Really ELiTE Doodz

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ____________________________ \__ __ / ____/ \ / _/ ___/__ _/ \ / / \ / / /____/_____\________/________/ "|~34|_|_-< 3|_i+3 />00/>Z" Only Half-Proudly Presents: RED-3-5.TXT aka "Them Damn Mentos! 2: A Quick Follow-Up" by: Black Francis ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ While flipping through the December 1st edition of the Philadelphia Daily News, I came across a small article located next to the nights tv highlights that really suprised me. It was a...

.----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | ___________ __________ | | | |_____| \ | | | . | | . | | | | :_____| ____| | | | | | | ___|_ : | | | |_____| o |_o________/ o | | |____________| | | | | Really ELiTE Doodz Prezent : | | RED-020.TXT aka | | "Stupidity for the Masses #1" | | By : Black Francis | : "Better Living Through Stupidity." : . . WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ! Listen up, pansy! There's a time to fuck around and there's a time to buckle down at get serious. We've been fucking around long enough here at ReD magazine, and now we're start...

.----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | ___________ __________ | | | |_____| \ | | | . | | . | | | | :_____| ____| | | | | | | ___|_ : | | | |_____| o |_o________/ o | | |____________| | | | | Really ELiTE Doodz Prezent : | | RED-xxx.TXT aka | | "4 gNu tYp3 0f b0x!" | | By : Black Francis | : "Better Living Through Stupidity." : . . WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ! I. History ------------ Hello, lamers! Ok, well, you see - the hacking/phreaking scene is literally falling apart at the seams. It's definitely not what it used to be. There hasn't b...

.----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | ___________ __________ | | | |_____| \ | | | . | | . | | | | :_____| ____| | | | | | | ___|_ : | | | |_____| o |_o________/ o | | |____________| | | | | Really ELiTE Doodz Prezent : | | RED-018.TXT aka | | "pHuN aT tHe Z00!" | | By : Stinky | : "Better Living Through Stupidity." : . . WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ! Hello! Wow! I'm so excited! This is my first article that I've written for ReD. I also write for an e-mag that I helped found, PaL (Primatez Againzt Lamerz). You may have not heard of us yet, but...

.----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | ___________ __________ | | | |_____| \ | | | . | | . | | | | :_____| ____| | | | | | | ___|_ : | | | |_____| o |_o________/ o | | |____________| | | | | Really ELiTE Doodz Prezent : | | RED-017.TXT aka | | "The Really Elite Experiment" | | By : Black Francis | | "Better Living Through Stupidity." | : : . . WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ! You know, as if the computer world isn't becoming lame enough, we have more assholes coast to coast starting e-mags. There must be at least 15,000 of them in the tri-state a...

.----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | ___________ __________ | | | |_____| \ | | | . | | . | | | | :_____| ____| | | | | | | ___|_ : | | | |_____| o |_o________/ o | | |____________| | | | | Really ELiTE Doodz Prezent : | | RED-xxx.TXT aka | | "Leper Messiahs Poetry Corner" | | By : Leper Messiah | : "Better Living Through Stupidity." : . . WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ! For Now............ Slowly the sun begins to set Darkness moves in and smothers the day's last breath until, finally, it has killed it off for now But alas, Darkness does not c...

.----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | ___________ __________ | | | |_____| \ | | | . | | . | | | | :_____| ____| | | | | | | ___|_ : | | | |_____| o |_o________/ o | | |____________| | | | | Really ELiTE Doodz Prezent : | | RED-015.TXT aka | | "Frequently Asked Questions About ReD" | | By : Black Francis | : "Better Living Through Stupidity." : . . WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ! *** Interview with Black Francis - Conducted on 01/05/95 by Phil McKraken *** WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ! P: ...

.----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | ___________ __________ | | | |_____| \ | | | . | | . | | | | :_____| ____| | | | | | | ___|_ : | | | |_____| o |_o________/ o | | |____________| | | | | Really ELiTE Doodz Prezent : | | RED-014.TXT aka | | "How to Break Stuff" | | By : Intestinal Scum-Monkey | : "Better Living Through Stupidity." : . . WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ! Well, it seems that all you rad doodz out there like anarchy, or, YOUR little version of anarchy. You know. Breaking stuff, etc. Well, I recently found out that most of you like...

.----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | ___________ __________ | | | |_____| \ | | | . | | . | | | | :_____| ____| | | | | | | ___|_ : | | | |_____| o |_o________/ o | | |____________| | | Really ELiTE Doodz Prezent : | | RED-013.TXT aka | | "Doughboy RISE!!" | | By : Black Francis | | "Better Living Through Stupidity." | : : . . WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ! Wether you know it or not, the Pilsbury Doughboy had just commited suicide on December 25th, 1994. This is after a brief killing spree which began on December 21st. He had been in hiding si...

.----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | ___________ __________ | | | |_____| \ | | | . | | . | | | | :_____| ____| | | | | | | ___|_ : | | | |_____| o |_o________/ o | | |____________| | | Really ELiTE Doodz Prezent : | | RED-012.TXT aka | | "You're a Pathetic Loser" | | By : Black Francis | : "Better Living Through Stupitity" : . . WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ!WaReZ! Speaking of losers, here are some quotes from people who's loserific lives *HAVEN'T* been changed by ReD! "Black Francis is a lamer." - Wicked Illusion "Black Francis is Asshole of the Y...