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The Game Review Issue 58

eZine's profile picture
Published in 
The Game Review
 · 10 Mar 2023

                   .x#$$#x. 
`:$$$$:' The Game Review!
.x%#$$$$$$#%x. .x#$$$$#x. .x#$$$#x.
`""""$$$$""""' .S$$$$$$$$S.$$$$$$$$$Ss
$$$$.sS$Ss.$$$$ $$$$$`$$$$ $$$$$ *************
$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$',$$$$ *ESTABLISHED*
$$$$$$$$$$$ """"`$$$$ $$$$$$ ****1995*****
$$$$$$$$$ sS$Ss."$$$ $$$$$$ pn
`-------------- $$$$$$$$$$$ ------------'
$$$$$$$$'`

~VOTED #1 SCENE MAG/REVIEW BY INTERNET USERS~ (a while ago)
~TGR IS PROUD TO BE THE LONGEST RUNNING WEEKLY SCENE MAG/REVIEW, EVER!~
~~CELEBRATING OVER *3* YEARS IN THE SCENE~~

.a$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&$$$$$a.
$$' . `$$' `$$ ' `$$' s `$$' s `$$
$' $ $$ $ $$ a a $$ $ $$ $ $$ ISSUE #58
$ $ssss$$ $ $$ $ $ $$ $ $$ $ssss$$
$ o o$ $$ $ $ $$ sssss$$ssss. $$ 07/12/98
$. $ $$ $ $$ $ $ $$ $ $$ $ $$
$$. $ ,$$ $ $$ $ $ $$. $ ,$$. $ ,$$
`$&@%o%@&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&@%o%@&$$$$&@%o%@&hd'

"All the games that are fit to print...and some that aren't."

Un-Realistic: "I have never played a game I didn't like." -Stupid Idiot
Realistic : "This game sucks!" -Ionizer

____________
News Updates
============ *************************
-Currently, you can use * WWW.THEGAMEREVIEW.COM * to access the web page,
*************************
however, I suggest that you bookmark what actually loads up
(www.monmouth.com/~jionin) b/c it aint definite how long the other will last.

-TGR #59 will most likely be delayed 2 weeks! Sorry for this, but all my
sites are temporarily down + I have an EXAM + I'm throwing a huge ass party.

-Thanks to Glamous for helping TGR out in a time of need.

============================================
HOW TO GET THIS MAGAZINE ON A REGULAR BASIS:
============================================
TGR is released on Sundays, at approximately 8pm (EST). It can be obtained
in 2 different ways. The first method obviously being the easiest and best:

*****************
***NEW ADDRESS*** WWW.THEGAMEREVIEW.COM
***************** *OR*
#1 TGR Web Page: http://www.monmouth.com/~jionin
-------------------------------
(Over 87,000 Served) (Note: Contains all issues and gets them first)

#2 Through irc, you can dcc from me the newest issue only, simply type:
/msg ionizer xdcc send #1

- * - * - * - * - *
* - * - * - * - * -

GAME REVIEWS, RATINGS, UN-BIASED OPINIONS, HELP/TIPS FOR INSTALLING GAMES!
[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

-Rating scale:
(0-19)/100 = In a nutshell, it sucked!
(20-39)/100 = Still crap but slightly better.
(40-49)/100 = Possibly worth downloading.
(50-69)/100 = Pretty decent game. Might want to check it out.
(70-79)/100 = Worth the download if you like that type.
(80-89)/100 = Very good, 9 outta 10 its worth the download.
(90-99)/100 = Excellent game, a MUST download.
100/100 = HOLY SHIT I'VE NEVER SEEN A BETTER GAME!

