blah-014

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

BLaH

 · 25 Apr 2019

  

                        Your President and You 
              Ü ÜßÝ   Ü             Ü   Ü  
               ßÝ ßÝ   Ý             Ý   Ý 
                Ý  Û   Ý             Ý   Ý 
    BLaH        Ý ß    Ý      ÜßÜ    Ý   Ý 
    File        ÝßÜ    Ý        ÜÝ   ÝßÝÜÝ        Written August 4th, 1992 
    #014        Ý  Ýig Ýong  ÜßÝ Ýnd Ý   Ýairy 
                Ý  Ý   Ý    Þ    Ý   Ý   Ý 
                ÝÜß    ÝÜÜÝ  ßÜÜßÞ  ÜÝ   ÞÜ 
                 
                         Presents 
                 Ú          ÄÄ            ¿ 
                  "Your President And You" 
                 ³          by            ³ 
                        Constantine 
                 À          ÄÄ            Ù 

        You know, just because he's in charge of the day-to-day task of 
running the nation doesn't mean that the president doesn't want to hear 
what YOU, the little guy on the street, think of his performance.  Really! 
The president may not read every letter that comes across his desk, but 
if something important is coming his way, he'll hear about it. 
        That's why you should pick up pen and paper and jot off a little 
note to our favourite archconservative nazi and let him know how you feel. 
But wait!  Maybe, if the letter is a little rude, it wouldn't be such a 
good idea to put YOUR name on it.  How about someone ELSE's name and 
address?  Say...  An enemy of yours? 
        Let's say there's this guy, Chuck Schmuck, who's been giving you 
a bit of trouble.  Not being the political type, Chuck would never tell 
the president what you KNOW he is thinking, so why not be a nice guy and 
do it for him?  Just whip out your trusty word processor and type up  
something like this: 

                                                Chuck Schmuck 
                                                111 Jock St. 
                                                Littledick, NJ. 
Dear Mr. Bush, 
        I think you suck.  Not only I think you suck, but God does too. 
In fact, God told me to kill you with my sniper rifle.  I think I will. 
Don't get too close to your windows, because I'm going to wait till you 
least expect it, then blow your head off.  So there. 
                                        Yours Truly, 
                                                Chuck Schmuck 

        If you have a talent for forgery, you can even sign and envelope 
this letter so your "friend" doesn't even have to see it!  Aren't you  
a nice person for being so considerate?  In a few days, Mr. Schmuck will 
most likely be thoroughly investigated, tapped, and permanantly marked 
by our beloved secret service.  He might even recieve a visit from the 
Guys in Dark Glasses!  Can you say "jail term for threatening a President's 
life", boys and ghouls? 
        Isn't America wonderful? 

{---End of File... Safe-T-Nutz v0.90á says "3279 Bytes Total-------------} 

No, but that's beside the point.. 

Want some more of this rubbish? Call the 

BLaH <sigh>ts: 

Nun-Beaters Anonymous | <708>251-5094 | 110/16.8k 
Hell Bound            | <708>965-8965 | 2400/14.4k 
The Insane Asylum     | <305>927-3028 | 2400/16.8k 
The Realm of Death    | <419>475-3089 | 2400/16.8k 

{---Point of no return... don't read beyond this, it's just crap---------}