God of B0rk

Book Seventeen : Prayer of Forgiveness ====================================== (As read by St-fwaggle) <fwaggle> we beg of you oh b0rk, plz to forgive him kthnx

Book Sixteen : The BSD Demon Is Evil ==================================== Another horror hides Nay lurks in thou hard drive Red in appearance And geek like of code BSD is here Thou must learn to phear And hideth the penguin of linus For foul act And sinful pleasure The demon of BSD seeketh The little red freaketh.

Book Fifteen : The End ====================== And when all the calculators, All the processors, All the mother boards, All the floppy drives, All the hard drives, All the mice, All the keyboards, All the graphics cards, All the sound cards, All the CD-ROMS, All the DVD-Combo Drives, All the IDE cables, All the PSU units, All the USB controllers, All the ISA ports, All the AGP, All the processor fans, All the installations of BSD, All the installations of windows, And all the PCI slots are b0rked. He shall rest. Even the Random Windows Fearie will fade to nothing, and there will be no more b0rk. Just bored0m.

Book Fourteen : First Pope, Holy Father ======================================= And from the Emerald Isle he will come Aloft a Medium Sized Wing'ed badger He shall spake the words; "B0rk to the Discordian Principla! Be gone to the pit, to be sure, for I am the Holy Father of B0rk." And the god of B0rk was impressed. And our First Pope did take his seat. And it was a very fine seat. And Cronus was indeed happy.

Book Thirteen : Irony ===================== This file is b0rked.

Book Twelve : The Mouse and the Graphics Card ============================================= One is on your desk. The other in your case. One purrs with power and importance. One sits silent and unheard. But no matter which he strikes; The mouse or the graphics card. Your system will still be b0rked. Such is the power of the God of B0rk.

Book Eleven : The Random Windows Fearie ======================================= Chaos and fear fear and chaos. It worked fine yesterday! And the 101 days before that! Fat women are never attractive. Your soundcard is conflicting. Scandisk won't run. Your defrag has crashed. Your having no fun. The Random Windows Fearie is. Fatal VXD Error - if it persists, try restarting your computer. And now your boxen is b0rked.

Book Ten : Finality =================== Everyday you take one step closer to your ideal configuration Everyday the God of B0rk takes you five steps back; silently amongst your files silently within your hardware the god of b0rk is ever present. will you notice him? will he care? your hardware will die, your software will corrupt you will never know he was there. Perfection.

Book Nine : Nine Little Pixels ============================== Nine little pixels Sat all alone Nine little pixels Not allowed to use the phone How can we dial When can we hear that tone When can the firewall Enter the Internet Zone The modem is b0rked.

Book Eight : eighth =================== Eight is the number. Eighth is the size. Won't make you stronger. Will make you wise. Amen.