RATINGS are based on the game idea, graphics, sound, playability, ingenuity,
versatility, and a lot of other words ending in `ity'. These games are based
on what happens on MY COMPUTER ONLY, unless stated otherwise. I always first
follow .nfo directions, and if those don't work or are not available, I then
try other ways. So just b/c it doesn't work for me, doesn't mean it won't
work for you.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-<*><*> THE GAME REVIEW (c) Ionizer <*><*>-
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
=============================================
[[ BigJig v.3.0 (c) Panksnet ]] [[ o1 Disk ]]
=============================================
-Filename: BJIG3.ZIP

Damn, I was hoping this would have something to do with Will Smith! Then me
and the game could get jiggy with it. Well we did, but jiggy meant I took a
picture and ripped it a part into coincidentally fitting pieces and then had
to put it all back together. I think it's sometimes referred to as a way to
kill time...err I mean a jigsaw puzzle. Well that's what it is, there's only
3 of them. But who cares? You're a loser if you fit more than 2 pieces tog-
ether. This game sucks more than Monica Lewinsky.
RATING: 32/100

Patience v2.1 (c)S.Flisakowski Win95NT
[01/01]__/\______/\______/\\_____
____| | _ ˝| ____//__
|o | ___| ___ |_ |. o|_
| __ \_ ) __) |; __))
_| i_____/____i |___________)
\\_____I ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ I_____/ ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ
[07/06/98] KiCK ASS CRACKiNG 1998
ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ
-Filename: KACPAT21.ZIP

Ok, I'm limiting the # of card games I review each week. It will never
exceed 3 unless I feel necessary. This is a stupid, boring, lame, shitty,
crappy, for losers only, ugly, bi-sexual, dumb...did i mention boring?, card
game (40 solitaire games). Don't bother, don't even read this review anymore.
I told you, stop reading this you dumb fuck. It sucks, is that what you
wanted to hear huh? Stop reading damnit! OK FINE, YOU PUSHED ME TO THE
LIMIT, and now I have to tell you, the game is a homosexual! NOW YOU KNOW.
RATING: 26/100

_____ _____ ____ _____ ________________
\_ | \ \/ / _ /__\_ \_/ _ \
| _ \_ \ _/ \ \ __/___/ | / /
|___| |____|___/ /_\ \___|_______/
::d|___|::::::.\___/.:.\___\::::::::::
Premier Manager 98 (c) Gremlin [xx/31]
-Filenames: HBD-PM??.ZIP

OH GREAT. So nice of Hybrid to bring us yet another Soccer Manager (I pers-
onally think they are making the games, b/c who the hell actually buys them?
There's no way Gremlin can make money off this crap) Actually, if anyone out
there actually buys/plays this stuff, please email me, I'd like to see how
sane you are (Europeans need not write). You're basic soccer manager, but
not so `basic'. Has all the options, money...and uh stuff. Nice menus tho.
I liked the music too, it was nice. But the fun factor lacks.
RATING: 67/100

----[TTTTTTuRBO NUTTERS KiWi BASTARRdSSssssss]----
are happy to bring ya lamahas

GooD WiLLiE HUNTiNG by NViSION DESiGN
which is 1 lame disk
[k1/k1]

FEEEL ThE PoWAH, JoIN #KiWi
------------------------------------------[D]-----
-Filename: KIWIWILLIE.ZIP

Uhh, it didn't work, plain and simple? Crashed w95 for me. I do appreciate
the "notice" and acknowledgment of TGR's GOTW in the .nfo however.
RATING: NA/100

Rampage World Tour *STORE FINAL* (c) Midway [xx/47]
______ /| ___ /\______ /\______
/ \/ | / _ \ / _____/ _____>1
/ |_ / |/ | \\____ \ \____ \ 9
< | < / | / | \/ | \ 9
\ _____\_<____|___\_____ /\_____ / 8
+=\/======================\/====hh!\/==+
-Filenames: CLSRPF??.ZIP

