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On the Jazz - Vol 02 Issue 14

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On the Jazz
 · 1 Sep 2020


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The totally unofficial A-Team electronic mail newsletter
***** Now in it's second year of publication !! *****

Reflector submission address: onthejazz

Administrivia: Nicole Pellegrini
PLEASE use the following address for subscribe/unsubscribe
and back issue requests (do NOT send them to onthejazz!!):
*** pellegri ***
Also use that address if you wish to change your subscription status
to receive the newsletters only (or go from newsletter to news + reflector).

The A-Team Homepage:
*The A-Team On the Web:
*The A-Team Hawaii Page:

*Homes of the On the Jazz Newsletter Archives
DATE: April 9, 1996

Howdy folks!

Well, I don't have a heck of a lot to report this week, mainly because
things related to the A-Team Philly Party and the new PSV issue have been
keeping me busy, but here we go anyway...

There was a reported sighting of Mr. T on the new Dana Carvey show
last week. I missed it and haven't heard anything more about what exactly
transpired, so if anyone can supply details that would be great. I suppose
considering that this is T's second appearance on TV in recents days (the
first being on Jay Leno a few weeks back), it's safe to say that whatever
health problems he may be or had been suffering from aren't keeping him down.
But please keep an ear open for any new information as I will...

Thanx to the many people out there who have participated in the drive
to get A-Team videos released via Columbia House, we may actually be making
some real progress! Some people who have called recently reported to me that
CH *is* taking notice of our many requests, and a decision may be made soon.
The fact that this is an organzied campaign may help as well - if you call
or write in upcoming days, you may wish to mention your connection to this
fan club/mailing list to let them know how serous our interest is in this.
Once again, the address is: Columbia House, 1400 North Fruitridge Ave, P.O.
Box 1114, Terre Haute IN 47811-1114, and the phone number is 1-800-457-0866.
Keep at it, guys, and pass along any news you might get on the subject!

As mentioned earlier, this past weekend I hosted the 2nd semi-frequent
A-Team Philly Fest. Thanx to those of you who came, we had a small but fun
gathering. If you missed this one due to the holiday weekend or whatever,
take heart, I will throw another one this summer if people are interested.
So stay tuned (and if you might be interested let me know, also what dates
during July/August would definitely be preferable/impossible...)

Finally this week, last issue I gave the cost for Plans Scams & Vans 2
for shipment within the US, now I have the costs for foreign delivery. Prices
are (in US currency, which is *strongly* preferred for orders): Europe: $15.00,
Asia/Africa: $16.00, Pacific Rim: $16.50, West Hem (except Can/Mexico): $13.75,
Canada/Mexico/US: $12.50. That's with the "Onthejazz" discount.

And remember, it's open season for submissions for the next issue of "Plans
Scams and Vans," and also our special all X-Files/A-Team edition. If you need
information on guidelines, deadlines, etc. for either, email me privately. Come
on, we've had TONS of crossover and finale-movie ideas getting tossed around the
message reflector list lately, so why don't you think about actually writing
them out so other A-Team fans can enjoy them?


Yup, it's the return of the newsletter trivia question! Send me your answers
and if you're the first one in with the right answer, you'll... well, get
mentioned in the next issue and can show off what an A-Team trivia expert you

This week's question is...
> Face and Murdock both dressed up like nuns to sneak into the convent during
episode "The Only Church in Town." But in which episode did Hannibal dress
up as a cigar (and gun) toting nun? (Accurate episode description will
suffice if you don't rememebr the title.)


Now, on to part 2 of 2 of...

