Mending a Broken Heart
Yay, my 3rd #FanFiction in about ... 3 weeks! I'm on a roll. ^^ This time around, though, it's a Tasuki&Chichiri one. It has a bit of Hotohori&Nuriko, though, and deals with a broken relationship between Nuriko and Tasuki. I apologize in advance if anyone's a bit OOC. ^^;;;
[Disclaimers: Fushigi Yuugi is the property of Watase Yuu. None of the characters belong to me. This is a yaoi story, meaning it involves men in love with other men. If that offends you or isn't your speed, I highly suggest closing this window.
Otherwise, enjoy! ^_^]
Mending a Broken Heart
by Sara Jaye
"I...don't think we should see each other anymore."
"What?!" Tasuki had not been prepared for that at all. He'd know what his lover wanted to discuss with him was serious, but this? "What do you mean?" he asked.
"I...this just isn't working out and...we should see other people," Nuriko sighed. He hated to do this, he knew how important the relationship was to Tasuki. But as much as he cared about the bandit, he just couldn't love him the way Tasuki wanted him to.
"So you're just breaking up with me, just like that?" Tasuki looked down, his eyes tearing.
"Well...I just don't love you in a romantic way," Nuriko mumbled.
"Then why the hell did you even date me to begin with?"
"I...I thought I could love you, and you were always so kind to me even
if we did argue a lot. And...I figured I'd never have a chance with Hotohori-sama anyway, so-"
"I was just a replacement, then?!" Tasuki growled.
"No! I...I kind of gave up on him for awhile and wanted to try and love someone else. You weren't a replacement...more like comfort," Nuriko explained.
"I see. Well, if I was so damn comforting then why the hell are you breaking up with me?!"
"Well..."
"There's someone else, isn't there? Who is it? I knew it was someone else, that's always the case," Tasuki accused. Nuriko looked down, then slowly nodded his head.
"I'm sorry...Hotohori-sama came in before and...he was pretty upset about my dating you. He...told me he never realized he was being so foolish obsessing over Miaka, and...he loves me. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of crawling back into his arms, but...I can't pretend I don't love him," he said. "I'm so sorry, Tasuki-san, I didn't know this would happen..."
"So you used me!" Tasuki couldn't believe that he was hearing. "You just wanted to make Hotohori jealous, didn't you? The whole time!"
"Tasuki, it's not like that, I swear, you have to believe me!" Nuriko pleasded. "I'd never hurt you intentionally!"
"So now you have the man of your dreams, and all ti took was using someone who DOES love you!" Tasuki glared at the violet-haired seishi. "Now you and your one-and-only are so happy together and where does that leave me? Alone. Completely alone, as usual! You know how much that HURTS?!"
"Tasuki, I'm sorry!"
"Sorry aint gonna do anything. It's not gonna erase the damage you've done, you bastard. I may be a trash-talking street urchin, but I have a heart too! Oh, you already knew I had one since you just drop-kicked it across the room! I hope you're happy!"
"Tasuki...I-I know you're hurt that the relationship has to end this way...I never wanted to hurt you, you've got to believe me! I still care about you," Nuriko said, trying not to cry.
"Like hell you do!"
"I'm sorry things didn't work out the way you wanted, but you are still important to me...I still want to be friends," Nuriko mumbled.
Tasuki nearly fell over.
"FRIENDS?! You want to be friends?! After what you just put me through how dare you even suggest that! I thought you were different, that you actually gave a damn about me! I can't believe I thought I loved you!" he screamed.
"I'm sorry!" Nuriko cried.
"Fuck you!" Tasuki stepped forward and slapped Nuriko hard across the cheek. "I hate you, Nuriko, and if I never see you again it won't be soon enough! Thanks for nothing! I hope you and the mirror-freak are very happy together!" With that, he stormed from the room, tears burning in his eyes, leaving Nuriko holding his injured cheek and crying.
"I...didn't know he'd take it so badly..." Nuriko choked. At that moment, Hotohori walked into the room.
"So...how did he take it?" he asked, then noticed the mark on Nuriko's tear-stained cheek. "Why did I even ask when I know the answer?" he sighed, wrapping his arms around Nuriko. "What happened?"
