Capital of Nasty

Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine Volume VII, Issue 14, AD MMII Monday, October 28, 2002 ISSN 1482-0471 ------------------------------------------- "So as we set out this year to defeat the divisive forces that would take our freedom away, I want to say those words again for everyone within the sound of my voice to hear and to heed, and especially for you, Mr. Gore. From my cold, dead hands!" -- Charlton Heston ------------------------------------------- "When I stand on a mountain and say `do it', it gets done!" -- Charles Manson ------------------------------------------- 1. Democracy is Bad for Business 2. Life in the Collector Lan...

Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine Volume VII, Issue 13, AD MMII Monday, September 23, 2002 ISSN 1482-0471 ------------------------------------------- "1935 will go down in history. For the first time, a civilized nation has full gun registration. Our streets will be safer, our police more efficient, and the world will follow our lead into the future." --Adolf Hitler ------------------------------------------- Licking open wounds Soured by rotting memories Bitterness prevails -- Danielle Pignataro ------------------------------------------- 1. Why I Hate Computers 2. I Copied a File 3. The Human Dishwasher 4. The Man Who Never Was 5. '...

Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine Volume VII, Issue 12, AD MMII Friday, August 30, 2002 ISSN 1482-0471 ------------------------------------------- You'd think if you're a newscaster for CNN you must have been saying the word Al-Qa'ida at least 10 times a day for a year. That's more than enough time to realize that it is pronounced al-qa-eeda and not al-kayda. That apostrophe is not there just for fun. - Konrad the Bold ------------------------------------------- "We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. " -H.L. Men...

Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine Volume VII, Issue 11, AD MMII Monday, July 22, 2002 ISSN 1482-0471 ------------------------------------------- <Mallow005> now I must go watch momento <Jeff> that movie sucks <Mallow005> what <Mallow005> everyone says it's good <Jeff> Everyone is stupid. ------------------------------------------- "No, thank you, ma'am. I don't drink water." "Why not?" "Well, the human body is close to ninety percent water, and that rings of cannibalism to me. I'd rather forgo that experience." "Umm, ok. What would you like to drink?" "Sprite." "But that has water in it." "Is sprite ninety percent ...

Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine Volume VII, Issue 10, AD MMII Monday, June 24, 2002 ISSN 1482-0471 ------------------------------------------- I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike. -- Emile Henry Gauvreay ------------------------------------------- "You know you worked in the 90's if... You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies." ------------------------------------------- 1. Editorial 2. The Windows of Apathy 3. The Thunderthief 4. ...

Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine Volume VII, Issue 9, AD MMII Monday, May 13, 2002 ISSN 1482-0471 ------------------------------------------- "Trial by jury is a direct descendant of the trial by battle of medieval times. In that system, a litigant hired a champion, or knight-warrior, to fight it out on the battleground with his opponent's champion. In theory, God would not permit the wrong person's champion to win, so that (in theory) trial by battle ensured perfect justice. In practice, I am sure, medieval litigants wanted to know their respective champions were in good physical shape and well versed in the art of battle, just in c...

Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine Volume VII, Issue 8, AD MMII Tuesday, April 23, 2002 ISSN 1482-0471 ------------------------------------------- "If you are wearing a seat belt, your chances of being killed or seriously injured in a traffic crash are at least 50 percent better than if you are not wearing one. In addition, we all share the financial burden of deaths and injuries due to traffic crashes." -- "NEW YORK STATE DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR VEHICLES - DRIVER'S MANUAL", page 66 ------------------------------------------- Only presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we." ---------------------...

Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine Volume VII, Issue 7, AD MMII Monday, April 8, 2002 ISSN 1482-0471 ------------------------------------------- What has this world come to? Ozzy osbourne has gone easy listening. Ozzy: "I'm just a dreeea-mer..." Listener: "No damnit, your paranoid, see, people think you're insane because you're frowning all the time damn you!" Ozzy: "I dream my life away..." Listener (disgusted): "you are NOT iron man" -- Kiwano ------------------------------------------- "The number of Unix installations has grown to 10, with more expected." -- The Unix Programmer's Manual, 2nd Edition, June, 1972 --------------------...

Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine Volume VII, Issue 6, AD MMII Monday, March 25, 2002 ISSN 1482-0471 ------------------------------------------- You know what I can't stand? People who can't understand a simple analogy. Let's say I'm arguing that karate is boring. Someone will say "how do you know if you haven't tried it?" I go "I haven't tried suicide but I know it's bad for you." Idiots will ALWAYS respond: "but karate won't kill you." See that's not the point. The point of the analogy was that you don't have to try something to know something about it but for some reason 90% of people just can't understand the concept of an analogy...

Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine Volume VII, Issue 5, AD MMII Monday, March 11, 2002 ISSN 1482-0471 ------------------------------------------- ... and on top of all this, this girl is so fucking sexy, I would kill members of my immediate family just for five seconds alone with her bicycle seat. Or, as someone else put it once, I would crawl through a barrel of broken glass to put matchsticks in her shit. -- 665 http://www.sixsixfive.com/184.html ------------------------------------------- Tim stole a fish from me yesterday. It's a little fish ornament. The fish is in a judicial robe holding a scroll. The caption says, "C...