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Money Incorporated Digest 14
MONEY INC. DIGEST #14
RELEASED 16 APRIL 1994
KEYED AND CONCIEVED BY SLEEPY
MONEY INC MEMBERS:
SLEEPY
SONIC FURY
THE BIG CHEESE
METHOD MAN
CCRIDER
GREETS GO OUT TO (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER): .44 Magnum, Subhumanz and the rest
of LSD (thanx for publishing my article Pazza!), Nighthawk and Radiance (some
of them at least...), Loons, and if I forgot you, sorry, considering the trauma
my brain has been through it's understandble...
TODAY'S TOPIC: THE 900 NUMBER SCAM AND SOME FAST FOOD ANARCHY
DISCLAIMER: YOU SUCK, FACE IT. IT'S NOT MY FUCKIN FAULT.
Note: These two articles have been released before, in Phrack 45. However
considering the size of Phrack magazines, and the number of people who don't
read the entire magazine, I have elected to share with you parts of these
articles, with some commentary of my own. These two articles are the epitome
of what MONEY INC. stands for: Ripping people off and pissing people off.
(Just thought I'd let you know before you accuse me of plagarism. Like I
give a shit anyway.)
TODAY'S THOUGHT: WIN IF YOU MAY, LOSE IF YOU MUST, BUT ALWAYS, ALWAYS CHEAT.
- BOBBY HEENAN (MY HERO)
* FRAUDULENT APPLICATION OF '900' SERVICES *
Getting Started
In setting up your own 900 number, you earn a big percentage of the net revenue
generated by calls made to that number. You can advertise and promote your
number in various and sundry ways in an extremely competitive environment,
or--if you so happen to be a hacker--you can simply dial up some PBXes and call
the number yourself. Since you'll be earning several dollars per minute, you
won't be in any hurry to hang up. In fact, you may find yourself letting the
phone stay off the hook while you chat on IRC or read the latest Phrack.
Though not a scheme to get rich, this can provide a considerable income or
simply an occasional bonus, depending on your h/p resourcefulness and effort
exerted.
Before you can start calling your own 900 number and making yourself money, you
need to buy into the 900 business. On your next outing for the latest copy of
Hustler, grab a USA Today. In the classifieds, (as well as many other business
classifieds), under the heading "business opportunities," you'll notice any
number of 900 ads. You want to find a "service bureau" and not a simple
"reseller," so shop around and call a number of the companies, asking about
percentages and whether or not your setup costs (usually ranging from $300 to
$1500) are comprehensive for the year or whether you'll have to pay a monthly
fee. Avoid these pesky monthly maintenance fees. All sorts of 900 packages
exist, but you want an automated service--such as a dateline--that is ready to
all as soon as you've paid. This means you'll have no equipment to set up, or
900 trunks terminating at your house, or hookers to hire, etc. The service
bureau provides you with the number and the service, so all you have to do is
market the number (should you be legit). You can bargain a little on the setup
fee. An example of a worthwhile deal would be as follows: an automated
dateline number (similar to a voice ail system, only you listen to personal ads
and have the option of leaving a response) for $750/year, a per minute rate of
$3.99, and a 75% net return (i.e., you make about $3.00/min). AT&T and MCI
provide 900 services to the service bureaus. AT&T is preferable, as you
receive payment two months after the end of the calling month, as opposed to
three months with MCI--so ask about this too. Your continued efforts will reap
a monthly check thereafter.
The service bureau actually sends you the check. You'll want it in a personal
name to make it easier to cash with your bogus ID. Some bureaus will "factor"
your account, meaning that if you've accumulated a lot of credits, they will
pay you in advance of their getting paid by the carrier--for a percentage fee.
Don't try to scam them on this; your account is scrutinized closely before a
premature check is approved. If everything is done properly, both you and the
service bureau will be happy. [That's what's so great about this project:
everyone wins--you, the service bureau, even AT&T--only the PBX owner loses!]
You will be able to check your credits, or "minutes" as called in the 900
industry, by calling a special number provided by the service bureau. After
entering your account codes, an automated response will give you statistics
such as daily call reports and total minutes accumulated for the billing month.
