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Cosmic Debris 1996 02

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Cosmic Debris
 · 22 Aug 2019

  


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I S S U E # 9: F E B R U A R Y 1 9 9 6

=============================================================================

DJ Johnson.................Enitor. EDnitor..EDITOR! DAMN!
Louise Johnson.............Assistant Editor
Keeper Of The Debris
Jim Andrews................Web Site Editor
Brainstormin' Buddy
coLeSLaw...................Artist/Trippin' Dude

- The Cosmik Writers -

Jim Andrews..................Urbania (On Vacation)
coLeSLAw.....................Record Reviews
Drew Feinberg................Drew's Views (On Vacation Too)
David Fenigsohn..............Music & Film
Steven Leith.................Political & Between Zero & One
Steve Marshall...............Music & Record Reviews
The Platterpuss..............Record Reviews

And special guest writer Joseph M. Knapp,
who wrote the Bob Dole piece. Thanks, Joe!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S

EDITOR'S NOTES: Details of a project that might just be of interest to
anyone who is a total fanatic about music (like the editor!)

GARAGE SHOCKER: The annual Garage Shock event is one happening that won't
be happening this year. Read the details.

LABELLED - DIONYSUS/HELL YEAH!: We interview Lee Joseph, the main dude at
these great labels.

UP FROM THE UNDERGROUND: David Fenigsohn takes a look at the history of
The Velvet Underground and their recent box set as well.

SCARY BOB'S BIG DAY: Joseph M. Knapp's frightening vision of what an
inagural address by Bob "Senator Gridlock" Dole might be like.
Let us hope it never comes to this!

BOOK REVIEW: Guitar buffs will want to check out this one--Stellas And
Stratocasters, by Willie Moseley.

RECORD REVIEWS: Another big ol' vat of juicy pop, punk and surf, plus
something you never thought you'd see here...A pair of country reviews!
No no no, put down the damned gun! 'Tain't no Garth Brooks garbagio!
I'm talkin' the legit stuff!

BETWEEN ZERO AND ONE: Steven Leith extends his finger toward the wonderful
public servants who want to scrap cyberspace.

DJ RANTS: This month, he's going on about...baseball?

THE DEBRIS FIELD: A random scattering of stuff, items & things!

HOW TO CONTACT US: And where to find free clinics to help you after you do.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

EDITOR'S NOTES
By DJ Johnson

Do you remember the last time you discovered a new musical love? If you're
anything like me, it's almost like starting a romantic relationship. The
initial discovery, the feeling of craving more and more contact, the pepper
spray, the restraining order... Or maybe you're less obsessive than I am and
you just go out and buy a few CDs. That's fine, too, I guess. It's just a
matter of personal style. Right now, thanks to a set of CDs I received for
review, I'm falling in love with bluegrass music. Sounds great in shuffle
mode with The Brood, Man Or Astro-Man and Spinal Tap, too. I don't know
much about this type of music, though, and I want to fix that as quickly as
possible. So where do I go?

Wouldn't it be great if there was a homepage out there on the World Wide
Web that contained a table of contents listing every genre from Acid Jazz
to Zydeco? Where you could find sub listings under each that would link
you to other homepages that either educated you about that music's history
or offered you audio samples, and then gave you several pages of links to
more specific pages dedicated to various bands. Sounds good to me.

Well, it's going to happen. Plans are under way. Several people are
currently brainstorming and creating the outline of what we hope will
become a playground for the true music fanatic. The desire is that it
will be an ever-growing jumping off point where you can easily learn all
about any genre of music on a whim. Say you're a garage fan, and you've
heard of Mod music but you don't have a clue as to what it really is.
You click on MOD, and you get a menu that offers links to sites that
define the genre or teach the history, sites owned by clothing boutiques
that sell Mod gear, motor scooter companies, and homepages for bands
like The Small Faces and The Who. You could lose yourself for hours
surfing and learning.

Imagine you've just heard your first Bob Marley record and you want to know
more about Reggae. Jump to Reggae, click on "Educational Sites" and go
learn about the history, the Rastafarian religion and even find dictionaries
that define the many words used in Reggae that you never heard before.
Now you begin to see the value of a site like this. And the best part is
that the main site is simply a collection of links. What makes it all work
is the cooperation of the Net community.

During this initial phase, we're researching WWW sites so we can link to
them properly. There will eventually be more categories than even we can
imagine at the moment, but here are a few of the things we're sure we'll
need.