Well here is the store final, and it was very proffesional of Class to admit
to their original fault of releasing the beta. Here is the review from issue
#57, as it plays the same as it did before (oh and that crash I talked about
when playing multiplayer and one player stops, seems to have been fixed):
"The old classic Rampage returns to the PC. However, it's got a few add-
itions to it now. The people and stuff look more cartoonish, the characters
look more 3D. Remember how there was like the stuff to eat in the build-
ings? Well now there's LOTS of different things to eat, and throwup. And
now they throwup when eating something bad (I wish they shit too, be cool).
For you idiots who don't know what Rampage is, you have 3 monsters (oh and
you can play all 3 at once now) and basically you're given a 2d screen w/
buildings and people and you eat the people and destroy the buildings by
punching and kicking. There's lots of levels that each have their own
uniqueness or new kind of character or something, but it still can get bor-
ing playing by yourself, so make sure you play with at least 2 or 3 ppl.
Nice conversion to the PC, but it woulda been cooler if they did a 3D vers-
ion where you kinda look down over it like a map, but closeup, but oh well!
Nice game, but nothing especially hot.
RATING: 71/100"

Juggernaut Corps: First Assault [xx/37]
______ /| ___ /\______ /\______
/ \/ | / _ \ / _____/ _____>1
/ |_ / |/ | \\____ \ \____ \ 9
< | < / | / | \/ | \ 9
\ _____\_<____|___\_____ /\_____ / 8
+=\/======================\/====hh!\/==+
-Filenames: CLSJCF??.ZIP

What I don't understand is how they used to fit games like this on 7 disks
and now it's 37 disks. Your usual ship on the screen, rotate it left right
or go forward and back and there's other boring characters on the screen to
blowup, like rocks and other ships. The layout is you see everything on the
board. The voice that says "Accessing" in this game is horrible, sounds like
they recorded it and clicked the mic off at the end of it. Overall, a pretty
lame and boring game, and I'd reccommend it to all of the people I hate!
Only thing I didn't understand is how the hell Class could call this a 3D
shooter in the nfo?
RATING: 45/100

SPEEDY ZONE (c) DIGITAL POINT [XX/10]
⁄ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒø
flflflfl€€‹ flflflfl€€€ flflflfl€€€ ∞ ∞±≤ ∞±≤ ∞±≤ ∞±≤
∞±≤ €€€ ∞±≤ flflfl ∞±≤ flflfl ± ±≤€ ±≤€ ±≤€ ±≤€
±≤€fl€€‹ ±≤€flfl ±≤€fl ∞±≤ ‹‹‹ € ≤€€ ‹€€fl≤€‹
≤€€ €€€ ≤€€ €€€ ≤€€ ±≤€ €€€ € €€€ €€€ €€€
€€€ flflfl flflflflflflfl flflfl flflflflflflfl flflflflfl flflfl €€€
flflflflflflflflflflflfl flfl fl[07/08/98]fl flfl flflflflflflflflflflfl
¿sL!<sac>ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒŸ
Fun, Loyalty, Friend. From Now Till The End
-Filenames: RLXSPZ??.ZIP

Wow, look who it is, Reflux, back on the scene. Too bad they didn't make a
comeback with a good game. There was a lot about this "3dfx" racing game
that just bugged me. For instance #1, you run head on into an ambulance
during the race and you fet an extra 15 points?!?! WTF? Secondly, the cars
seemed like half the size they should be in proportion to the road. And it
didn't feel like I was going as fast as it said. Plus the graphics look a
little reminiscent of Outrun in the arcades, even though it said it was 3dfx
in the nfo. I dunno, you can try it for yourself, but it just wasn't good,
seemed too home-made like.
RATING: 46/100