Be sure to find out about the virtual end-of-month date. The end of each
billing period is not necessarily the last day of the month. Accordingly, you
will need to plan your attacks with this in mind, as we will discuss next.
Getting A Date
Now that you've set up your dateline, you'll be anxious to start earning the
three bucks a minute. The dateline makes it kind of fun, since you get to hear
all kinds of ridiculous messages and the typical horny soliloquy. Get a
speakerphone if you lack one now.
You don't necessarily need PBXes--any outdials you find that complete a 900 call
will suffice. However, the lines targeted must be those of a business, one
that is large enough to own a PBX. Calling on residential lines, cell phones,
or from small businesses will not work--the owners will get their bill, and
simply call the phone company and complain that they didn't make the call.
This will attract undesired attention to your line by the LEC and your
service bureau, and it will also cost you in that the carrier connect fees,
about .25 and .30 per minute, will be deducted from your account. The LD
carriers get theirs, whether the party pays or not. This is why the calling
method encouraged here is the PBX. If you can manipulate central office
switches, do so by these same principles.
PBX owners tend to pay their phone bills--including 900 calls that aren't
outrageous. They'll assume that one of their own employees made the call, if
they even notice. Instead of attempting to exploit a PBX to some astronomical
degree, you're better off running up a mere fifty to sixty dollar charge. Do
this every month as part of a schedule. Not only may it go unnoticed, but you
are assured that it will go uncontested even if detected. Running up an
excessive number of minutes risks unneeded attention and assures either a total
"killing" of the PBX, or at minimum, 900 restrictions added by the PBX
administrator. Even with a remote admin access, your luck will run out.
Remember: YOU WILL ONLY GET PAID IF THE PBX OWNER PAYS THE PHONE BILL!
With this in mind, the most limiting factor is the number of PBXes you can
accumulate. The widespread raping of AT&T's System 75/85/Definity in 1992 (as
a result of discoveries in 1991) made that year extremely ripe for this 900
scheme. Many of us managed to accumulate large collections of System 75s,
including the elusive Super Nigger, who allegedly compiled over 300. (Where
the hell were you hiding?) AT&T security memorandums have since killed
hundreds of these, but the defaults still work well in some cities.
Regardless, PBXes abound, and the more you find, the more minutes you can
generate.
Let's look at a sample attack schedule:
PBX # M T W Th F S Su
01 15m
02 10m
03 8m
04 14m
05 16m
06 24m
07 12m
08 13m
09 16m
10 2m,10m
11 13m
12 4m,4m
Twelve PBXes are to be attacked in the sample week, so there are probably fifty
PBXes totally to be attacked for the month. Each PBX is to be used only once
per
billing period. You will get many months of use out of each PBX with this
conservative approach, so long as every hacker west of Poland doesn't have
access as well. Notice how the number of connection minutes varies, and the
calling pattern is quite random looking. The schedule is maintained not only
to keep track of PBXes in your harem you've fucked for the month, but to assist
you in generating minutes in a pseudo-random pattern. It is acceptable to have
your minutes generated in a pattern, albeit a loose one. For instance, if all
minutes are generated only on the weekend, a discerning eye will not attribute
this to the type of marketing you are using. The sample schedule is only the
ideal model. Having to rigid a pattern, however, such as having an exact
number of calls each day, is potentially suspicious to your service bureau.
Simultaneous calls to your 900 number through different outgoing trunks on the
same PBX is also strongly discouraged.
Listening Software
Calling your 900 dateline number is fun, but when you've got over a hundred
PBXes to hit each month for an average of fifteen minutes a pop, the novelty
tends to wear off. Of course you can have a speakerphone and a time and go
about other tasks between calls, but why not write a program that will enable
your modem to do all this for you? All the program must do is have the modem
call a PBX from a list, pause, and call your 900 (or another PBX and then your
900, for LD PBX attacks). Once connected to your 900, it must stay "listening"
until a random timer (10-20 minutes) hangs it up. Depending upon your dateline
service, the modem may have to emit a DTMF every once in a while to keep the
service convinced you're still there. This is a very worthwhile program to
write--it can drastically reduce your total time spent with this operation,
leaving you with only the PBX list to maintain (additions and deletions), and
the spending of your hard-earned cash (the novelty of this WON'T wear off).
