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Beyond Eternity 04
BEYOND ETERNITY ISSN 1203-5416
Episode 04 <--> March 1996
Sanjay Singh eternity@cyberspace.org
_______________________________________________________________
"Too bad eternity has to last forever." [Jessica Conner]
... And here we are. Episode 04. Add that to the nine scenes
from The Eternity Articles and we get thirteen. Thirteen whole
issues. I guess that makes it official. Eternity has lasted for
over a year.
Bad puns aside, it's been done. A lot of people have been
playing this same game for as long or longer. A year is nothing
new, but it's a milestone, and I passed it. Good for me.
Eternity hasn't turned out to be as bad as the quotation would
suggest, but then again, I did take the quotation grossly out of
context. The point is there though, it's just a subtle one. Don't
worry, I'm not hinting at a sudden end, no worries, no regrets (at
least no recent ones), right?
And finally, before I forget, I'd just like to say thanks to
Karla and Copper for suggesting those books. I bought them, and
will get around to reading them soon. I'm sure they'll find there
way into here in a couple of months.
And while I'm thanking people for giving me things to read, I
can't ignore thanking Dahven for Fire and Dreams, and Joanie for
Hijinx.
Contents
========
- Introduction (you just read it)
- I Just Had A Blue Whale For Lunch!
- Someone's Not Paying Attention
- Avert Your Eyes!
- Flashback [author unknown]
- Baudeville
- Administrivia
- Rules Of The Game
I Just Had A Blue Whale For Lunch!
==================================
"Now I'm all for popularizing political causes, but if
Enviro-getti [is] the shape of our mental environment, a
nagging question arises: What are we saving the world
for again?" [Naomi Klein]
[This one was written with infinite gratitude to Naomi
Klein.]
Yes! It finally happened. I know a lot of us have been
sitting on our couches, thinking, "if only there were something I
could do to save the environment." Well now there is. Those fine
people at Heinz have come up with the perfect solution... and the
best thing about it is that now we can have our endangered species,
and eat them too.
Seriously, this is the what a group of some of the worlds best
marketers came up with. So, now, we not only get the environmental
treat of Pauly Shore's Bio-Dome, but when it comes out on video
next month, we'll have something to munch on while watching it.
Alright. This is where I get to take a deep breath and count
to ten, slowly, otherwise, when I finish this, no one will have a
clue what I was talking about. So here goes...
The Heinz company, which perhaps should have stopped after
ketchup and barbecue sauce, has decided to jump on the
biodegradable, solar-powered, environmental bandwagon. Their
contribution to the fight to save the planet... Enviro-getti.
Which is a lot like a can of Spagetti-O's, but with environmentally
shaped noodles. Let's see, in one tiny can, we get elephants,
eagles, whales, trees and that recycling triangle thing.
So, what's the problem? They're increasing awareness, and
turning a profit at the same time. What's wrong with that?
Nothing really. But then again, do we really want to send the
message out to the impressionable children of today that "bald
eagles taste good?" It kind of gives a new meaning to "I'm so
hungry I could eat a whale," don't you think?
I think the only real connection to the environment comes from
one of those 'proof of purchase' order forms. If you send in the
proof, you get an environmental activity book, and Heinz promises
to donate a buck to the Young Naturalists Foundation. I'm not
really sure who they are, but they must have something to do with
the environment, right?
I suppose, if nothing else, the claim that it "makes it fun
for kids to learn about the environment" might actually be valid.
But then again, Scary-O's were supposed to frighten kids into
eating them too. And even back then they didn't live up to their
"frightfully delicious" label.
Someone's Not Paying Attention
==============================
"It's not a purpose that drives them, it's fear. They're
not going anywhere, they're escaping. And I don't think
they know what it is that they want to escape." [Ayn
Rand]
[Anything in this piece in double quotes is taken
directly from a copy of an article in the 10/24/95 issue
of Planet 21. I've never heard of it before, but I have
photocopies to prove it exists.]
Sometime last month I got an email message. It was a simple
request, someone (calling themselves K2) wanted to know if I would
put an ad in here. The subject line read: "Free stickers and
info", and the basic sales pitch was 'acknowledging alien existence
will further our development towards valuing every member of this
planet.'
I actually had to reread the message three times before I got
the point. It's not that it was poorly worded, or ineloquent, it
just didn't make sense. So many questions were left unanswered.
What do aliens have to do with human values? Wouldn't accepting
the 'we are not alone' philosophy devalue human life? Will they be
able to find me if I hide under a box in my closet?
So I fired off a reply. I only asked the first two questions,
and then receded back into my closet. The reply was simple enough.
K2 asked for my mailing address, and told me that he'd send me his
'package' which would clarify everything. I have to admit that I
was curious, so I told him to send it. Maybe, somewhere down the
line this would all make sense.
The next week, it came in the mail. A standard envelope with
a sticker on the back. The sticker was pretty much a no-smoking
sign, but instead of a cigarette, there was a picture of an alien
head. Big triangle head with bug eyes and a tiny mouth. I guess
he didn't want any aliens to open my mail for me.