Trophy Whitetail 3D (c) ManMachine [XX/1o]
⁄ƒƒƒ €€€ ‹‹‹ ‹‹‹ ∞±≤ ‹‹‹ flflflfl€€‹ flflflfl€€‹ø
≥ ‹€‹€€€ flflfl €€€ ±≤€ flflfl ≤±∞ €€€ ∞±≤ ≤€€≥
≥€€€ ≤€€ ≤±∞ €€≤ ≤€€ ∞±≤ €≤± ≤€€ ±≤€flflfl ≥
:€€≤ ±≤€ €≤± €€≤ €€€ ±≤€ €€≤ ≤€€ ≤€€ ∞±≤:
≥€€≤ ∞±≤ €€≤ €€€ €€€ ≤€€ €€€ ≤€€ €€€ ±≤€≥
≥fl€€‹‹‹‹‹€€€ fl€‹€fl €€€ €€€ €€€ €€€‹≤€fl≥
¿sL!(sac)ƒƒƒƒƒƒ <o7.o8.98> ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒŸ
-Filenames: DVNTRP??.ZIP

Well the only deer I was able to kill were the ones that I would see at the
very beginning and shoot. You know what was WEIRD AS HELL? I saw a bird in
the sky and I shot it and it blew up! I know what your thinking, "You fuck-
ing moron, it was probably a plane." But it wasn't cuz it flapped it's wings
and stuff. Anyway I thought that was kinda freaky, I expected it to like
CAW and drop, but instead I get this explosion. Anyway the game gfx are very
very very grainy, but maybe it was meant to be that way cuz your mostly
around grass and trees. The different between this and other animal hunting
games is that you actually move in all 4 directions, forward, back, left and
right, rather than just left and right, but the gfx were still a hinderance
to the gameplay. Anyway, everyone please try this and kill a deer for me b/c
I hate deer ever since one decided to run into the side of my car (yes it
actually ran into the side of my car, and not me into it, and then it made a
hole and ran away). J/k about actually downloading it though.
RATING: 50/100

EVEL KNIEVEL (c) PANTERA ENTERTAINMENT [XX/45]
⁄ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒø
flflflfl€€‹ flflflfl€€€ flflflfl€€€ ∞ ∞±≤ ∞±≤ ∞±≤ ∞±≤
∞±≤ €€€ ∞±≤ flflfl ∞±≤ flflfl ± ±≤€ ±≤€ ±≤€ ±≤€
±≤€fl€€‹ ±≤€flfl ±≤€fl ∞±≤ ‹‹‹ € ≤€€ ‹€€fl≤€‹
≤€€ €€€ ≤€€ €€€ ≤€€ ±≤€ €€€ € €€€ €€€ €€€
€€€ flflfl flflflflflflfl flflfl flflflflflflfl flflflflfl flflfl €€€
flflflflflflflflflflflfl flfl fl[06/08/98]fl flfl flflflflflflflflflflfl
¿sL!<sac>ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒŸ
Fun, Loyalty, Friend. From Now Till The End
-Filenames: RLXEVK??.ZIP

Well here was a nice change of pace game. You play the role of, guess who...
no, not Howard the Duck, Evel Knievel. Basically, I guess you kinda live his
life and start by doing little things on a dirt road, and breaking new jump
records and going faster and doing more tricks and more and more. And as you
go on you get to go to fancier places. The graphics are decently good, but
not exceptionnaly spectacular considering there is only 4 different scenes.
The play can get frustrating if you don't manage to do well at first. A hint
for you, every new record jump your supposed to go: (a) you have to land on
the second platform in order to not crash (b) each one is about an increment
of 5-8 mph more than the last one, give or take 2 mph. If you got nothing
better to do, this might keep you busy for 10-15 mins unless you get stuck
early on. Nice idea, but lacks a lot in flexibility. I personally like to
go way to fast and try to crash hard into something, but you could end up
flying off the board and locking up your pc.
PS: Don't get the Divine crack, all it does is replace the cd checks back
into the game, an angry attack at reflux. Make sure to get the RLX one.
RATING: 65/100