WE NEED TO FIND...

* Sites that educate about a genre. (Articles, glossaries, FAQ's, etc.)
* Universities' sites where people can get formal educations online
* Artist Homepages. (Yes, this will be a huge list)
* Sites that are dedicated to music of any genre in specific
geographical regions (Could be anything from the steel drum bands of
Jamaica to the punk bands of Norway)
* Sites that sell music of specific genres
* Sites that sell non-musical supplies that are part of the lifestyle
surrounding a genre (such as the motor scooter shops for mod fans)
* Online zines that relate to music, including ascii-only e-mail zines,
for which we will provide mailto buttons so people can subscribe.
* Recording studio sites
* Music publishing sites
* Any sites having anything to do with the business end of music
* Lyric archives
* Midi archives
* Sites for musical instrument manufacturing companies
* Sites where you can learn how to play instruments or learn songs on the
instruments you already know how to play (such as sites that have guitar
and bass tab)
* And finally, addresses of e-mail lists that might not be on the Big List
Of Music E-Mail Lists.

We'd appreciate your help with this project. Send us the URL's (WWW
addresses) you know of that you think fit our needs via email to
moonbaby@serv.net. We think this is something most of you will love
messin' around with, because we know WE will. Please send us e-mail
if you have some ideas to share, as well.

That's about it. Enjoy the issue!

DJ Johnson
Editor

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

GARAGE SHOCKER! - 1996 GARAGE SHOCK CANCELLED

Dave Crider, owner of Estrus Records and singer/guitarist of The Mono
Men, will announce in the next Sir Estrus Quarterly news letter that
there will be no Garage Shock '96. The yearly event is considered one of
the most important festivals by fans of garage and surf music. Many would
say it is THE most important. People come from all over America and even
beyond, flocking to Bellingham, Washington, to attend the nightly shows,
hang out in the ticket lines and more importantly at the motels and hotels
surrounding the 3B tavern. Bands like Man Or Astro-Man, Impala, Dead Moon,
Southern Culture On The Skids, Supersnazz and The Makers play to packed
houses at the 3B and then hang out with the throng at the motels after the
show. It's a scene.

This year, your travel plans will have to be cancelled. "I felt like
I'd earned a year off," says Crider. "I'm going to the Indy 500." When
asked if the Mono Men's touring schedule had anything to do with the
decision, Crider replied "No, but I'll admit that it will make getting
the Nomads/Mono Men tour together for this summer less stressful."
When was the decision made? "About two weeks ago, but I'd been considering
this for some time."

Is this the end of an era? Not according to Crider, who says that it's
simply a year off and that you can make your travel plans for '97.
"Garage Shock '97 will happen, and as it's the label's 10 year mark, I
plan on havin' one hell of a blowout." What does he plan to do instead
of Garage Shock this year? "More heats of the Estrus Invitationals are
planned, but nothing firm yet." So there you have it. Cancel the airline
tickets and the hotel reservations for '96, but start planning for the
big party in '97.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

LABELLED: DIONYSUS/HELL YEAH RECORDS
Lee Joseph interviewed by DJ Johnson

* * * *

Garage music is forever being called "a dying form." Funny thing is it
never really seems to die. It's changed from time to time, but the
chief elements have remained. When Lee Joseph released the first record
on his Dionysus label, a 1983 single by Yard Trauma, a tradition of
outstanding garage, surf and punk was born. Dionysus and its younger
sibling, Hell Yeah!, continue to provide homes for great bands like The
Brood, The Bomboras and The Boss Martians, each of which have elements
of the new while preserving the best of the old sound. We decided to
seek out the man who brought all these acts together. Lee took a break
from his busy schedule this week and gave us this interview.

* * * *

Cosmik: What kind of music were you into when you were a kid?

LJ: I had a lot of records as a kid. One of my brothers was a DJ in
the late 50s, he took home a box of records, all kinds of stuff,
rock 'n roll, r&b, et cetera. This, and of course, the obligatory
children's records like Disneyland stuff, were amongst my first
records. My brother liked pop-crap and...I did too for a few moments,
Bobby Rydall, Paul Anka. My dad brought home another box of singles
when I was in 3rd grade. Benny Goodman Eps, weird easy listening stuff.
I loved Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass. The radio was a big
influence. I grew up on AM radio, vividly remember all the great one
hit garage-punk tunes. And the British groups; The Animals, Herman's
Hermits, The Rolling Stones, The Who, and of course the American groups,
The Monkees, The Standells, and by the time I was in 6th grade, Jimi
Hendrix, Blue Cheer. AM radio was great. Where else could you hear Blue
Cheer's "Summertime Blues" then Paul Mariot's Orchestra doing "Love Is
Blue" in the same half hour? It's that kind of warped upbringing that
makes me able to play a Martin Denny album right after hearing The
Dwarves "Blood, Guts & Pussy".