Large Charge-Rate Option
A 900 number can be set up to charge as much as $50 per call. Whether the call
lasts less then a minute, or for over ten, the cost for the caller is the same
$50. In order to set up such an account, you must qualify as an "Information
Provider," or IP. Regulations on 900 numbers state that you must be a provider
of information, not tangible goods. With a dateline, the information is
included in your deal with the service bureau, so you are considered an IP.
The bureau can provide you with your own number that terminates in a voice
processing or audio-text system, but now you must provide the actual
information. Your idea must be approved by the LD carrier, and they tend to
scrutinize your plans the higher your desired rate. Your bureau may even
subject your service to a test to make sure it's not a fake.
One idea is to ask for a $25 per-call rate. Make like a writer of shareware
programs, and have your 900's announcement ask the caller to leave name and
address to be legally registered to use the software, and to receive updated
versions. A confirmation notice will be sent to acknowledge the registration.
Many bureaus will accept this as qualification for IP status, if properly
presented. A sample arrangement like this should not cost more than a grand to
set up. Stats on minutes are checked just as with the dateline, only you'll
receive any messages left by callers, and you'll receive any messages left by
callers, and you'll be able to change the announcements--just like voice mail.
[IT's always a thrill to call a 900 number and hear yourself thanking the
caller, heh heh.] On a $25 line, you should net about $19 per call.
All the same rules apply using this large charge-rate setup. You can't abuse a
PBX any more with this option then with a dateline. It does give you the added
flexibility for methods used other than PBXes, such as outdials that will only
connect briefly. For instance, message notification on voicemail will not
connect to a number for prolonged durations, but long enough to activate a $25
charge. And a typical modem outdial on a mainframe will soon hang up with the
absence of an answering carrier, but the linger is long enough for a $25 call.
And with CO switching, the arrangements you make are ideally temporary--turned
quickly on and off--making a fast $25 hit optimal. Lastly, if you are skilled
in accessing corporate phone closets (see "Physical Access and Theft," Phrack
43) or the corresponding outside plant, you can use your test set to call your
900. Obviously a large charge-rate would be better here too, rather than
standing for endless periods of time in compromising positions connected to a
squawking dateline.
No matter how you access business lines, be sure they belong to a large
company. Definitely experiment, but do so in moderation--make any necessary
notes (like time and date of call) and wait for your 900 billing statement to
see if the call was paid for. [Your billing statement, essentially a call
accounting summary, is created for each billing month by the LD carrier and
sent to you via the service bureau with your check. It includes the calling
phone numbers, time, date, duration, etc. of all calls made to your number.]
A Final Word
It would be hard to get "busted" doing anything mentioned in this article.
Even if you're nabbed for misdemeanor PBX abuse, no one will ever imagine--let
alone try to prove--that the 900 number you were calling is your own. [Hey,
you're just a desperately lonely guy!] However, be wary of pen registers
(DNRs) if you've been up to other dark deeds, and set up your calling
operations at a safer place. Don't check your minutes using any of the same
means that you use to generate them (a record of your calling into your 900
backdoor is probably the most incriminating track you can make). Keep your 900
account anonymous, as with your address, voice mail, and ID/SSN.
SLEEPY'S NOTES: WELL, THIS SCAM DOES WORK. SIMPLY PUT. ALL I CAN SAY IS
TRY IT FOR YOURSELF, AND FOLLOW THE FILE EXPLICITLY, SINCE IT IS EXTREMELY
WELL WRITTEN. EVEN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THE ILLEGAL PART, 900'S ARE
AN EASY WAY TO MAKE MONEY IF YOU HAVE INFO THAT PEOPLE WANT. DON'T SET
UP AN H/P NUMBER THOUGH, SINCE NO ONE WILL PAY FOR IT, AND YOU WON'T GET
PAID EITHER.
THIS NEXT ARTICLE IS ESPECIALLY FOR CCRIDER....HOWEVER, MOST OF YOU WHO LIKE
TO RAISE A LITTLE HELL WILL ENJOY IT. NOTE: THESE SCAMS CAN BE DONE AT MOST
FAST FOOD JOINTS.