"He hates me. I-I've totaled our friendship, Hotohori-sama," Nuriko sobbed, burying his face against the emperor's robes.
"Oh, Nuri-chan...I'm so sorry," Hotohori murmured, holding Nuriko close. "I mean, I figured he would be upset, but...I-I'm sure he doesn't really hate you, though. He was probably just blowing off some steam and once he's had time to calm down, he'll be just as eager to work this out as you are."
Just then, there was the sound of a door slamming followed by muffled sobs and cursing.
"Oh not..." Hotohori sighed. Nuriko let out a long, shuddering sigh of his own as his tears fell faster.'
"Fucking lousy good-for-nothing crossdressing bitch!" Tasuki cursed as he flung himself onto the bed. "I hope I never see him again!" He buried his face in the pillow, trying to muffle his sobs. Unfortunately, it was only slightly more effective than his sleeve has been. Not 5 minutes after he'd slammed the door, he heard someone knocking.
"Go away!" he shouted.
"Are you all right, Gen-chan? I heard the door slam and you yelling no da...what's wrong?" the person asked.
Chichiri. 'I know that "no da" anywhere,' Tasuki thought. "I'm fine, never felt better, leave me alone," he grumbled.
Outside in the hall, Chichiri frowned worriedly. "You don't sound fine no da..." he said. "I'm coming in whether you want me to or not."
'Damn it, why did I even answer?' Tasuki mentally kicked himself. 'I don't want to see anyone right now.'
Chichiri closed the bedroom door behind him and sat down at the foot of the bed. "So, what happened? I've never see you so upset before, no da, I..." He trailed off as he noticed Tasuki's shoulders shaking. "You...you're crying...it must have been really bad, no da...is it Nuriko? Did you have a fight?" Tasuki only sobbed harder. "I thought so," Chichiri sighed.
"It's over, Chichiri. He found someone else," Tasuki mumbled.
"I see...I'm sorry, no da...you want to talk about it?" Chichiri offered.
"No. Just leave me alone." Tasuki buried his face against the pillow, tears soaking the fabric.
"All right then...if you want to talk about it, though, i'll be here no da," Chichiri said.
"He used me, Chichiri," Tasuki suddenly blurted out. "H-He just wanted to make Hotohori jealous...h-he didn't love me, I-I was just a temporary replacement!" Chichiri sighed and rested his hand on the bandit's shoulder, only for Tasuki to sit up and fling himself into the older man's arms.
"Just let it all out," Chichiri whispered soothingly, rocking back and forth slightly as he held the redhead in his arms.
"I thought he actually cared about me, then the second Hotohori waltzes in and bitches, he drops me like an empty beer bottle. How would he do this to me after I loved him so much?" Tasuki sobbed. "I'm such an idiot. Of course he'd run back into the arms of Mr. High-and-Mighty. What made me stupid enough to think he could love me?"
"I know...he's very important to you no da," Chichiri whispered.
"Was. I never want to see that crossdressing idiot again. I can't believe I thought I loved him. I'm such a baka." Tasuki felt his anger rising again. "I hope he and that mirror-crazed bastard are happy together. They deserve each other."
"I'm sure Nuriki wasn't trying to hurt you. He probably feels terrible about this no da," Chichiri said as he held his companion closer.
"Like hell he does! He and his one and only are probably making out like there's no tomorrow. He never gave a fuck about me," Tasuki growled. "I-I'll never love again...s'not worth anything."
"You...really are broken up about this no da," Chichiri sighed. Tasuki lifted his head slightly, looking up at him with puffy, tear-stained eyes.
"It hurts," he said in a small voice.
"Love often does, Gen-chan."
Gen-chan...the only other person who called him that was Kouji...'And... HIM...' "Does it ever stop?" Tasuki asked tearfully.
"It will eventually hurt less, but a broken heart can never truly be cured. You never forget your first love," Chichiri said solemnly.
"Have...you ever had your heart broken before, Chichiri-san?" Tasuki asked.
"Not in the same way you did, but I have lost someone I loved," the monk answered, almost mournfully.
"Wow...I-I'm sorry to hear that...do you still miss them?" Tasuki asked.
"Very much. I still think about her every day," Chichiri answered sadly.