Cosmik: And now AM is this wasteland... Have you found any old-school AM
stations out there that'll enthusiastically play a new garage record?

LJ: No but I enjoy talk radio quite a bit, especially Tom Leykis!

Cosmik: Was this what you always wanted to do, or did it evolve from
something else?

LJ: "This" meaning the record label, or this interview? Seriously, I never
planned my life, I used to just live for the moment!

Cosmik: Yeah, but come on, it couldn't have been like "Nothin' on TV today.
Think I'll start a label."

LJ: Really, it just happened! No planning, no decisions, I quite literally
just walked into it!

Cosmik: When was Dionysus born?

LJ: The Greek God? Oh...the RECORD LABEL! Essentially, in a Humanities
class, in my mind! "Dionysus...what a great name for a record label."
Little did I know that no one could pronounce it, let alone know what
the hell it means. Anyway, the first time the name was used was on the
first Yard Trauma single, "Some People", released in November of 1983
or so. The label was a logical extension of a cassette only label I
ran in Tucson during '81-'83. Some strange and diverse sounds came out
on the tape label, about 20 titles. Now, I don't even have half of 'em
for myself!

Cosmik: What about the other half? Is this something we might be hearing
on a comp release someday?

LJ: No, the stuff is way dated, way local, I don't really care to dredge
that stuff up. I haven't even spoken to most of the people on those
recordings for over a decade!

Cosmik: How long did it take to build your reputation? I know it's an
ongoing thing, but when would you say people started to really know
the name Dionysus?

LJ: The fans...early on. '85 or so. It's funny, the name is just now
starting to get recognition. The rest of the world? Who knows?

Cosmik: What were some of your early releases?

LJ: Yard Trauma, Thee Fourgiven, The Cynics, The Untold Fables, The
Beguiled, The Marshmallow Overcoat...

Cosmik: What were you going for? Did you have a philosophy for the
label?

LJ: When I started doing records, I was fed up with contemporary music.
Goth...ugh, metal...ugh...hardcore...got burned on it. I was listening
to old stuff...50s, 60s...and put out bands that were INSPIRED by 60s
garage mania with a punk kinda edge.

Cosmik: So here it is ten or fifteen years later...Are you still excited
by garage now that it's your business?

LJ: Yeah, if the music makes me feel good or rotten or makes me wanna drive
fast or get drunk or stomp or fuck!

Cosmik: What bands do you have currently?

LJ: The Bomboras, The Boss Martians, Hot Damn, Thorazine, and some more....

Cosmik: Is there a particular band that you think epitomises the
Dionysus sound?

LJ: Nope!

Cosmik: Well then let me rephrase it... Is there a band or bands from the
60s that were a big influence on you that you would say gave you a
sound to shoot for with your label, or was the sound another unplanned
thing?

LJ: Definitely an unplanned thing. I love like the old Goldstar sound, the
Kaiser Aluminium Dome sound on all the old Arthur Lyman records, the
sound of the old Capitol studio as captured on everything from Gene
Vincent to Yma Sumac and Baxter records, or the sound of the old Liberty
records, with the reel-to-reel tape echo from hell. It would be near
impossible to capture any of this on my records so I just go with what
we get! Currently we are using an old plate reverb, an old Op-Amp board,
an early 70s 16 track and a late 60s eight track machine. I master my
vinyl at a place that has an old Scully lathe that was at Capitol in
the 50s. We cut with old Westrec heads. And then sometimes, the bands
just give us the tapes they recorded!

Cosmik: Describe the overall scene at Dionysus. Who all is involved
and what do they do?

LJ: Aime Elkins,my beautiful best friend and future wife, "runs" the
label. She does publicity, press promotion and a bit of marketing.
Zebra does mail-order, some marieting and radio promotion. I take
care of production on a very part time basis as I am the buyer and
vice-president of anti-inc.! I was doing the checkbook and bills,
but Aime just took that over a few weeks ago (thank you!)