SS:SQUAD COMMANDER (c) DREAMWORKS Int. [XX/67]
⁄ƒƒƒ €€€ ‹‹‹ ‹‹‹ ∞±≤ ‹‹‹ flflflfl€€‹ flflflfl€€‹ø
≥ ‹€‹€€€ flflfl €€€ ±≤€ flflfl ≤±∞ €€€ ∞±≤ ≤€€≥
≥€€€ ≤€€ ≤±∞ €€≤ ≤€€ ∞±≤ €≤± ≤€€ ±≤€flflfl ≥
:€€≤ ±≤€ €≤± €€≤ €€€ ±≤€ €€≤ ≤€€ ≤€€ ∞±≤:
≥€€≤ ∞±≤ €€≤ €€€ €€€ ≤€€ €€€ ≤€€ €€€ ±≤€≥
≥fl€€‹‹‹‹‹€€€ fl€‹€fl €€€ €€€ €€€ €€€‹≤€fl≥
¿sL!(sac)ƒƒƒƒƒƒ <07.08.98> ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒŸ
-Filenames: DVNSMS??.ZIP

Heeeeeey, looky looky here, finally an interesting RTS game. Lemme see if I
could SUM it up for you, no pun intended: Background of MicroMachines +
GI Joe looking figures = Small Soldiers: Squad Commander. And it's nice too,
but it's more aimed at the little kids. You basically have certain missions,
der, and you gotta accomplish them by taking the action figures out of the
toy box and direct them to shoot at the right guys and activate stuff and all
that junk. You move along (I guess in the same way as the movie?) as you
move away from the house into the open. You get some nice closeup action,
but it also leaves you with a limited viewing range which at times can be
annoying. However, this one can go either way, most people will find it too
baby-ish, but some might find it entertaining. The first 5 minutes were nice
but it grew boring quickly. Still, if you got a 12 year old brother, be a
nice bro/sis and get it for him.
RATING: 76/100

SWAT 2 (c) Sierra On-Line [xx/50]
______ /| ___ /\______ /\______
/ \/ | / _ \ / _____/ _____>1
/ |_ / |/ | \\____ \ \____ \ 9
< | < / | / | \/ | \ 9
\ _____\_<____|___\_____ /\_____ / 8
+=\/======================\/====hh!\/==+
-Filenames: CLSSW2??.ZIP

The idea = great. The company to do it = perfect. The outcome = not so hot.
This game has excellent concept, especially when playing the terrorist, and
the abilities to hold people hostage and all kinds of stuff, like use a mic
to negotiate and to set plans and then initiate them, all great. But in the
end, the game falls through. It's too damn hard. There's way too many opt-
ions to play with and you gotta watch your guys step by step or else out of
nowhere you'll be shot down by a cop/bad guy that you couldn't see a second
ago. If only they made it more user friendly and a little closer up on the
action. Unless you got hours upon hours to learn how to become a pro at this
you won't like it, b/c it's as hard as an old man's prick on Viagra. There
is speech detailing your missions in the beginning and stuff, and there is
some music, the gfx are typical for an "RTS-like" game. Quality is there,
but it's as user friendly as a manual for building a rocket ship.
RATING: 77/100

21 Run Game Suite 3.0 [xx/01]
___ ___ ___ ____ __ _____ __ _____
/ / / / / \ / \ / \
/ / _ / / / /\ / / \ / /_/ /
/ \/ / / / /__\ / / __ / /__ /
\ __ / / / / /\ \ / /
\_/__\__/_/__/____/__/__\__/__/ 98
-Filenames: WRPRUN30.ZIP

Warning! Warning! Approaching maximum # of card games to review. In a nut
shell or a pistachio shell, buncha shitty card games dealing with blackjack.
RATING: 38/100

