How To Eat Your Shoe and Become Enlightened For Fossil Pigs Sake

Published in

· 28 Dec 2019

  

 
How To Eat Your Shoe and Become 
Enlightened For Fossil Pigs' Sake 

	- by pressed rat 
  
     
Good morning world, the birds all chirp.  
You wake up, stretch, and nasty burp.  
But this is like no other day;  
You know of course what you must say:  
"I know exactly what I'll do!  
 it's time at last I ate my shoe!"  
  
So sit yourself down at the table.  
Remove those converse, if you're able.  
Grease them up with apple butter,  
As you smear it, darkly mutter,   
"Oh tasty morsels off my feet!  
 Who knows what kind of bugs I'll meet!  
 For when I eat my yearly shoe,  
 I find the gate of Temple Shroo!"  
  
Take that first bite with a grin.  
Then stuff both of the laces in.  
Chew them well, now add some salt  
Before your stomach makes you halt;  
Now send the sole right past your tongue  
(Be careful to avoid your lungs)  
And swallow hard to keep it down,  
Speaking nonsense as you frown;  
"Delicious footwear!  Now I must  
 contact the fossil pigs I trust,  
 for sacrificing my own shoe  
 is just what they told me to do."  
  
Finish up, and lick your chops,  
Stand up, and clear the table top.  
Down the hallway to the shower,  
Enter quickly with a flower.  
Stand on head, turn water on,  
Wait until your vision's gone,  
Intone the Holy OMNIBOT!  
(By this time you are fooling NOT)  
And soon you'll see those little pigs  
all dressed up in their fossil digs  
cavorting so before your eyes  
so small you could not say their size!  

Now finally, you are collected  
For another year protected  
From the fear of SLF's,  
Read the text file, all you hefs,  
Find out what are these woeful beings,  
How to stop from them you seeings,  
Retro-fit your little life  
And ever stop the tide of strife!  
  
(c) 1990  Shawn-Da-Lay Boy Enterprises  c%o presseed rat  
  
No!  Really - you MUST read about the fossil pigs.  I'm serious.  
Look in the file dirs and download the muthas.  NOW.  Then post! 

  Distributed in part by: 

   Skeleton Crue  415-376-8060  located out of Moraga, California. 
	 !!Get on the band wagon before it RUNS YOU DOWN!! 
The very LAST bastion of Abusive Thought in all of the Suburbian West Coast... 
			      (CH&AOS) 
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