FUCKING WITH MICKEY DEE'S
- Charlie X -
INTRODUCTION
Ok... everyone is familiar with the world's largest and fastest
growing fast food chain, McDonald's. The founder, Ray "Crock", wanted an
environment where families and friends could get food with friendly
service at any time of the day... Boy, what a crock, at least now.
To top everything off, McDonald's attacks decent food establishments
by criticizing the food content... not like you'll find anything not
genetically engineered in McDonald's food... Everyone must realize that
McDonald's sucks, and you must do your part to put the fucking place out
of commission...
As far as I can tell, everyone in McDonald's is rude and has an
attitude, from the management to the customer. They, as most
restaurants do, firmly believe THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT. This is
true even when the customer is an asshole with blind disregard for
everyone and everything. This is where you come in... Here are a few
things that you can do to put your local McDonald's in it's place...
Recently in the news, a major group sited McDonald's as the most
environmentally responsible establishment on the planet (note: this is
even over green peace and Sally Struthers)... how the hell is this
possible?
SENIOR CITIZENS BENEFIT DAY/WEEK
McDonald's is nice to senior citizens. Every McDonald's offers
free or reduced price meals or drinks to Senior citizens... Now, all
you have to do is attract them. For a minimal price, you can publish
an ad in the local newspaper, or publish your own flier (can be
cheaply made) which explains that a certain day/week, your local
McDonald's will recognize senior citizens with free food, coffee,
senior activities, you know... a big senior social. You may want to
mention that other organizations will be there to speak and make the
whole "event" decent... Now, if your McDonald's already offers
free/reduced coffee, food, or sodas, this will definitely break them,
and cause them to order much more supply, and could even cause them
to run out of coffee or soda for the rest of the day... on the other
hand, if they don't offer this, the mass crowd of old people asking
for shit will certainly piss someone off... This has been tested, and
as a result, a McDonald's had to close for a day to reorganize and
reorder supplies, as well as "launch an investigation" about this
Day, but they never turned up anything.
GARBAGE CAN TRICKS
Since McDonald's is usually a busy restaurant, the trash bags
fill up quickly and must be changed frequently (but never are.) There
are several things you can do to the trash cans. For starters, ask
for hot or boiling water. If you don't want to attract attention by
doing this, bring in your own really hot water... boil it, put it in
a Styrofoam cup or a thermos... once in McDonald's, locate the filled
trash can (should not be hard to find) and dump the hot water down
the side. Not only will this melt the side of the bag, causing the
trash to go everywhere, the person who takes out the garbage must
pick up all the trash by hand and dump out the trash can with water
in the bottom. This also soaks the trash, breaks up paper, and makes
the whole experience quite unpleasant, but hilarious to watch.
Another easy trick is to walk up to the trash can areas, take
the trays sitting above the trash cans, and simply throw them in all
the cans. This will either make the employee fish them out by hand,
or will cause the restaurant to be short of several trays, which
becomes quite annoying.
FOOD TRICKS
There are several things to do with the food. Since there is
probably something wrong with it in the first place, you might want
to simply make the problem bigger... Before you enter the restaurant,
cut some of your hair, or hair off of a pet. When at your table,
place the hair all over the inside of the burger. When the line at
the counter is long, and everyone is busy, cut up to the front of the
counter, and start complaining about your burger. Show EVERYONE the
hair inside the burger. You will get another burger, and most likely,
a lot of free shit so you will come back. You will also cause most
everyone to leave, and people in the kitchen to get shit on by the
manager.
ON A BUSY DAY...
Busy days are the best. Customers are in a hurry, so are the
employees... everyone has a short fuse and usually do not pay
attention to what you say, or get very pissed. Ask for real dumb
shit... For example, "I'd like a 69 piece Chicken McNugget." The best
thing to do is to order a simple cheeseburger, and screw it all up
with special orders... For example, "I'd like a cheeseburger, with
extra cheese, no mustard, extra catsup, extra onions, lettuce,
tomato, a real little dab of mayo, and make it well done... oh wait,
I don't want cheese anymore. Just put extra lettuce on it... [wait
for them to send the order back to the kitchen]... then Oh, wait,
sorry... I just want a BigMac." You can also say, "I'd like a medium
Coke with just 4 pieces of ice in it." They will always do what you
say... Keep in mind that special orders do not cost extra, so you can
order a hamburger, ask for extra mustard, catsup, and somewhere in
there, casually mention extra cheese... 9 times out of 10 this
works... and you don't get charged. NOTE: if you hear a printer
printing followed by 3 beeps somewhere in the kitchen, your grill
order was printed, and will be made... so change it after you hear
that.