WARGAMES (c) MGM INTERACTIVE [XX/65]
‹€€fl€€‹ fi€‹ €‹
fi€€› fi€€› fl flfl flfl flflflflfi€≤›≤€flflfl flflfl fl fl
fi€€› fi€€›€€‹fl€fl€€‹fl€€‹fi€flfi€≤›‹ fi€fl€€‹fl‹€€‹
fi€€›‹€€fl fi≤€›› €€≤ fi€€›› fi€€›€€ › fi€€›€ €€›
fi€€› ‹€€fl‹€€›› ‹‹‹fl‹€€› fi€€›€€› fi€€›€ fi€€
fi€€›fi€€› fi€≤››fi€€› fi€≤›› fi€≤›€≤›› fi€≤›€ fi€≤
fi€€› fl€€‹€fl€›€‹fl€€‹€fl€›€‹€€fl‹€€›€‹fi€≤›fl €€≤
‹‹‹ fi€€›-bd!
fl€€€‹€€€
flflflflfl
-Filenames: PDMWG-??.ZIP

Ok, I know what you're thinking, Ionizer's reviewing another RTS and he's
going to rip it apart, right? NO. WOW. This game is excellent. First off
this is far from your normal RTS b/c the graphics are beautiful and more 3d
like than any other (except Robo Rumble) I've seen before. Secondly, other
than movies, everything is included, speech for missions, etc (although it
could use some music). All in all it's a beautiful RTS, a definite get for
anyone who likes strategy games like this and even worth looking at if you
don't. It has a zoom in feature <included> that let's you pan in and out,
so you can have your own preference as to how close up your guys are. The
only downside to this was the guys kinda moved a little slow, but maybe when
you get a lot of guys going in the game, you don't tend to notice that too
much. The best part is when you load up and at the main menu, you hear that
old famous computerized voice, "Would you like to play a game?" (from the
movie Wargames). Definitely check this one out.
RATING: 84/100

‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹
fi≤€›fi≤€ fi≤€WZ!fi≤€€€›fi≤€€€€›fi≤€›fi≤€€€€1
fi≤€›fi≤€ fi≤€ fi≤€fi≤›fi≤€›≤€›fi≤€›fi≤€fi≤€9
fi≤€›fi≤€fi≤‹fi≤€fi≤‹fi≤€fi≤›fi≤€›≤€›fi≤€›fi≤€fi≤€9
fi≤€›fi≤€fi≤›fi≤€fi≤›fi≤€fi≤›fi≤€›≤€›fi≤€›fi≤€fi≤€8
fi≤€›fi≤€fi≤›fi≤€fi≤›fi≤€fi≤›fi≤€›‹‹‹fi≤€›fi≤€ flfl
fi≤€›fi≤€fi≤›fi≤€fi≤›fi≤€fi≤›fi≤€›≤€›fi≤€›fi≤€fi≤€1
fi≤€›fi≤€fi≤›fi≤€fi≤›fi≤€fi≤›fi≤€›≤€›fi≤€›fi≤€fi≤€9
fi≤€›fi≤€fi≤›fi≤€fi≤›fi≤€fi≤›fi≤€›≤€›fi≤€›fi≤€fi≤€9
fi≤€›fi≤€€€›fi≤€€€›fi≤€€€›fi≤€€€€›fi≤€›fi≤€€€€8
flflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflfl€›flflflflflflflflflflfl
flflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflfl flflfl fl › fl flfl flflflfl
Amazing Poker Squares v1.1 07/10/1998
(c) Ultisoft 1998 Disk[xx/o1]
-Filename: ILLAPS11.ZIP

Cheezy card game where you have 6 rows w/ 5 slots and you pull cards off one
by one and try to get 6 good hands and stuff going up and down and left and
right. Annoying music in the background, stupid Ultisoft company.
RATING: 39/100

⁄= W == a === r === r === i === o === r ===ø
| |
| CLASH *ENGLISH VERSION* |
| (c) Leryx Longsoft, 1998 [XX/40] |
| A WARRIOR Release, 07-10-98 |
| |
¿= R == e === l === e === a === s === e ===Ÿ
-Filenames: WARCLA??.ZIP

