Vortex

As the following classified classics will demonstrate, there are often more laughs on the advertising and classified pages than you can find in the cartoons and comic strips: Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar. Four-poster ...

Films: 1. Aliens 2. Star Wars Trilogy 3. Leon 4. Terminator 2 5. Alien 6. Hackers 7. Austin Powers 8. Event Horizon 9. The Shining 10. Akira

BEGIN FLAME Dear: [ ] Clueless Newbie [ ] Lamer [ ] AOLer [ ] "Me too" er [ ] Pervert [ ] Geek [ ] Spammer [ ] Nerd [ ] Elvis [ ] Fed [ ] Freak [ ] Scientologist [ ] Scammer [ ] Dumbass [ ] Pre-teen You Are Being Flamed Because: [ ] You posted binaries in pieces LESS than 5000 lines [ ] You posted something asking for warez sites [ ] You quoted an ENTIRE post in your reply [ ] You continued a long, stupid thread [ ] You started an off-topic thread [ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message [ ] You posted a blatantly obvious troll [ ] You posted pretending to be someone famous (See "troll" above) [ ] You replied to the above message type bel...

FLASHBACK - LEVEL CODES LEVEL EASY MODE NORMAL MODE DIFFICULT MODE 1 BACK PLAY CLOP 2 LOUP TOIT CARA 3 CINE ZAPP CALE 4 GOOD LYNX FONT 5 SPIZ SCSI HASH 6 BIOS GARY FIBO 7 HALL PONT TIPS

Number Title Format 1. GTA: London 1969 PSX/PC 2. Gran Turismo PSX 3. Grand Theft Auto PSX/PC 4. FIFA 99 PSX/PC/N64 5. Champ Manager 3 PC 6. Tomb Raider 2 PSX/PC 7. Metal Gear Solid PSX 8. Crash Bandicoot 2 PSX 9. Ridge Racer Type 4 PSX 10. Castlevania N64

When Dune2 was released on the Amiga and PC it had amazing success. It took elements from turn based war games and introduced them to the exploding, shoot-everything-in-sight world of arcade games, providing a near perfect mix of strategy and arcade action. After that, the PC saw hundreds of Real-Time-Strategy games as they were now called. Especially "Command and Conquer" and it's sequels - coming from the very same Westwood studios who produced Dune2. Where was the Amiga conversion? Westwood deemed it unviable and we had to listen to the rants of PC owners about how good these games were. Well now we have "Napalm" - produced by Clic...

By Case On Thursday 18th February, the latest series of Red Dwarf hit UK screens. If like me you're a big fan of the exploits of Lister, Rimmer, Kryten & co then you would be hoping that this series got back to some of the old Red Dwarf qualities. RD VII was a disapointment to many - they complained that Kochanski (sic?) wrecked the chemistry between the team. While I think that RD VII was very entertaining, I have to agree that it was nothing compared to many of the other series. So as I write, I have just seen the first episode. I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised! Long dialogue between Lister and Rimmer reminded me of the...

by 4-0 A collection of weird stories (probably bull) from the internet. 1) A young lad with a blind date arranged for later in the evening decided to chance his luck and stopped by a pharmacy that afternoon to pick up some condoms. As usual in these circumstances, the lad was pretty nervous, and so to cover his fear he joked to the pharmacist about how he planned to "get lucky" that night. The pharmacist grinned and wished him luck. That night, the teenager strolled up to his date's house and rang the doorbell. The girl's father answered the door and the lad's face suddenly expressed shock. "So, still feeling lucky?" asked the...

I was rather amused at the information written on the bag [of JONNY CAT, cat litter]. The best has to be: "JONNY CAT is the best value for your money. A 20 lb. bag of JONNY CAT contains 25% more litter than 16 lb. bags, and 43% more than 14 lb. bags!" Other importanant info: "100% natural clay mined from a rare deposit makes Jonny Cat especially absorbent." AND THEN they have a section for "Other Uses" of Jonny Cat: "GARAGE SPILLS-sweeps up oil and grease and reduces stains" "TRASH CANS-a layer on the bottom reduces odors and discourages flies" "REFRIGERATORS- an inexpensive nontoxic odor absorbent" "GARDENS-enhances water retention and s...

British computer genius aged 16 put Pentagon in a panic as he hacked into weapons secrets. Re-typed by CasE A British schoolboy caused panic at the Pentagon when he hacked into America's top-secret defnece computers. Richard Pryce, 16, cracked codes to U.S. Air Force missile systems using a £750 computer in the bedroom of his London home. Defence chiefs feared a masterspy had infiltrated intelligence files and stolen some of the country's most closely-guarded weapons secrets. Members of the Senate were told he had caused more harm than the KGB. It took investigators 13 months to track the source of the leak to England. Eventually ...