In some McDonald's, you will find the "Need A Penny - Take a
Penny," Where people put in their loose change in case someone else
is short some money... steal ALL the money in this. In one month, I
made $42.71 from stealing the money from all the Need A Penny cups in
my area... This is a good secondary income for lazy people.
If you plan on a big order, start off by telling the person you
just want a soda. After they give a total and get ready to take your
money, add an item. Keep saying "That's it" and repeat this process
until you have what you wanted, and have wasted several minutes. You
can also have the cashier repeat your order as many times as you
wish, also wasting time.
THE INQUIRING CUSTOMER
McDonald's managers pride themselves in knowing the answers,
and employees like to pretend that they do. So, on a busy day, keep
asking dumb questions... Here are a few to ask... Oh, never actually
order anything... just hold up the line with your questions. Here are
a few questions to ask:
- "How is your meat prepared at the factory?"
- "What part of the chicken does the McNugget come from?"
- "Who was the BigMac named after?"
- "What is the post-cooked weight of your quarter pounder?"
- "Where does your <pick a vegetable> come from?"
- "How fresh is your <McD product>?"
- "What is the square root of 69.666?"
- "What is the nutritional value of a 9 piece McNugget box?"
DRIVE-THRU FUN
McDonald's videos tell the employees that the Drive Thru makes
up for more than 40% of the average McDonald's business. Simply put,
this system needs a lot of work. The speakers rarely work, and you
usually get your order screwed up. The first thing to do is to take
your car and back over the cut square in the pavement right beside
the order sign several times. This causes a loud annoying "bong" to
be heard by everyone with a headset... eventually the manager will
come out with a weapon, and this is where you leave.
Another thing to do is to drive up, and say, "I just want a lot
of butter..." or "I'd like a large penis to go please." Usually,
people in the drive thru service will laugh or screw something up,
and you will get yelled at by the manager... waaah.
If you want free food, order something in the drive thru. Keep
your window down to listen to other orders. After you receive your
food, park and enter the restaurant. Go to the front of the line and
tell the person on duty that your order was screwed up... it helps to
remember what someone else's order was, and then you just ask for
that... you will get it. Sometimes, you even get free food for having
a screwed up order.
This prank requires guts, but can be somewhat amusing. Simply drive
up in front of the sign, turn your engine off, and go inside the restaurant
and eat. There's always room to park in the drive-thru lane... You could also
tell the drive-thru person that your car stalled, and you will have to call
the motor club. This can put a drive-thru out of commission until you decide
to move your car.
If you happen across a McDonald's that is expecting deliveries, or has
cleaned the parking lot, you will notice traffic cones. You can move these
cones around the drive-thru sign. Some people are stupid and will drive thru
them anyway, so you may want to place a sign saying "DRIVE THRU CLOSED -
- SORRY - MANAGEMENT." You can also place a legitimate order at the drive thru
and right after your order, you can put a sign on the drive-thru sign saying
the same "closed" message. The drive thru sensor does not sense foot traffic,
so you can walk up to the sign and put one there...
The drive thru headsets can be a good source of amusement. When
ordering, mumble your order, scream it real loud, or say it like the
microphone is cutting out, for example, "I'd like to order a LARGE
ibbit-obbt-ibbit-urger with no Sa... and extra <crackle> and I'd also
like a Med<cut> Oke." When they ask you to repeat, do the exact same
thing. Remember, that as soon as you drive up to the sign, they can
hear everything in your car... even if they are not talking. As soon
as they ask for your order, turn your stereo up real loud, and begin
to say your order... this screws everything up... Also, ask for a
hotdog, or an item that you know they don't have. If you have the
guts, are really bored, and are not driving YOUR car, take them
seriously when they say "please drive through." This would be the
ultimate action, putting your local McDonald's out of business.
If you have a simple shortwave transceiver, Ham Radio, or powerful
handheld transceiver, you can talk to the entire drive-thru crew.