A turn based strategy game, not that great, in fact it's not good at all.
Gfx are decent, usual overhead view. Was very boring, not even much to say
about it. I don't see why you'd anyone would want to get this though.
RATING: 49/100

⁄= W == a === r === r === i === o === r ===ø
| |
| Of Light and Darkness, The Prophecy |
| (c) Interplay 1998 [xx/74] |
| A WARRIOR Release, 07-11-98 |
| |
¿= R == e === l === e === a === s === e ===Ÿ
-Filenames: WARLAD??.ZIP

What a messed up game! It's some kinda adventure game, but it's really
freaky, and probably best if only psychotic people or those on drugs to play
this one. I bet if you play it late at night by yourself in a dark room you
will freak out and stuff. Just because it's so odd and you don't know what
to do. The game was raped badly and I think movies are ripped that you kinda
need to help guide you through the game. Don't bother with this, you won't
be able to figure it out, fucking freak game.
RATING: 54/100

Wrekin Crew (c) Telstar Studios [x/5]
_____ _____ ____ _____ ________________
\_ | \ \/ / _ /__\_ \_/ _ \
| _ \_ \ _/ \ \ __/___/ | / /
|___| |____|___/ /_\ \___|_______/
::d|___|::::::.\___/.:.\___\::::::::::
-Filenames: HBD-WC??.ZIP

Hmmm, what this game lacks it attempts to make up for in other ways. This is
a racing game where although your confined to a course and road, you're not
confined by laws. You can pick up weapons and do all kinds of stuff. The
game is cool and the detail to the courses is high, stuff all around, but the
graphics are pretty horrible in 640X mode. I mean for 5 disks, it's not that
bad, but if they coulda just worked on making the graphics less grainy and
more VGA like, it woulda been a much better game. Also the turns come pretty
quick so pay attention. Get it if your bored, might provide an hour of
entertainment, but I warned you, the graphics suck.
RATING: 61/100

==================================================================
Fisherman's Warmwater Challenge v1.0 (c) Jacobson Software [xx/02]
(it's only 1 disk they lie ^^)
==================================================================
-Filenames: DKFWWC10.ZIP

This game stinks, like rotten fish. Oh, woops my bad, you're mom had her
legs open. But this game stills sucks. Bad gameplay, boring graphics, bad
sfx, overall bad. Blah blah blah, suck suck suck, goodbye.
RATING: 33/100

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
<*> THE GAME OF THE WEEK <*>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Close one, but obviously this week's GOTW goes to PARADIGM for there nice
release of a great new RTS game, WARGAMES. A definite must for any RTS fan
and even worth checking out for non-rts fans.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
<*> CORRECTIONS <*>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Hmm last week's correction was pretty dumb, I kinda forgot to finish it.
Therefore I will correct my correction section, hey that rhymes w/ erection.
-Nothing to correct.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
<*> LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO <*>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS MAGAZINE IN NO WAY WHATSOEVER, CONDONES THE PIRATING, STEALING, OR ANY
OTHER ILLEGAL MEANS OF OBTAINING SOFTWARE. I AM IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR
YOUR ACTIONS AS A RESULT OF READING THIS MAGAZINE, NOR HAVE I DONE ANYTHING
ILLEGAL TO OBTAIN THE REVIEWED GAMES. IF YOU LIKE HOW THE REVIEW OF A GAME
SOUNDS THEN BY ALL MEANS PURCHASE IT AND SUPPORT THE SOFTWARE COMPANY.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
<*> CLOSINGS <*>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Hope you found this weeks reviews helpful, please feel free to write and
say anything you want, I even welcome hate mail!

-Ionizer [THE GAME REVIEWer]
Comments/Complaints send to jionin@monmouth.com (NO GAME REQUESTS)

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Copyright 1995,1996,1997,1998 Ionizer Inc. #167A939

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