Inside the envelope, there were a couple of photocopied
articles, and several strips of those no alien stickers. The
articles, titled "Never Trust An Alien; V2: The Unforgettable
Theory", focused on someone named V2 (we think he's named after the
movie V) and their "Just Say No to Aliens" campaign.
The first article talks about how people hate governments,
cults, and companies that are "engaged in a widespread policy of
kidnapping civilians and preforming vile and unwelcome tests on
them," but no one is doing anything about "certain entities" that
do the same evil deeds. Maybe it's because "the entities in
question are not of this earth."
The second article goes on about how the alien face is our
"inoculation against their imminent arrival." This is what V2
calls the 'inoculation theory.' Unfortunately, like all the other
information, this theory left me with more questions than answers.
As far as I can tell, V2 thinks that the reason that everyone
has seen the alien face is that we can become familiar with it.
"Preparing us, so we will be less afraid and more accepting when we
see them face to green face." How is this an inoculation? The
entire theory is based on the idea that if we see this face enough,
we'll be placated when the aliens do arrive (apparently, their
arrival is "imminent"). And isn't V2 helping to spread the image
with his stickers? Or does putting a red line through something
erase the image from our minds?
There are so many worthwhile causes today. There are so many
things that people could spend their time doing. There are just so
many other things that Just Say No could be doing. If they want
everyone to value everyone else, then why not find a real issue to
unite everyone? Want to put an end to cults? There are plenty of
organizations that will gladly tell you how to do that. Want to
stop the government from misbehaving? Vote against them (not a
perfect solution, but it's a start). Want to warn people about the
dangers of an alien invasion? Well, you could at least try to be
credible.
I know my distrust of paranoids (no pun intended) is no
secret. I know that fear is one of the most powerful weapons
available to us. And I know that a lot of people use that weapon
to exploit others. For what? I don't know what V2 really has to
gain. Maybe they honestly believe that space invaders is more than
just a video game. I believe that 'we are not alone,' but I don't
really care one way or another. Personally, I've got better things
to worry about.
Avert Your Eyes!
================
Quick! If I asked you what the one thing not to do when
running a magazine article about programs that block out 'adult'
sites on the internet, what would you answer?
How about "you shouldn't have erotic screen shots" or "you
shouldn't list where to find these sites." At least those were the
two that I came up with. Mind you I had the article in front of me
at the time. The article which did both.
Now, maybe, maybe not, they needed something to fill up the
article with. Maybe, maybe not, people wouldn't want to see
another picture of a happy family sitting around a computer screen
and flip the page. Maybe, maybe not, this was their way of giving
'equal time' to the pages that these programs block out. I could
go on forever, but where would that get us?
Perhaps the real problem in the article is that under an
interesting screen shot for the Body Worship page, they have the
caption in big friendly red letters, "How software can help parents
shield their kids from Internet porn." Granted, they're not
showing anything obscene in the article, but the pictures they do
have are... suggestive, to say the least. Maybe the best way to
shield your kids, would be to hide the article?
Besides, how many children have access to the internet? Is
that really where all the attention should be? I think there are
far more kids with access to television (and I don't just mean late
night pay-tv) and convenience stores. I remember buying copies of
Penthouse when I was thirteen, and it wasn't that hard either.
If you want to start another witch hunt, tracking down any web
page that hits at sex, then go ahead, but people know that there
are better targets to be aiming at. Even after the web becomes a
clean and safe place to visit, nothing will have changed. Kids
will still get their hands on it, one way or another.
Flashback
=========
"It was the end of the 'dazed and confused' me decade and
the beginning of the greed decade of junk bonds and junk
culture." [Roy Trakin]
[I have no idea who wrote this. A friend sent it to me
last week, but he had didn't know either. If you know
who did, let me know, I'll be more than happy to give her
credit once I know who she is.
This is just brought back a lot of memories for me. I
don't really know how old many of you are, but if one
person remembers it'll be worth it.]
[author unknown]
We are the children of the Eighties. We are not the first
"lost generation" nor today's lost generation; in fact, we think we
know just where we stand - or are discovering it as we speak. We
are the ones who played with Lego Building Blocks when they were
just building blocks and gave Malibu Barbie crewcuts with safety
scissors that never really cut. We collected Garbage Pail Kids and
Cabbage Patch Kids and My Little Ponies and Hot Wheels and He-Man
action figures and thought She-Ra looked just a little bit like I
would when I was a woman.
Big Wheels and bicycles with streamers were the way to go, and
sidewalk chalk was all you needed to build a city. Imagination was
the key. It made the Ewok Treehouse big enough for you to be Luke
and the kitchen table and an old sheet dark enough to be a tent in
the forest. Your world was the backyard and it was all you needed.
