct at home and northeastern ct at 
         school.. 
<grimjack> heh, yeah, my g/f's cuter.. <g> :) 
<_bh_> is there anything special that you would like to say to the readers in 
     yer final words? 
<grimjack> ummm.... final words... hmm.. 
<_bh_> heh, well this one has some growing to do, since she is a freshman in 
     hs and i'm a junior in h.s 
<grimjack> stay in groups dammit!  loyalty!  oh yeah, and nirvana sucks! :) 
<_bh_> any advise to the readers, etc? 
<grimjack> that should get me in trouble... 
<grimjack> advise for readers... just keep drawing if you're into that... or 
         whatever you do.. stick with it... 
<grimjack> if you like it you'll get good at it.. 
<_bh_> so does that mean if i like girls, i get better at being a girl <g>... 
<grimjack> i went out with a freshman my junior year.. loooong 
         relationship.... 
<grimjack> lasted most the way through my senior year... 
        at is about it for know 
<grimjack> heh, well i like girls, and i got petter at picking them up.. close 
         enough? :) 
<_bh_> kewl. umm. why did you two break up? 
<grimjack> which time?  we broke up and got back together five times.. .:) 
are you for real. damn. 
<grimjack> in the end, it was just too f'd up for me... 
<_bh_> are you for real. damn. 
<grimjack> .. and her father pulling a shotgun on me influenced my decision.. 
<grimjack> yeah, the whole thing was f'd up... 
<grimjack> but like i stick with groups, i tend to stick with girls... <g> 
<_bh_> umm. well. that must have sucked. do you think if there wasnt any probs 
     between you and her and when you left for college, would there have 
     been anything diff about the relationship 
<grimjack> and i've left surge and came back to it twice too... 
<_bh_> heheh...girls and groups are the same for ya, eh? 
<grimjack> i wasnt' goin' out with her when i left, but i almost ended up 
         back with her in october.... 
<grimjack> decided not to 'cause of the distance thing.. 60 miles was a long 
         way.. .:) 
<grimjack> well, treat a girl right, she'll treat you right.... same with a 
         group i guess.. :) 
<grimjack> or something.. <g> 
<_bh_> damn. i guess you could say that. well, are you gonna grab the first 3 
     issue of turb0 
<grimjack> hell, if i'm in a mag it has to be good.. <g> :) 
<_bh_> i guess. maybe, if we talk long enough, you might be the entire zine 
     for issue numba 4 
<grimjack> heh, then f0ur will be the shit, huh? :):) 
<grimjack> damn, a whole mag just for me... 
<_bh_> hell jeah. 
<grimjack> grimjack and his views on life, ansi, women.... :) 
<grimjack> and how all three relate.. <g> 
* _bh_ :-|F|-[  /Msg _bh_ FDCC Send <#>  ]-|F|-: 
* _bh_ 1 |-| Turbo 'Zine Numba Uno |-| 1 File 4270b 
* _bh_ 2 |-| Turbo 'Zine Numba Two |-| 1 File 5447b 
* _bh_ 3 |-| Turbo Zine Numba Tres |-| 1 File 4189b 
<grimjack> and to think, all this in my first interview <glassy eyed look> 
         golly gee! :) 
<_bh_> grab them. there h0t! 
<_bh_> have you ever done any ascii? 
<grimjack> yeah, i used to draw ascii... but i got bored with it.... 
<grimjack> i like ansi more... i do some ascii shit for friends though..... 
                           turbo logo for the header...pretty please 
<_bh_> do you think ya could do a turbo logo for the header...pretty please 
<grimjack> a turbo logo?  sure, what the hell.. :):) an ascii ??  what, no 
         color? :) 
<_bh_> well the 'zines are all texted based like p0rk or klunk or uh y0lk 
<grimjack> ahh.... yeah, i'll get ya a logo done then.... 
<grimjack> how you want me to get it to ya anyways>? :) i can't dcc 'cause 
         college net accounts blow... 
<_bh_> umm, send me email at soul.raider@blast.neta.com or at 
     lowen@goodnet.com 
<grimjack> here that word?  college net blows... :) 
<_bh_> umm, whats yer email address? 
<grimjack> gotcha.. i'll get it to ya as soon as its done... 
<grimjack> you can mail me at mts95004@uconnvm.uconn.edu 
<grimjack> *** now taking ansi requests, email me for more info *** :) 
<grimjack> small plug... <g> 
<_bh_> okay. sounds good to me. 
<_bh_> hmm do you know of any boards that wanna be a distro for turb0 
<grimjack> its all good.. even if my account blows 'cause uconn provides 
         really bad net service... 
<grimjack> but it IS free.. :) 
<grimjack> you can try higher force, the surge whq.... 
<grimjack> can't think of the numba off the top of my head.... 
<grimjack> and its not in this computer's dialing dir.. damn...... 
<_bh_> could, but i dont like calling ld, cuz i guess you could say i'm lame. 
     actualy, i dont like spending money, jus save it 
<grimjack> yeah, i can sympathize.. i have a 60 buck fone bill... 
                800 boards that are elite? 
<_bh_> you know of any 800 boards that are elite? 
<grimjack> and i think only about 7 is data calls,,,, 
<grimjack> shit, i dont think there ARE any 8oo's left worth calling... 
                hen ld #'s show up. 
<_bh_> sheit. hehe.. i leech off my mom. she pays everything, but she gets 
     pissed when ld #'s show up. 
<grimjack> yea well they make me pay for it here.. ;):) 
<grimjack> and at school there's no one else to pay.. :) 
<_bh_> thats a bummer. jeah. that is true. umm. 
<_bh_> hehe.. thought of another question for ya? 
<grimjack> heh, yeah right.... 
<grimjack> hey, i gotta jet about now.. there's a cute girl i'm supposed to 
         call.. 
<grimjack> but ask away first.. :) 
<_bh_> umm. what do you believe is the proper way to treat a ladie (if you 
     liked her and she was yers) 
<grimjack> let me put it this way.. . 
<grimjack> if you keep a girl happy, she'll keep you happy... 
<_bh_> wow! heh...you readers, listen to that. do what the man says...<g> 
<grimjack> that means you trreat her nicely, and she'll treat you.. :) 
<grimjack> yeah, you'd be surprised how far 5 bucks worth of roses can go.. :) 
<grimjack> but thats gotta be it for me folks, 'cause i have a woman to keep 
         happy.. :) 
<_bh_> okay. well i have to jet. umm. okay. we can continue sum other time. 
<grimjack> and remember-- they're better once they're outta high school.. :) 
<grimjack> yea, if you want more interview stuff, just msg me sometime.... 
<grimjack> later.... 
<_bh_> i'll send you the zines to you on email. 
<_bh_> i found girls like the poetry stuff also. 
<grimjack> thanx dude... i'll be lookin' forward to them.... 
<_bh_> later. peace out 
<grimjack> heh, yeah, poetry works wonders too.. and if you can cook, then 
         you're set for life.. :) 