Cosmik: "Zebra" as in the leader of Hot Damn? I ask as if there are ten
people named Zebra in my neighbourhood alone...

LJ: Yes, of course!

Cosmik: Did she already have the band happening when she started working
for you, or was it the other way around?

LJ: We've known each other for about 11 years. We were married at one time.

Cosmik: How do bands usually wind up on the label? Do you do your own
scouting?

LJ: The occasional demo catches our attention. Sometimes I'll see a group
that knocks me out. Friends bands that I like.

Cosmik: Do you get involved with your bands' tours, like going out on
the road, making arrangements, stuff like that?

LJ: For our "signed" bands, we do publicity and make sure that the press
and stores on the tour route know the band is coming and have their
releases, et cetera. We don't handle any of the touring arrangements
as that is up to the band and their booking agent...

Cosmik: Is there a particular aspect of the business you get into more
than others?

LJ: Coordinating the art, overseeing the production, recording, mastering.
Making sure that the test pressings and CDR's sound great!

Cosmik: When you say "overseeing..." do you mean from an administrative
capacity, or do you ever sit down at the recording console and get into
all of the tweaking and fader riding and technical nuts and bolts of
the operation?

LJ: Somewhere in between the administrative, the aesthetic and the
technical!

Cosmik: How 'bout this...is there any necessary aspect that you really
hate?

LJ: Nothing except when there is miscommunication between...ourselves and
others. It doesn't happen very often but when it does...it sucks!

Cosmik: You mean like bands thinking they're being screwed or distributors
thinking you're not keeping your word? That seems to be unavoidable
in this business...

LJ: No, just little problems, I can't even think of an example to give you
off the top of my head.

Cosmik: Who is out there now that you'd like to work with?

LJ: I'm working with them!

Cosmik: Why did you start Hell Yeah Records?

LJ: When the "garage" bands dried up and there was a lot of cool non-60s
music happening in the 80s, we released some records that...fans of
Dionysus didn't dig. At the same time, I'm sure that a lot of others
would have liked the records but..they couldn't get past the name
Dionysus cause they expected a 60s sound. Stuff like Kings Of Oblivion,
Trash Can School, Dana Lynn, Lance Kaufman, Axel Grinders, later Yard
Trauma... So, we decided to get a new identity for the release of these
kinds of records.

Cosmik: Hot Damn is an unusual band, to say the least... Is it a challenge
to promote a band that plays, I don't know, porn-punk?

LJ: Aime has no real problems promoting the group. To say the least, they
rock like crazy! They get either great or totally shitty reviews. The
people who pan 'em just don't get it...The band LOVES the bad reviews
though!

Cosmik: Do you have any other bands that play similar stuff?

LJ: Before they went off to a major label, Butt Trumpet. Fearless Leader
were pretty nasty. We did singles with Woodpussy and Honk If Yer Horny.
Hell Yeah has it's porn-punk moments!

Cosmik: Any upcoming projects you can talk about yet?

LJ: Thorazine from Philly, the reissue of "Voodoo," a brilliant "exotica"
album from '59, second albums from The Bomboras, Hot Damn, The Boss
Martians. A compilation of East LA stuff from the 60s, real early
(1975) Dead Boys tracks.....

Cosmik: With all the great stuff you've put out over the years, your
vaults must be stuffed. Any chance we might see a Dionysus anthology
CD or maybe even box set soon?

LJ: We are seriously thinking about putting together a comp of our fave
tracks from the last couple of years, more as a promotional tool than
an anthology! I'm not interested in digging into my own archives as we
are thinking ahead at this point in time!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

UP FROM THE UNDERGROUND
the Velvet Underground - "Peel Slowly and See"
Reviewed by David Fenigsohn