"Oh...gomen nasai, I didn't mean to bring up the memory," the redhead mumbled.
"Daijoubo no da...right now I'm more concerned about you, Gen-chan," Chichiri said, gently brushing away the younger man's tears. It felt good, just holding Tasuki this way. He never mentioned it or even thought about it (Or at least tried not to), but he had some feelings for the bandit and actually had envied Nuriko a little. Tasuki found himself leaning his cheek into Chichiri's hand.
"Thanks, Chichiri-sama," he whispered, then blinked. 'Sama? Where did that come from?' he wondered. He had always admired and held repsect for Chichiri-after all, only he could still show compassion even after Tasuki mouthed off. 'But is this more than just mere respect?' No, he couldn't have feelings for anyone else. He'd sworn never to love again. Nuriko had hurt him too much. Still...'It feels so damn GOOD to be in his arms!' Tasuki thought, snuggling closer as his tears slowly began to stop.
"Feeling any better?" Chichiri asked.
"I dunno...how long does it normally take for the pain to ease up? Can you at least give me some sort of estimate?" Tasuki sighed.
"Gomen ne, Gen-chan. There's no predicting how long it takes. I wish there was, though. I hate to see you hurting so much," Chichiri whispered, gently stroking Tasuki's hair. "I can promise, though, that I'll be here for you as long as it takes, even longer. I'll always stand by you no matter what," he promised, looking at the other seishi with deep sincerity. There was something about this sincerity Tasuki had never seen before, not even in Nuriko's eyes. More than sincerity...
'Could it be...?' he wondered. He couldn't actually see Chichiri's eyes, since Chichiri still had his mask on. But he didn't need to see them. "Chichiri-sama..." The monk said nothing as he brought one hand to his face and slowly removed his mask. Tasuki's eyes widened, and for a moment he completely forgot his pain. "Chichiri...?!"
"I know...now you see why I always wear this mask," Chichiri said quietly. Tasuki stared at the scar that lay where Chichiri's eye had once been.
"Wow...I-I never thought it was anything like that...I mean..."
"It's okay," Chichiri cut him off. "I just wanted to...tell you, since... to be honest, I feel the most comfortable with you."
"Really?" Tasuki felt his cheeks grow hot. "No one's...ever told me anything like that before," he said quietly. "I...kinda feel the same way. At least, I feel like you're the only one who actually cares about me and doesn't just see me as a loudmouth street urchin."
"I know you aren't the guy everyone thinks you are. I just...see something in you that the others don't," Chichiri said.
'Nuriko never said anything like this...aside from Miaka and Kouji, he's the only one who can see me as human, but even if they can see if they don't understand,' Tasuki thought. 'Chichiri does understand...or at least he's trying to.' "You don't know how much it means to me that you think that," he mumbled.
"It's hard to explain no da...I always felt some sort of closeness with you, even though we're so different," Chichiri said.
"Almost complete opposites," Tasuki added. "Maybe that's why Nuriko and I didn't work out so well. He's just as explosive as I am sometimes, he...didn't care enough to understand me or get to know me." He felt his eyes sting with tears. 'Fuck, not again!' "I'll never get over him, not as long as we're living in the same place and are on the same team! I-I'm moving out, I'll just switch places with one of the Byakko seishi," he choked. Chichri looked sternly at him.
"No, you won't. You can't let one man get to you that way. I won't let you," he said firmly. "I'd miss you too much if you left."
"You...would?" Tasuki felt his emotions twisting and arguing. On one ha nd, Nuriko had torn his heart out so much it hurt to even imagine being in love again. But was he really as angry and hurt over him as he thought? "You're just looking for someone to blame. You're really mad at yourself, aren't you? And it's more than that. You're afraid," a little voice in his head taunted him. 'Afraid of what?' he wondered. "Afraid you're falling for another person so soon." 'What?!' "You heard me." 'This has to be the dumbest argument I've ever had!' But he knew the voice in his head had a point and was probably right.
"And just how do you plan to keep me here?" he challenged, looking up at Chichiri.
"I have my ways, no da." And with that, Chichiri pulled Tasuki so close their lips were almost touching.
