Anada 259

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Anada

 · 21 Aug 2019

  

                              
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    '   anada                  "J'accuse Xmas"                   13 jan  ' 
   '     259                     by Schoolboy                     2001    ' 
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        So Christmas (or Xmas as I like to write because I’m a rather sad, 
 pedantic atheist) has been and gone and thank fuck for that.  Xmas is even 
 less fun than New Year’s eve as this is forced “enjoyment” with your family. 
 Forced enjoyment is excruciating enough, and there’s scarcely anything worse 
 than when it falls when you’re in a bad mood, but when you have to pretend 
 to have fun AND like all your family you just want to run away screaming. 

        I hope your Xmas was great, by the way, and you got all you wished 
 for from this occasion. 

        It is a cliché that families row during Xmas and why is that?  It’s 
 because it’s Xmas.  We find we put so much pressure on ourselves not only to 
 have fun but to have a sense of togetherness, kinship within the family 
 unit, as it’s forced down our red-raw propaganda slots, that we totally lose 
 it at the slightest sign of discord. 

        It’s the same feeling that Xmas has to be a perfect time, surrounded 
 by loving relatives that drives The Alone to suicide.  Jesus, isn’t Xmas 
 shit? 

        I’m not a Scrooge.  I go significantly into debt to fund the present 
 buying, just so I can justify getting presents.  I confess it puts a smile 
 on my face to get a present right and create gasps of joy from an elderly 
 relative.  I like eating chocolate and drinking rich alcoholic beverages but 
 I don’t really like it in the context of Xmas. 

        Think about it.  What happened 4 Xmases ago.  Can you remember?  Can 
 you remember anything much about Xmas in 1992?  Nope, neither can I. 

        And what’s all this crap about Festive Spirit and “a time to be kind 
 to your fellow man”.  EVERDAY should be a time to be kind to your fellow 
 man!  It should be everyday that your boss comes in and insists we start the 
 working day with a glass of bucks fizz and at least every other day he sends 
 you home an hour early. 

        All right, I went a bit far then but I mean we should help people out 
 and be understanding at all times.  It is typical of Man that we should 
 attempt to come up with a festive “period”.  To ghettoise the community 
 instinct to the depths of winter is poetically telling of our flaws. 

        Still, I suppose without Xmas we wouldn’t get ANY presents or enjoy a 
 short period in the year when bosses smile at you, every other colleague 
 brings in mince pies and chocolates and your employer virtually pays for 
 your food for about a week with Xmas parties. 

        But then without Xmas we wouldn’t have to travel in the worst weather 
 possible for hours visiting family and spending $100 in unleaded (it’s $1.16 
 per litre in Britain!!) to do it which is just about paid for by the Xmas 
 money you get. 

        The only thing you can’t argue about it is it’s going to happen every 
 year for the rest of your life.  Merry life. 
                                                                             
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 `   anada259   by Schoolboy                        (c) 2001 anada e'zine   `