Crank

Crank #4 Your Luck Just Ran Out, Hipsters (I recommend using a monospaced font to view this document) Here's The Beating You're In For This Time 'Round: Don't Piss Where You Drink 2 Liquor Takes a Holiday, Almost 3* Excerpts from Grooming Tips for Stylish Young Men 4 ARREST Me! A Conversation with Jim Goad 7* Don't Get the Joke? Ask Your Hippie Neighbors 10* Poetry Slam! Crank Style--Part 1 11 Roadside Terrorism 16 Black & Decker: Not the Humorless Fucks I'd Thought 18 It's Criminal! Inside the House of the Anarchists 20 Crank Home Surgery 27* Poetry Slam! Crank Style--Part 2 28 The Almost-Return of the Almost-Wordless Reviews 34* Disast...

I recommend displaying/printing this document in a monospaced font such as Courier. Your choice, though. CRANK #3 Do you like to laugh? Well, sure you do! Who doesn't like to laugh?! (*indicates omission from text-only version) CONTENTS 1. Teenage Misfit Revisionism * 2. Mein Krank 3. Incoming Mail -and- *Tidbits for Modem Nerds 4. Outgoing Mail * 5. Useless Mail * 6. Screw Blacks, Part 1 7. Interview with a Killer #2 * 9. Crusading Christians, Online *10. Two Easy Ways to Fuck With the Religious Right *11. Clip Art Christ -and- Just buy the fucking shirt already *12. Cheap Vinyl Feature #1: The Bossa Fucking Nova *15. CRANK Body Dou...

Please contact me if you do not receive 3 parts. The last lines of Parts 1 & Parts 2 should read "end of part X" I recommend displaying/printing this document in a monospaced font such as Courier. Your choice, though. CRANK #2 28 pages of good news, love & happiness. 1 Intelligent Religious Discourse 2 And You Call Yourselves Anarchists? 3 Interview with a Killer 4 I LOVE JESUS! 5 LOOK HERE FOR A COOL SERIAL KILLER ARTICLE! 5 I'm an admitted pervert 6 Screw Women (#1) 7 I Hate Sports. So What? 11 Man's Best Friend is Still a Dumb Animal, After All 12 Ah, to be so SWANK. 13 Rampant millenarianism: THE END IS UPON US! 15 My life, my fu...

>From crank@aol.com Mon Apr 18 09:24:51 1994 CRANK 16 pages of poorly-funded self-indulgence. Spreading my opinions like a Singapore whore spreads AIDS 1. Fuck The Suburbs. Period. 2. My Favorite Asshole 3. Envy Me 4. My Favorite Cunt 4. Obligatory Reviews 5. The Millennium is coming and we ain't all gonna make it. 7. Drive Drunk With Us 8. The Merchandise 9. A Tip Sheet for New Stalkers 11. The Glory That Is STILL Vinyl 12. CRANK-E: Crank@aol.com 13. Mr. AIDS Takes a Little off the Top ************************************ 1. A by-product of JEFF CRANK will be published in the future under three conditions. 1: I have the cash. 2: I have ...

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---------------------------------------------------------------------------- the ____ ____ | | ____ ____ ____ | | |__| | | ___________________ __________________| |__| |___ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |__| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |__| | | | | ___| | | | | | | | | | | | ___| | |--| | | | | | _ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |__| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |__| |_____|_____|_____|_____| |_____|__| |__|__|__| | |__| |__| |__|__| newsletter issue one - june 25th, 1996. i love you, crank. a DTO production, i swear. -----------------------------...