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Mikes Madness

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Administrator: eZine
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Created 28 Apr 2019
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26 Articles

Mikes Madness Issue 26

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eZine lover (@eZine)
Published in 
 · 26 Apr 2019
Return-Path: <smbancroft@ucdavis.edu> Received: from bikini.cis.ufl.edu by wasp.eng.ufl.edu (4.1/4.2) id AA15111; Mon, 15 Mar 93 19:22:52 EST Received: from aggie.ucdavis.edu by bikini.cis.ufl.edu (5.61ufl/2.35) id AA21989; Mon, 15 Mar 93 19:22:39 -0500 Received: from hamlet.ucdavis.edu by aggie.ucdavis.edu (5.61/UCD2.04) id AA20480; Mon, 15 Mar 93 16:12:34 -0800 Received: by hamlet.ucdavis.edu (5.57/UCD2.03) id AA08731; Mon, 15 Mar 93 16:11:33 -0800 From: smbancroft@ucdavis.edu (Steven Bancroft) Date: Mon, 15 Mar 93 16:11:33 -0800 Message-Id: <9303160011.AA08731@hamlet.ucdavis.edu> To: esj@bikini.cis.ufl.edu Subj...

Mikes Madness Issue 25

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eZine lover (@eZine)
Published in 
 · 26 Apr 2019
Mikes Madness Issue 1Mike's Madness #25 For Anne. - Tonight on - U N S O L V E D M Y S T E R I E S - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - On March 25, 1952, water fell on the parched township of Bigass, N. Dakota. The residents thought it was rain, but new evidence points to a possible visit by Saint Sister Panama Canal, the famous Spitting Nun of Paraguay . . . Wil Weaton had a gimme role on the most popular syndicated series in history. Yet, for no apparent reason, he left the show to star in such megahits as The Last Prostitute and Toy Soldiers. A lapse of common sense, maybe -- but this man says that Brent Spiner was putting LSD in Weaton...

Mikes Madness Issue 24

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eZine lover (@eZine)
Published in 
 · 26 Apr 2019
Mike's Madness #24 Dude, when there's a flood comin', you should bail. No one needs to be told this. You know that when the water's over the Buick, it's time to jam. I know the parakeet and the Barry Manilow collection are back in the Airstream, but its far better to be without a vinyl archive of badly drond crap and a shit machine with feathers than buried under a stone that reads: Here lies [YOUR NAME HERE] BORN: Whenever DIED: After ignoring the 15th or 20th warning and this huge ol' fuckin' flood came barreling outta the mountains at mach 8 and swept him/her and that ugly goddamned green Gremlin he/she usedta drive clean out ...

Mikes Madness Issue 23

eZine's profile picture
eZine lover (@eZine)
Published in 
 · 26 Apr 2019
Mike's Madness #23 This is a test of the Mike's Madness Emergency Alert System (WOMBAT). The programmers of this network node have created this system in the event that another Mike's Madness issue is released. This is only a test . . . [30 seconds of some horrible screeching noise] This has been a test of the Mike's Madness Emergency Alert System. Had this been an acutal Mike's Madness release, the message you just heard would have been followed by retching, vomitting, swearing, the turning off of computer terminals and several sickening references to beastiality. This concludes this test of the Mike's Madness Emergency Alert System (PL...

Mikes Madness Issue 22

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eZine lover (@eZine)
Published in 
 · 26 Apr 2019
Mike's Madness #22 (Season #3 Premier) To: Music Dept., CSUS From: Germanic Music Research Dept. (Non-Wagner section), U. of Berlin Re: Mozart's Requiem Sirs, As is well known, Mozart died before completing the entire score of his last work, Requiem. Completion of the work was done by Sussmayr in 1793, but there has always been question of how Mozart himself would have finished the work. Luckily, a copy of Mozart's score was found recently in our basement that details the completed score. We present it here in its entirety. (NOTE: Apparently, the Requiem was not written for the wife of Count Walsegg-Stuppach as previously thought, but fo...