Smugglers' Blues
by Laura Michaels

(Note: This originaly appeared in "Our Favorite Things," Issue #4)

* * *

He told MacGyver what the jazz was like on the way to the
smugglers' office. MacGyver got a feel for the concept, but
wasn't quite sure he understood it all.
They walked into the office. Only one person, dressed
entirely in black, was present. That put the odds in their
favor. The two of them should have no trouble handling one
smuggler should anything go wrong. He waited by the door, as
Face had told him, while the lieutenant went to talk to the man.
MacGyver wasn't close enough to hear what was being said, but
Face did gesture in his direction once. He wasn't so sure he'd
want to hear what the two were talking about.
Another man walked in, saw Face, and pulled a gun. "Hey
Darth! That's one of those nuts who started shooting at us last
time," he said.
/Trouble/, thought MacGyver. He knocked the gun out of the
man's hand and a fist fight broke out between the four people in
the room. It didn't last long. Some of the men's friends heard
the noise and arrived on the scene with guns.
"I could've talked our way out if you hadn't gotten gallant
and started a fight," Face told MacGyver. He knew full well he'd
have done the same thing if he were in MacGyver's place.
The smugglers ignored the comment. "This one interrupted
our last job," the man who had pulled the gun said, "but I don't
remember the other one."
"Maybe you just didn't see him, Panthro," Darth replied.
MacGyver and Face realized they were using nicknames. It
made sense they wouldn't want to use their real names while on
business. Panthro was large, had a dark complexion, and carried
a nun chaku with him, which incidentally are illegal weapons in
certain states.
"No. I don't think he was there," another smuggler said.
"I do know this guy's with the A-Team."
Face instantly disliked this guy.
"Those mercenaries? They're trouble, Kor."
"Couldn't be that much trouble if we caught one, Herc," Kor
continued. "Besides, they're worth twenty thousand."
"Yeah, but don't you need all three to collect?" asked Herc.
"We can get all three of them," Kor replied. "We use this
one as bait. Let's leave him at the warehouse."
All of the smugglers except Darth and Herc left. They took
the lieutenant with them.
"What do we do with him?"
"I don't know, Darth. We don't even know who he's working
"Herc, he's working for this A-Team."
"Doesn't look like a mercenary to me. Let's keep him, and
let the boss decide what to do with him," Herc suggested.
"Where should we take him?"
"We've got another load going out this afternoon, right
Darth?" The smuggler nodded. "No sense taking him anyplace.
We'll lock him up in an empty room here. That way we can keep an
eye on him 'til then. The boss can tell us at the hangar what he
wants done with him."
They took MacGyver to an empty room upstairs and locked it.

