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Morgue Texts 16
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≥Issue Number: Volume One Issue #16 ≥
≥Release Date: 04/18/93 ≥
≥Writer(s) : CorrupTor ≥
≥Title/Subj. : Phun With Cats ≥
≥ ≥
≥Comments: ≥
≥ The Best part is Killing the ≥
≥ helpless cat! ≥
≥ ≥
≥Greets To: ≥
≥ All the Cats I've Killed ≥
≥ Acidic Nature ≥
¿ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒŸ
Phun with Cats
----------------
Phun with Cats is for only the people with a Morbid sense
of humor. Please keep in mind that Killing cats is addictive.
We'll first start off by telling you how to obtain a cat.
First Look in the newspaper for: FREE TO GOOD HOME, Nice
adorable kitten, Call Bitch at XXX-XXXX. This would be the
easiest way... if not that, Try a friend who needs to get rid
of her pet because her Dad threatened to kill it. Yes, I've
gotten 2 cats from my X-Girlfriend because of this.. And to
this day she still doesnt know they're dead. Just tell whoever
that you know someone who would love a cat. The other way is
to go prowling through the neighborhood at night looking for
a loose or stray cat. I seldomly have luck with this approach.
The last and most guaranteed way to snag a cat is to stop by
your local pound and purchase a cat. Yes, This way you will
definately have a cat, but it will cost you.. The fee is
usually around $25.00 these days.. And all for a damn cat!
After you got the cat, get a friend or two and go somewhere
to have fun. One suggestion is get a chain, leash, or something
to prevent the cat from getting away, And the fun will begin.
Top 25 Ways to have Phun with a Cat:
1) Obtain Butane and squirt it all over the cat and light it!
(Make sure the cat is not able to get away)
2) Make it digest B.B.'s or Pellets from a gun
3) Take your parents hair clipper kit, and shave the bastard
4) Purchase some flourescent paint and paint the cat
(Pretend your an artist...)
5) Put it in a gallon bucket and swing it around and make it dizzy,
or put the lid on the bucket and kick it around.
(Make sure the lid is on TIGHT!)
6) Put Tape on the cats paws and head and watch it jump around
trying to get it off.
7) Get some firecrackers and tape them to the cat, and light it
(It works best when taped to its face)
8) Get a Dart from a dartboard, and stab the kitten's paw, eyeball
or balls..
9) Just bang the cats head on something hard, and give it a bad
headache.
10) Take an ax or something sharp and lose its tail.
11) Take a Rope or something and wrap it around its neck once or
twice and hold him up in the air and watch it jerk.
12) Take a needle/syringe and suck its eye fluids out, or inject
perioxide into the cat.. or something else that would be
creative.
13) Stick a knife up its ass.
14) Stick a 9 volt battery on its tongue..
(it can be done)
15) Smash its paws with a brick or snap its limbs and make it
walk.
16) Make it swallow an alkaseltzer.
17) Apply Crazy glue to its tongue or eyelids.
18) Pierce its ear with a dart or something sharp
19) Snap its neck like seen in the movies.
(two nice twists)
20) Puncture a hole in its back and run a rope through it and
make him a decoration.
(How? Pick it up buy its fur, and have a friend jam a knife)
(through its fur.. )
21) Put it in a box and throw it of a two story house.
22) Just plain stab the bastard
23) Have your friend back over it with the car while you hold it.
24) Tie it to the car bumper and start driving.
(Make sure you do this where no one will see you)
25) Do whatever the hell that comes to your mind at the time!
I hope you enjoyed this Tfile, and good luck with cat
torture.. Your first blood is always the hardest, the second
is a charm. See ya!
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