  wow! grimjack was a big help of excepting my invitation to get interviewed 
  cuz everyone else in #ansi at the time was being a dick. 

  oh well. the #ansi is starting to die. so is the scene. but all you 
  out their need to keep it goin. 

 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ 
  |____( a turkey story )____| 

  here is a special turkey story from me to you. i'm jus thinkin up as 
  i go, cuz i'm elite like that and dont forget that. grin. 

  once upon a time there was this turkey named bob (you can spell bob 
  backwards and it will be the same). anywayz, he wasnt fat at all, 
  actualy a skrony lil thang like yer dog. anywayz, the owner said he 
  needed to add sum weight. so bob da turkey at great for the next 
  seven weeks (btw, anyone see the movie - seven) until one day. 

  da owner came out of the house wit the sharpened ax. he had a big 
  grin on his face. he either was gonna kill sumthang or he jus 
  got laid by his wife, barney the dinosaur (you love me, i love you). 

  well he took the turkey to the wooden stump. he was about to kill 
  bob, when barney came out and said wait. so the owner said sure. 
  barney came closer and the owner grabbed barney and shoved barney down 
  and up'd barney a few times, then chopped off his head. 

  bob thought he got off from being beheaded, but the owner grabbed him 
  and shoved him down as he up'd him few times and the chopped off his 
  head, wit the blood oozing out of the neck, wit the head on the ground. 

  then the owners kidz came out and ... 

  well i had to stop it there, cuz it would have gotten way way to nasty 
  for you readers out there. 

  we dont wont you to loose yer meals do we. 

 
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  |_____( lameness )_____| 

  top phiv reasons you may be lame: 

  -x-phiv-x- cuz you eat chocalate covered toe jam 
  -x-f0ur-x- you have six fingerz on one hand - oh jeah, yer jus a freak! 
  -x-tres-x- cuz you dont know me 
  -x-twoo-x- cuz i dont know you 
  -x-onee-x- cuz you have more money than me and you aint givin me any 

 
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  |_____( music )_____| 

  if ya hate musik. then you plain out suck and should go hide under a 
  rock, cuz if i find ya. i'll nuke ya wit da abomb. 

 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ 
  |_____( this issue )_____| 

  why are you trying to drag this on? cuz i wanna. 

  actually, i'm waiting for my mom to get ready, cuz she is taking me to 
  her work, so i can steal top secret info. but she dont know that. so 
  keep all of that a secret or else. 

  lets see i'm currently writting on line numba 260. wow! lets see what the 
  next line will be. guess what? its line numba 270. grin. 

 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ 
  |_____( distro )_____| 

  my only distro so far is umm poo! trips kick butt board. if ya want da 
  numba for his board get all of other issues of turb0 'zine. cuz its 
  in one of those and right now i'm lazy, cuz its thanksgiving. 

 
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  |_____( should close this up )_____| 

  i guess i should really close this 'lil puppy up. shouldn't i? 

  well gues what. i'm not. grin 

 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ 
  |_____( might close this up )_____| 

  i might closet this nifty 'lil thang up soon. 

 
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ 
  |_____( greatness )_____| 

  i would like to share my greatness wit ya. so join #ansi sumtime and 
  like talk to me. or else. 

  rememba i'm mr. perfect, mr. wonderful, da all mighty one, and god. 

 
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  |_____( hehehehe - hahahaha )_____| 

  guess what i can make the topic headerz what ever i want, cuz i'm 
  editor and chief writer of this most elite zine. well maybe cuz i'm 
  the only person that writes and has any part in this zine. oh well. 

  i'm deciding to close this thang out. so have fun this nifty 'lil day 
  and get drunk or do whateva ya wanna do. peace out. 

 
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(end of da file - it was a total of 314 lines! ending at column numba 74!