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The Hogs of Entropy 1030
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$$ .d""b. .d""b. HOE E'ZINE #1030
[-- $$""b. $$ $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------- --]
$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ss$$ "Me And My Monkey"
$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ by Me...
$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ 02/27/00
[-- $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------- --]
$$ $$ "TssT" "TssT"
My finger traced an invisible spiral in the air--over and over--
first in one direction, then the other. Anita told me that you acquired
power this way--power to fly--it wasn't something you found in a book.
Anita was my advisor in these affairs. She knew lots of weird crap. She
was very special. And after five minutes tracing the same imaginary
spiral over and over, it occurred to me that we used to BURN special people.
Anita said that Power was serious business. Pointless tasks were
to test your sincerity. I asked her how much tracing it took to prove
myself sincere, worthy of the secrets of flying. She said about three
days. This wasn't going to be easy. Evidently, Power was something you
earned. But I did have an edge--experience.
Repetitive, mindless activity was more than just an old familiar
tune, it was my life. I was bored shitless. I wanted thrills and kicks,
but I was marooned in a dull, predictable world with a hungry monkey on
my back screaming, "Get WEIRD! Do something STRANGE!" That's why I
wanted to fly. At least, I hoped I wanted too--three days sounded like
purgatory.
Fifteen grueling minutes passed. Suddenly, it happened--I got
weird. REALLY weird. I watched in frozen terror while a hideous,
drooling monster burst into the room and hacked off my limbs with an
engraved set of Ginsu knives. My flesh was stripped away, finely sliced,
and mixed into a boiling cauldron of me-gumbo. My bones were tossed out
back in Biro's food bowl (Biro was my dog, a Lab/Tongue mix that came
with the place). Soon, I found myself buried in a hole he dug next
door--in the Cat Lady's yard. I looked like hell, and I'd lost my damn
lighter again.
I was floating in a black, warm goop. Strange voices cried out.
Demons who promised fabulous wealth wanted me to invest in East European
Emerging Market Funds. But I refused to listen (I only read the booklet
to qualify for the free telephone). At last I saw the flying spirits. I
learned the big secret of flying wasn't how you flapped your arms, the
trick was all in the shoulder movement. I learned many things. I almost
quit smoking. . . . . . . . . . .
The ancient ones vanished from the sound of shoveling earth. It
was Anita.
"Where the hell have you been? I've been digging all over for you?"
We spent a quiet afternoon together. Neither of us talked. I'd
changed and she knew what it meant.
The monkey on my back awoke. It was screaming, "Thrill me! Thrill
me!" Time to feed the monkey.
"I don't know how I ever put up with you," she said.
I never figured that one out myself.
"Watch out for jets up there, okay? And think about me. Will you
do that? Will you look down and think about me?"
"Always."
And I flew. I soared and swooped. I banked and turned somersaults.
I chased gulls and stole wet laundry hanging in the breeze. I terrorized
an outdoor wedding and put cats in tall trees. I even tangled kites in
power lines and snatched hats from old people. I was being a shit. It
was the greatest time of my life. I floated high on the wind and looked
down on a helpless city below, wondering what misery I could spread next.
Then I saw a tiny, familiar house. And I remembered. I missed
things. Little things. Silly things. I flew home.
She'd gone. A note on the refrigerator said: FEED THE DOG! I fed
him. Later, I took Biro for a walk on the beach. While he played in the
water, I squished wet sand between my toes. I climbed on a big rock near
the shore and tossed pennies into the ocean. When you tossed one, you
were supposed to make a wish. Sometimes they come true and sometimes they
don't--that's just the way it is with wishes. But I didn't care. I had
a pocket full of pennies. I wondered what I should wish...?
I wished her well.
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[ (c) HOE E'ZINE -- http://www.hoe.nu HOE #1030, BY ME... - 02/27/00 ]