* * *

Murdock saw Face being escorted out of the building and into
a car. He returned to tell the Team.
"What do we do, Hannibal?" B.A. asked.
"We follow the car and see where they take Face."
"What about MacGyver?" Murdock inquired.
"Did you see them take him anywhere?"
"No sign of him," Murdock answered.
"Then he's still inside. We can rescue him once we've got
Face back. Try not to get spotted, B.A."
B.A. ignored the last comment. They were all very
experienced in this sort of thing by now. They tracked the car
using the homing device. They stopped a block away from the
warehouse. The smugglers brought Face in and left.
"They couldn't 've done anything to Face that quick," B.A.
"They just left him there for now. They'll come back later
and try to question him. Boy, will they be surprised when he's
not there," Murdock said.
"I don't think so, Murdock. Why didn't they leave MacGyver
with him?"
"MacGyver might be in an awful lot of trouble," Murdock
replied, worried.
"I think we're the ones in trouble," Hannibal contradicted.
"So what's the plan?" B.A. asked.
"We sneak up on the place, and give any welcoming committee
a welcome they'll never forget."
The Team split up and carefully crept up on the building.
They easily made it inside and started taking out, one by one,
the smugglers who had stayed behind to ambush them. One managed
to yell out, which alerted those not yet caught by the Team of
their presence.
Face was tied and gagged. Concealed behind some nearby
crates, Kor cleverly came out of hiding, brought his gun to bear
on the lieutenant, and told the A-Team to surrender or Face would
get killed. The Team reluctantly surrendered. Hannibal could
always come up with some plan to get them out of trouble.
The smugglers began to tie up the rest of the Team.
"I'm not sure the ropes will hold this big guy," Kor said
after looking B.A. over. "Better handcuff him, Kahn."
"They've got another one," Panthro commented about Murdock's
"Just leave him with the others. We'll take care of them
all later," Kor replied.
"That was an easy twenty thousand," said Khan.
"And they won't be interrupting our jobs anymore," Kor said
as the smugglers left the warehouse.
"That's what you think," Murdock replied. He knocked a
bottle over and used a shard of glass to get his ropes off. Then
he started to work on Face's ropes. "You still have your lock
pick?" Murdock asked as soon as the lieutenant's gag was off.
"Yeah. You'd think those guys would be smart enough to
check for things like that," he answered as he rubbed his sore
Murdock went to release Hannibal. In no time at all, Face
had the cuffs off B.A., and the sergeant needed little help in
getting his ropes off.
"We should help MacGyver," Murdock reminded them. "He could
be in real trouble."
"He was fine when I left," Face told them.
B.A. had gone to a window to check outside. "We should
worry 'bout gettin' ourselves out first. Some of them smugglers
stayed behind. They're outside watchin' this place."
"Sometimes having a reputation for being good at escapes can
be a nuisance," Hannibal commented. He looked over an old,
wrecked vehicle that had been left behind in the warehouse.
"Well, B.A.?"
B.A. began to look it over too. "Can do," he answered.
"Here's the plan," Hannibal told his Team. "We get out of
here. Go back to the motel to regroup and get supplies together.
Then we go after MacGyver and shut down this smuggling operation
once and for all."
"We've got some extra guns and ammo in the van," Face
reminded them.
"Let's do it," said Hannibal.
The smugglers used the warehouse frequently, and an
accumulation of tools as well as odds and ends could be found.
The Team started fixing and armoring the broken-down, old
vehicle. They also put together makeshift cannons and as many
workable weapons as they could out of the junk that had been left
They got everything ready to crash through the doors of the
warehouse, get back to the van, and head for the motel without
being followed. The plan worked without a hitch.

* * *

MacGyver was sitting in the room waiting for the Team. "The
escape wasn't bad, but personally, I don't like guns that much,"
he said amiably.
"How'd you get here?" Face asked, worried.
"Yeah, we were gonna go rescue you," Murdock added,
"Me? I got loose an hour ago. They shouldn't leave
electric wires around an outlet. I was going to help you out,
but you seemed to be doing so well. I loved your exit from the
"That's enough of a reunion," Hannibal put in, eager to get
everyone back to business. "Let's take care of those guys."
"Not so fast," MacGyver interrupted. "We can't just go in
after them."
"Right, we need a plan," Murdock agreed. "Hannibal?"
"That's not what I mean. You don't just go in and rough up
those guys. We've got to find enough evidence and get them
arrested legally."
"See, Hannibal. He's trouble," B.A. complained, still
distrustful of MacGyver.
"Look," Face explained, "we've always done things our way.
Sure it's different, but we've never had any trouble getting the
job done."
"Yeah, Hannibal's plans always come together," Murdock
defended, "in a way."
"Let's get back to business," Hannibal reminded them.
"It won't work," MacGyver interrupted. He didn't understand
why he wanted to keep arguing with them. "You've bugged the bar
and their vehicle and you've been shooting at these people."
MacGyver continued, ignoring the surprised look he got from
Hannibal when he mentioned he'd figured out about the
surveillance devices. "How do you expect anything to hold up in
court? You do realize, the methods you're using to catch them
are illegal."
"You do realize, we're wanted men," Hannibal informed him.
"Let me explain things to you, MacGyver. Those smugglers we're
going after, they're slime walking our streets. They aren't out
there to help people. It's very likely, every minute they're
loose, the chances increase they'll get people hurt. All we do
is take them off the streets and send them to jail where they
"But the way you do it...."
"Works," Hannibal finished for him. "Maybe you and the cops
can't use such methods, but we can and do. We get evidence any
way we can, and we catch those criminals as soon as possible,
before innocent bystanders get hurt. Don't tell me the cops, who
really care about what's going on, wouldn't love to do the same
"That's just it. They don't. Sure it's hard, but we have
to work within the law to protect everyone's rights."
"You think those smugglers should be on the street?"
Hannibal asked.
"No, of course not...."
"We're not your ordinary vigilantes. We don't pick and
choose who we consider are criminals. We get the evidence and
prove they're criminals. And in case you haven't noticed, we
don't dispense our own justice. We let the law take care of it,
and decide who's innocent or guilty. We just get them the
criminals and the evidence they need to act. No one gets hurt."
"I can't argue with that." He couldn't change the way the
A-Team operated. It was unusual and difficult enough that they
should be catching criminals when they themselves were wanted.
The important thing was that no one got hurt.
"Good." Hannibal addressed everyone, "We've had enough
philosophical debates for today. Let's go get those guys."
At that, the rest of the A-Team who had been sitting around
acting bored and trying to ignore the argument got up and seemed
anxious for action.
"I should've brought my comic book," Murdock complained
about the inactivity as they left.
"Where are we going?" B.A. asked as he started the van's
"They said something about another load of drugs going out,"
MacGyver mentioned. "Their boss should be there too."
"The private airport. We've picked up quite a bit of
information about their operation these past few days," Murdock
explained to MacGyver. "Basically, they use small planes to
deliver their loads and what better place to find them than
"Sounds good," MacGyver replied. "I think I remember them
mentioning something about a hangar."
"I'm not flying," B.A. complained.
"No one's flying today, B.A.," Hannibal replied. "Not us
and not those smugglers. Step on it." The van sped off to catch
up with the Team's quarry.