With your pink portable tape player, Debbie Gibson sang back
up to you and everyone wanted a skirt like the Material Girl and a
glove like Michael Jackson's. Today, we are the ones who sing
along with Bruce Springsteen and The Bangles perfectly and have no
idea why. We recite lines with the Ghostbusters and still look to
The Goonies for a great adventure. We flip through T.V. stations
and stop at The A-Team and Knight Rider and Fame and laugh with The
Cosby Show and Family Ties and Punky Brewster and "what you talkin'
'bout Willis?". We hold strong affections for The Muppets and The
Gummy Bears and why did they take the Smurfs off the air? After
school specials were only about cigarettes and step-families, the
Polka Dot Door was nothing like Barney, and aren't the Power
Rangers just Voltron reincarnated?
We are the ones who still read Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys,
the Bobbsey Twins, Beverly Clearly and Judy Blume, Richard Scary
and the Electric Company. Friendship bracelets were ties you
couldn't break and friendship pins went on shoes - preferably
hightop Velcro Reebox - and pegged jeans were in, as were Units
belts and layered socks and jean jackets and jams and charm
necklaces and side pony tails and rat tails.
Rave was a girl's best friend; braces with coloured
rubber-bands made you cool. The back door was always open and Mom
served only red Kool-Aid to the neighbourhood kids - [we] never
drank New Coke. Entertainment was cheap and lasted for hours. All
you needed to be a princess was high heels and an apron; the
Sit'n'Spin always made you dizzy but never made you stop; Pogoballs
were dangerous weapons and Chinese Jump Ropes never failed to trip
someone. In your Underoos you were Wonder Woman or Spider Man or
R2D2 and in your treehouse you were king.
In the Eighties, nothing was wrong. Did you know the
president was shot? Star Wars was not only a movie. Did you ever
play in a bomb shelter? Did you see the Challenger explode or feed
the homeless man? We forgot Vietnam and watched Tiananman's Square
on CNN and bought pieces of the Berlin Wall at the store. AIDS was
not the number one killer in the United States. We didn't start
the fire, Billy Joel.
In the Eighties, we redefined the American Dream, and those
years defined us. We are the generation in between strife and
facing strife and not turning our backs. The Eighties may have
made us idealistic, but it's that idealism that will push us and be
passed on to our children - the first children of the twenty-first
century. Never forget: We are the children of the Eighties.
If this is familiar, you are one of us... pass it on to all
the others...
Baudeville
==========
"Baudeville is not sponsored by or affiliated with any
corporation. You could take this to mean that we believe
strongly in editorial independence and artistic freedom,
but a more accurate interpretation would be, 'We're
poor.'"
And just in case you want more commentary, more often than I
can provide, I've found a thing called Baudeville. It's a weekly
magazine on the web. A lot of the articles are pretty well thought
out, and some of them are also pretty funny.
Their columns include Quack Attack, which is a no-holds-barred
battle against pseudoscience. Live Via Reality and Spin Cycle are
two different social commentaries (LVR is normally a little more
political, and SC is more cultural). There's a daily soap opera,
and weekly comics (including "Too Much Coffee Man") and that pretty
much rounds off the list. (There's more, but I don't normally read
the rest, so I won't talk about them.)
Anyways, if you're interested, their web address is:
http://exp1.mobius.net/baudeville/
on, and you'll be happy to know that it works even if you're not
using Netscape. Try lynx, mosaic, or anything else. There should
also be a link from my page by the time you get this issue.
Administrivia...
================
Beyond Eternity (ISSN 1203-5416) is a monthly serial that is
written (for the most part) and compiled by Sanjay Singh, and then
edited by Paul Sheen and Sanjay Singh. You can find older (or even
current) issues from any of these places...
mail: eternity@cyberspace.org
web: http://www.interlog.com/~vash/eternity.html
ftp: ftp.etext.org: /pub/Zines/Eternity/
gopher: gopher.etext.org (follow the prompts)
usenet: alt.zines
subscriptions: Just send me mail, I'll add you to the list. All I
ask is that you let me know what you think about
"Beyond Eternity...", and you can even mention how
you found out about it. It's a small price to pay,
but that's all I ask for.
As always, if you have a question, comment, statement, rant,
or anything, feel free to let me know. (Who knows, you might even
feel better that you did it.) There's always room for me to
improve, and there's always room for outside contributions. When
I say that one person can make a difference, that includes you.
Rules Of The Game
=================
I take full responsibility of the overall content here. There
might be other writers but what goes into this is my choice.
Copyright is held by whoever wrote the article, and if it doesn't
say who they were, then it was me. I'd strongly suggest asking
them for permission before you reprint anything that was written in
here (this includes my stuff). Chances are that I won't object,
but I'd still like to know.
In past issues of The Eternity Articles, I was asked if what
I had written was true. I'll state this for the record now,
"everything I write is true to me". As for the other writers,
well, you'd have to ask them. As a general rule I'm not going to
print pure fiction anymore, unless I think that it has a message
that's worth relaying.
I think that's all that needs to be said. Talk to you next
month.
Sanjay Singh (2/27/96)