The antenna is located above the cashier in the drive-thru box and has
a receiving radius of the entire store and about half of the parking lot.
You can add stuff to peoples orders, or just screw around. Drive thru
people have noticed that illegally powerful CB radios, side band radios
and even some car phones can be picked up with the headsets. Be innovative
and use these to piss the employees off. If you do not have access to one,
simply hide behind the sign, and shout extra food or obscenities at
the sign...
GREASE DISPOSAL FUN
This next trick involves little or no intelligence, or imagination,
but seems to get people every time. Behind McDonald's, usually found next
to trash cans or the empty soda-syrup containers, you will find a large
drum marked "not-fit for human consumption" or "inedible contents."
Although these warnings belong in the food, they mark the grease vat. This
is tightly sealed for a reason... it smells like dead human. They are also
easy to open. Usually, you can loosen the ring around the top and open
the lid. Be sure to cover your face when you do this... it does smell like
shit... The nice thing about this is that the smell will cover the entire
parking-lot area in roughly 10 minutes. Chemically, the smell will cause
nausea, and definitely a loss in appetite. People will get sick everywhere,
and definitely cause a loss of customers at McDonald's...
A simple addition to the previous trick would be to tip the can. The
grease will probably have hardened, but on a warm day or if the black
can is left in the sun, it will leave a sticky, raunchy mess in the
parking lot that will be impossible to clean up, and will stink infinitely.
This is a way to make the trick more damaging and longer lasting.
DUMPSTER FUN
McDonald's, or any fast food restaurant usually has a high volume of
garbage output (not including the food). If you can travel around and
find large objects, you can dispose of them in the trash containers. If
you clog them up, not only will the store have to pay for an extra
collection of trash (to remove what you put in there), They'll have to pay
extra for later (or earlier) you do it, as well as what kind of objects
you put in there. You can also put the empty silver soda containers, bread
racks, or even signs and loose McDonald's shit in the trash. They won't
appreciate the loss, and it's gonna cost them money at both ends. Lame
but definitely effective.
PHONE ORDER PHUN
One thing that is not very well known is that McDonald's accepts phone
orders. This is a simple process. A serious, adult sounding voice can call
a local McDonald's and claim that they have a large order that they would like
ready for pickup. You supply a BS phone number, a BS name, and a BS order. The
larger it is the better. Usually give about a half an hour to an hour notice
to have the order ready. Good reasons for the orders are usually family get-
togethers, meetings at local universities, etc. The university excuses are much
better, because you can supply a college phone number (found in the phone book)
and if they call (the usually don't) to verify the order, they will get the
office, and will think it's legitimate. This prank is a beauty because after
the manager takes the order, it is given directly to the kitchen, who begins the
order. Again, they very rarely verify the orders, so it is easy to pull these
off. To make this prank better, you should throw in mass quantities of food
items that people NEVER eat -- Filet O' "Fish", Fajitas, etc... You can also
call them back at the time of pickup, and say "sorry, we decided to eat at
burger king..." DO NOT enter the restaurant and ask to buy the items at a
cheaper price, like the old pizza man trick... that's just lame.
COMPUTER PHUN
A nice thing about McDonald's is that it is linked via computer (and modem)
to OakBrook, Illinois. Check your local phone book for a McDonald's with 2
lines.
The second line is usually the computer line. You may also try Information.
If you aren't able to get the number, read these next 3 parts...
- McDonald's are listed by Restaurant number in the phonebook. You can
retrieve the number, then call the restaurant, asking for the manager.
When the manager identifies himself, with his name, you write the
name down, and tell him to get bent or something. With that information,
you can call McDonald's 800 number, or any McDonald's Corporation HQ
number
in OakBrook, Illinois (they will relay your call). You say you haven't
been receiving updates or any purchase orders, you identify yourself,
and your store number, and location (city, state...). They will check
the listings, and read off the phone number of the computer. If they
won't give it to you, they will allow you to change the computer number,
where you give them your enemies phone number or something, and they
will get called by modem repeatedly...
- Call your local McDonald's, identify yourself as Bill Haggan of Computer
Services, McDonald's, Oakbrook... etc. Say you are updating your records,
and need the computer telephone number. Get the number, then give them
a bullshit verification number.