* * *

As they drove, MacGyver thought over what he'd found out
about the A-Team. It was now obvious why the Team drove around
in vehicles that were so easy to spot. From what he'd seen of
their escape from the warehouse, catching them was easy, but
holding them was next to impossible. They could afford to
advertise their whereabouts like some World War II ace pilots
used to do. They seemed to enjoy the added sense of danger.
As Face had said, they were on the jazz, all of them.
Somehow, MacGyver couldn't see them ever going straight. They'd
never be able to give up their current lifestyle; they wouldn't
want to. Probably, if they were ever pardoned, they'd find
something else to get in trouble for and go right back to living
that way. They'd be too bored otherwise.

* * *

They reached the airport. They found the smugglers in a
hangar, preparing to send their next shipment. The key personnel
in the operation were there, just as Hannibal and the Team had
wanted. This time surprise was on their side. Now all they
needed was no more interruptions from the police until they had
all the loose ends taken care of.
They had offered MacGyver a gun. He didn't accept. It
didn't seem like it would have been much use anyway. There were
too many of them. MacGyver figured the only way they could
handle this situation, without getting hurt, was to divide and
The A-Team was thinking along the same lines. B.A. pointed
to some rope used for securing crates. He and Hannibal started
to set a trap with it. The rest of the Team followed their lead
and MacGyver joined in. Ten minutes later, they had all sorts of
obstacles set up to catch the smugglers. The hard part would be
getting them to walk into the traps.
Murdock walked up to the smugglers before MacGyver realized
what he was doing. He yelled, "Your momma wears army boots." He
then quickly ran off in the direction of one of the readied
traps. Some of the smugglers followed. Boxes fell down in the
opposite direction from which Murdock had run; B.A. had shoved
them. Other smugglers dispersed in that direction to
MacGyver and the A-Team busily tripped up the smugglers with
ropes, dropped crates, powder, and other objects on them, and
generally made a nuisance of themselves.
When the smugglers realized something strange was going on,
the Team quickly changed tactics. They took the criminals on in
hand-to-hand combat. B.A. was tossing smugglers around like they
had no weight at all. The others were holding their own even
though they were outnumbered. Face was having some trouble
The rest of the Team were too busy to help him out.
MacGyver got the man off Face's back by punching him hard. He
left the unconscious smuggler out of the way and placed a crate
on top of him to keep him there. Then MacGyver helped Face up.
"Thanks," the lieutenant said earnestly.
"Any time," MacGyver answered congenially.
They didn't have time to continue the conversation because
two more tough smugglers arrived on the scene. Face and MacGyver
worked together to take care of them as well.