"Chichiri-sama, I..."Tasuki began. 'I never realized how...handsome he looks without his mask...' He absently leaned his face closer, and before either of them knew it, their lips met. A minute went by before they broke the kiss, and when they finally did, Tasuki's face was 5 shades of red.
"Did...we just kiss each other?" he asked, dumbfounded. Chichiri laughed a little nervously.
"Yeah...I-I guess we did no da," he said. He was actually...blushing. It was hard to imagine Chichiri blushing.
"Wow...that was just...wow," Tasuki stammered. He knew he sounded like an idiot at the moment, but he didn't care.
"Felt pretty nice no da," Chichiri laughed.
"Yeah, exactly." Tasuki smiled slightly.
"So, are you going to give up this crazy idea of leaving, or am I going to have to convince you again no da?" Chichiri teased.
"If I said no, would I get to kiss you again?" Tasuki asked shyly. Chichiri laughed.
"You seem to be feeling better then...good thing, you were starting to worry me no da," he said. Tasuki sighed.
"Yeah, I guess...still stings pretty badly, though," he mumbled. "And I know this isn't going to get any easier." Chicihri nodded.
"I know. You hang in there, though. You'll get through this. I can tell. You're a strong person, Gen-chan, strong enough not to let this beat you," he said.
"I sure don't feel like that right now," Tasuki sighed heavily. "Chichiri-sama...please stay with me tonight?" he asked. Chichiri smiled and kissed Tasuki's forehead.
"Of course. You didn't think I was going to leave you alone at a time like this, did you?" he said. "I didn't think so." Tasuki smiled a little as he snuggled closer. "Thank you, Chichiri...I'm lucky I have you to care about me," he whispered.
"I'm the lucky one," Chichiri said softly, his embrace tightening. Tasuki let his eyes close a little.
'Screw Nuriko,' he thought. He knew it would be a long time before he could think that and really mean it. And he knew it would get worse before it got better. A broken heart takes awhile to mend. But he was sure glad he had someone to help him along the way.
Outside in the hallway, a couple was standing just outside the door. They'd been there long enough to hear a third of the conversation.
"I really hurt him...I don't blame him if he never forgives me," Nuriko sighed, tears still dripping down his cheeks. "I'm such a baka...and even more, I thought I could love someone else...so I not only hurt Tasuki, I kind of betrayed you, Hotohori-sama. I-I'm so sorry." Hotohori wrapped his arms more snugly around his violet-haired lover.
"You didn't betray me. It's my own fault for ignoring you so long...if I'd just opened my eyes sooner there wouldn't have been a chance for you to date someone else. And this wouldn't have happened," he said, feeling his own eyes tearing.
"Please don't blame yourself, Hotohori-sama. I guess this just had to happen. Fate's way of working things out, I guess," Nuriko mumbled. "If only it didn't have to hurt so much." His shoulders began to heave suddenly as his grip tightened on Hotohori's chest. "It was fate, huh? That I had lost one of my best friends this way...oh, Suzaku, why does it have to be this way?" he sobbed.
"I know...I hate to see you hurting so much, Nuri-chan..." Hotohori whispered. "I'm sure eveything will work out, though...at least I hope so. Let's get to bed, I'm sure we'll feel somewhat better once we've slept," he suggested. He gently lifted the smaller seishi into his arms before walking back to their room. Nuriko snuggled against his lover's chest, his eyes closing.
"Hotohori-sama," he murmured as he began to fall asleep. Hotohori sighed.
"You really could use some sleep, Nuri-chan," he mused as he set Nuriko down gently for a moment, so he could open the door. As soon as they walked in, Nuriko immediately collapsed into bed.
'This is going to be a very trying time period,' the emperor thought as he slipped under the covers, pulling Nuriko against him. Nuriko had fallen asleep, but tears still ran down his cheeks, not just for himself and his broken friendship but for the man whose heart he had broken.
Love indeed hurts, and not just for the person who gets their heart broken.
End
Finished! ^-^ I am on a roll! Considering my usual record with writing, these past several weeks have been very good for my writing! ^_^;; Anyway, I know it got sappy as usual and again I apologize if the characters are a bit OOC.
^^;;
Till next time! ^^
Sara Jaye
~I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.~