Mikes Madness Issue 21

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eZine lover (@eZine)
Published in 
 · 26 Apr 2019
Mike's Madness #21 So anyway, I was sittin' in the park the other day, not doin' anyone any harm, not doin' anyone any good; just lookin' for wealthy older folks who might be wandering around the park, and this dude comes up to me. Kinda hippy-lookin' dude. "Whazzup?" I asked. His glassy, bloodshot eyes stared passed me. The thick, miasmic smell of bud hung around him, like a curtain of skunk spray. "Hey man, you either need a bath, or are carrying some very potent bud." I said. The hippy gave a wisend nod. "Whatcher name?" I asked. "Phinias Phreak." "Yer mom liked Head Comix, huh?" "Yup. M'brother's name is Fat Freddy's Cat." "Sorry to ...

Mikes Madness Issue 20

eZine's profile picture
eZine lover (@eZine)
Published in 
 · 26 Apr 2019
Mike's Madness #20 ----------------------------------------- Coming soon from Schlockmeister Pictures! ----------------------------------------- It's Fast! It's Furious! It's Foul! -- It's! -- = S M O K E Y A N D T H E B A N D I T = (part 8) "Burt Reynolds drinks a lotta beer and drives like an asshole!" WITNESS! * A midget break wind for twenty-three seconds! A new North Carolina record! TPPPPPPBBBBBBBBBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBBBBBBBBBbbbbbbbBBbbbbbbBBBbbbbbbBbbBbbbb BBbBBBBBBBBPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPpTpTpTpTpTpTPPPPPBPBPBPBPBPBPBBPPPPPPPPPPPPP tBBBtBBBBBtBBBBtttBBBBtBBBBtBBBtBBBBBBBTT! Yeeeewww-EEE!!!!!!!! Yo' sho' did slice that one thick! Roll do...

Mikes Madness Issue 19

eZine's profile picture
eZine lover (@eZine)
Published in 
 · 26 Apr 2019
Mike's Madness #19 This is Steven Tyler of Aerosmith and you're reading Mike's Madness no. 19! OWW! (Note: Steve Tyler didn't REALLY endorse this edition of Mike's Madness. He's never even HEARD of Mike's Madness. He's never read it, or read of it. Just because HE'S famous and I'm a total nobody doesn't give him the right not to read my stuff and ignore my threatening telegrams! THE BASTARD! THE COMPLETE BASTARD! ARRRGH!) And now . . . BrrrBrrr BrrrBrrr BrrrBrrr . . . [CLICK!] "Good afternoon, Isley POST. Can I help you?" "Yes, this is Mr. Meatbeater. Why hasn't my photo been run?" "Because there's no interest in a photo captioned 'My Do...

Mikes Madness Issue 18

eZine's profile picture
eZine lover (@eZine)
Published in 
 · 26 Apr 2019
Mike's Madness #18 And now . . . # 23: A bit for urologists Two Songs for Urologists: Pee for Two Urine the Money There will now follow a rebuttal by the Conservative Party: 'oo is responsible for this crap?! 'Songs for Urologists' INDEED! The Very Butch Maggie Thatcher, P.M. And now . . . --------------------- American History Hour --------------------- With your host, the very violent Mr. D.P. Gumby! Good evening Fred! Tonight I shall entertain you by explainin' Columbus' discovery of the New World while 'ittin' meself in th' 'ead wif a brick! Good evening Fred! Columbus, wot was a dirty Portegee bastard, got sodden at the 'Get On Inn'...

Mikes Madness Issue 17

eZine's profile picture
eZine lover (@eZine)
Published in 
 · 26 Apr 2019
----- C O P S ----- Filmed on location in Sacramento, California, as it happens. All these offensive little creeps are assumed innocent, which we all know damn well they're not, until proven guilty in a court of law, which we all pray they will be. Cops will return after these messages. . . NEXT TIME ON AN ALL NEW "STAR TREK -- THE NEXT GENERATION". . . The Enterprise is plagued by Australians! Bruce 1: "G'day Bruce!" Bruce 2: "How are 'ya then, Bruce?" Bruce 3: "Blimey, it's cold in 'ere, Bruce!" Captain Piquard: "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE? GET OFF MY SHIP!!" Bruce 1: "'oo you tellin' t' get offa this ship?" Bruce 2: "'e's tellin' YOU...
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