* * *

The whole operation took about twenty minutes. At the end
of it, the smugglers were all neatly tied up and left with their
evidence for the police.
"You're pretty good in a fight, MacGyver," Face told him.
"Thanks. If I could use the phone in your van, I'll get the
police to take care of this little mess for you," he offered.
"Yeah, but just make sure we ain't around when they show
up," B.A. warned.
"Can we drive you somewhere?" Murdock offered. B.A. gave
him a look that said he wished he hadn't.
"No. I think I'll stick around 'til the police get here."
"You know, working with you wasn't too bad," Hannibal
commented. "Maybe we'll see you on another job."
"Yeah, we could get together and do this again sometime."
MacGyver thought there was a good possibility of that occurring;
after all, Los Angeles wasn't that big.
"We may just call you if we ever need help from someone who
isn't wanted, or if we need someone to talk to the cops for us,"
Hannibal added. Obviously, the colonel had decided he didn't
mind MacGyver's help after all.
"Hey, and maybe we could get together and double date," Face
suggested. He appreciated the help MacGyver had given him in the
fight and made the gesture to show he wanted to be friends. "I
know this great French restaurant on the other side of town."
"Yeah, I think I know the place," MacGyver replied. "We'll
have to get together." In the past, he must have been to some of
the same places as the A-Team, maybe even at the exact same time,
and hadn't even known it. He had the feeling he'd see them
again, especially Face, and this time he'd make sure to notice.
"Don't you love it when a plan comes together?" Hannibal
said to MacGyver, with a smile.
"Man's on the jazz again," B.A. complained, but actually
they were all on the jazz, even MacGyver. The A-Team headed for
their van so they wouldn't be around when the police arrived.
"He ain't bad for a cop," B.A. told the Team as they left. He
said it loud enough for MacGyver to overhear.

* * *

/Well/, MacGyver considered after he heard the van leave.
/Here I am with a dozen smugglers, and I can't give the A-Team
any of the credit for it./ He realized while working with the
A-Team to catch the criminals, that maybe their methods weren't
quite as different as he had liked to think. He had gotten a
very good feeling from it, too. They had a lot in common when it
came to on-the-spot improvising, and it felt great to work as a
team with them.
Maybe he had argued so much with Hannibal earlier because it
was hard to accept that these guys were on the other side of the
law, but operated in a manner so similar to his own. Well, after
the good job they'd done together, MacGyver didn't feel so bad
about it.
/Guess I'll have to figure out some way to explain this to
Pete./ He decided not to tell anyone about the way the Team
operated or that they worked with another man that no one seemed
to know about. /It shouldn't be that hard to convince the police
and the CIA that the A-Team wasn't working with these guys.
Maybe I can get Pete to pull a few strings and help them out a
little with the military./
As strange as their story about the incident in Hanoi
sounded, MacGyver was beginning to think it might just be true.
If they kept helping people out and putting away criminals, they
might get pardoned some day. /It wouldn't be bad if they could
get pardoned. They could always do some jobs for the U.S. in a
foreign country. That just might keep them out of trouble. Come
to think of it, Pete's always complaining he doesn't have enough
good operatives around. If I could just figure out a way to get
Pete to give them some of the work load, I might finally get a
well-earned vacation./

The End.


Next issue, I've got a *really* out-there story for everyone's enjoyment,
thanks to Jenna Russel, one of the original members of The A-Team
Appreciation Society in England. I think you'll all get a real kick out
of it.

Until then, keep on truckin' and stay on the jazz...

Quote of the week:

Decker: "Looks like this is it, Smith"
Hannibal: "It always looks that way, doesn't it?"
from "Incident at Crystal Lake"

<*>Jumpgate sequence initiated.<*>
"The Slinky of Destiny is making its way right on back
up to the top of the stairs." Capt. HM Murdock, The A-Team

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