- This is not very imaginative, but it works... it's also risky... wooooo.
Find the phone box, open the user service box, connect any phone with an
RJ-11 adaptor to the box and type your local ANI number (211, 811-9967)
etc... do that for each line that enters the restaurant. Then reconnect
it... you have the numbers.
Now that you have the numbers, there is a lot you can do. It is not wise to
enter the computer. Although goodies are buried there, any changes you make are
corrected that night with a verification call. It is also verified voice.
However, everything in the restaurant is connected to the computer. Once you
call the number, and connect to the computer, just sit there. The computer
freezes all time clocks, order programs, etc. Every display will be marked
"BUSY." This prevents anyone from punching in or out, the manager from checking
labor, printing schedules, do inquiries about anything... basically interrupt
most managerial and owner duties. If you find a constant busy signal, this
is very easy to correct. Simply ask for an operator interrupt. If the operator
breaks in, the beep will hang up the modem, allowing you to call right in.
This prank does have profound effects on the McDonald's. It is highly
recommended.
FREE SHIT AT McDonald's
Yes, I do mean shit... If you are involved in that fucking money crunch
like everyone else, and you feel that your money should be spent on better
things, rather than shitty food, here are a few pointers for free food.
These have all been tested. If you are caught in the act of getting free
food, nothing will happen, and it will be a big source of amusement...
Cheeseburger - On a busy drive-thru day, you can ask for a special order.
Ask for a hamburger with an extra item, like mustard or
something, and casually sneak in "extra cheese." If the
employees are stupid enough (a given), and the grill doesn't
question it, you will find yourself with a nice fresh
cheeseburger for the price of a hamburger... whoopee...
Any Item - The BEST thing to do is order something in the drivethru,
and then come in the restaurant with the bag from drive
thru and say "You forgot ..." If you ask the employees at
the counter, 9 times out of 10, you will get it... To be
on the safe side, you may want to go home, call the
McDonald's, say you went through the drive thru and you
didn't get your food item. You can give a bullshit name
or whatever, usually they don't even take the name, and
the next time you go in, you say you called, and you will
get gift certificates or free food... works every time.
BASTARDIZING FOOD ITEMS
If you want to attract a certain degree of attention to yourself, and
make employees and customers laugh, when you order food, fuck up the names
to say something cool... You'll still get the food you don't want, and this
too is a source of amusement. Spur-of-the-moment name bastardizations are
by far the funniest, but here are a few suggestions...
SHMEGMA MAC, SHMEGMA SACK - instead of Mega Mac (shmegma is Dick Cheese)
CHICKEN McFUCKUPS - Chicken McNuggets (be sure to ask for the 69 piece)
McDICKEN - McChicken (ask for extra Mayo and smile...)
CHOKE - Coke (I'd like a small choke with no ice)
McRIBBED FOR HER PLEASURE - McRib... Do they still make this?
FAGINA - Fajita (I'd like a FAGINA with extra cheese...)
IMPORTANT
Remember that McDonald's slogan is Food, Folks, and Fun...
Just take the "fun" part to the limit... You sort of have to compensate
for the asshole "folks" and the shit "food."
If you get bored, start molesting kids on the
playland or just break shit... throwing salt shakers (plastic or
glass) at the outside wall of the McDonald's is fun too... take
advantage of whatever there is in McDonald's... there are infinite
possibilities to create your local McDonald's an utter McHell. Don't
consider it illegal (most of it isn't...) consider it more of a
public service. Yeah... That's it.
SLEEPY'S NOTES: AGAIN, NOT MUCH I CAN SAY HERE. YOU SHOULD TRY THIS STUFF
EVERY TIME YOU GO TO MC DONALDS AND ANY OTHER FAST FOOD PLACE. THEY'RE GIVING
YOU CANCER, ULCERS AND GOD KNOW WHAT ELSE, WHY NOT FUCK WITH THEM A LITTLE?
COPYWRONG 1994 MONEY INC. PUBLISHING
ALL RIGHTS DIVIDED AND CONQURED.
MONEY INC. IS:
SLEEPY - FOUNDER AND LEADER
SONIC FURY - FOUNDER AND LEADER
THE BIG CHEESE
METHOD MAN
CCRIDER
Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do.