For most, the Velvet Underground remain a mystery. In five years in
the late sixties a band cut four records, which hardly anyone heard at the
time and few have heard since. Concerts were erratic and poorly attended.
Musicianship was often spotty, harmonies were off key, rhythms erratic,
and lyrics nonsensical. And somehow this band is widely credited with
changing the face of rock and roll forever.
"Peel Slowly and See", a comprehensive five disc box set of the Velvet
Underground's complete studio work, as well as dozens of live and previously
unreleased tracks, does little to clear up the mystery of VU's significance
or appeal.
What it does do is provide fans and the uninitiated alike an exhaustive
amount of fascinating material, a glimpse of their creative process, and
a history and context for their groundbreaking work. Through an eighty five
page book, a wealth of old and new material, and beautiful packaging, "Peel
Slowly and See" is a definitive history of a seminal band whose influences
still are felt in nearly every aspect of today's "alternative rock."
The Velvet Underground, named after a long forgotten sado-masochism
book, formed in 1965. Lou Reed, then just out of college and working in a
song factory cranking out disposable doo-wop singles, met John Cale. Cale,
already deeply entrenched in experimental music, was a in the process of
revolutionizing a decidedly un-rock and roll instrument-- the viola. Reed
exposed Cale to his other writing, including soon to be Velvet classics
such as "Heroin", and the two decided to form a band. A friend of Reed's,
guitarist Sterling Morrison, was invited to join as well, and the Velvets
were born.
The box set picks up not long after that. The first disc is previously
unavailable demos of the three collaborating in Cale's apartment. The sound
quality is poor, and the tapes very repetitive, but the songs already
display Reed's dark genius. "Venus in Furs," a ode to the dark side of
sexuality, is an embryo--a gentle folk-song basis of what would a short
time later be reworked as one of the Velvet's most powerful works. The box
set provides several versions of these songs with only slight differences
in tempo. While three or four consecutive versions of the same song is
clearly overkill for all but the most devoted fan, it is hard to fault the
box set for it's thoroughness. The fist disc also provides similar treatment
for VU staples "Waiting For My Man" and "All Tomorrow's Parties", multiple
versions simultaneously serving as overkill and a fascinating look at the
evolution of classic tracks. "Heroin" is already complete, and short of the
poor sound quality, could be substituted for the album version. The real
gem here is "Prominent Man", a snarling Dylan rip-off that somehow got
dropped from the band's catalog never to re-emerge.
In 1965, prior to recording their first album, the VU parted ways with
original drummer Angus MacLise (who joins Pete Best in the category of poor
career moves) and invited a friend of Morrison's, Maureen Tucker, to serve
as drummer. Tucker provided a ground for the band's already electric but
meandering sounds of discord. Now able to play live, the band took up
residency at the appropriately named Caf E9 Bizarre. Soon after they were
fired for playing songs such as "Black Angels' Death Song", but not before
they impressed pop artist Andy Warhol. Warhol, already on the way to
becoming a legend himself, would be a key figure in the Velvet's future.
Warhol invited the Velvets to be the house band at his traveling freak
show titled "Exploding Plastic Inevitable" where they met the weirdest New
York in the late sixties had to offer, and blended in seamlessly. Warhol
introduced the Velvets to a beautiful Hungarian actress/singer named Nico,
whose angelic voice provided a startling contrast to Cale's violent viola
bursts and Reed's lyrics of perversion and drug abuse. Though at first the
band resisted the idea, Warhol managed to combine his favorite talent and
installed Nico as a lead singer, if not full band member. Warhol designed
a peelable banana for an album cover, and soon after he took the helm as
producer of the Velvet's now historical debut, The Velvet Underground and
Nico.
Disc two opens with their first official release, the single "All
Tomorrow's Parties", which finds Nico at her cold but seductive best.
The disc also includes their entire debut album. Nearly thirty years later,
"The Velvet Underground And Nico" remains a powerful reworking of sound
which challenged the norms of conventional rock music. The album's best
songs-- "I'll Be Your Mirror" and "Femme Fatale" revel in the contrasts
between beauty and horror, tearing apart gentle melodies with bursts of
tuneless discord. Reed's static vocals stand in sharp contrast to Nico's
smooth delivery, but both singers are perfectly suited for the haunting
material. While countless bands claim the Velvets as influences, none have
captured the mystery and contrast of this debut. The booklet reveals part
of the sound is due to bizarre tunings the band was experimenting with, as
the Velvets were abandoning the traditional limitations of their respective
instruments.
The second disc continues with a live version of the unreleased "Melody
Laughter" in which the band experiment with improv for unique if not
successful results. The final track "Chelsea Girls" is from Nico's solo
work and, though penned by Reed, provides a view of Nico's more traditional
sensibilities outside of the VU.
Verve Records, who had signed the VU primarily due to their connections
with Warhol, was unsure what to do with the volatile, inaccessible final
product. They sat on the record for nearly a year before finally releasing
it in 1967 with little-to-no support. It promptly disappeared, to the
surprise of no one.
By this time the VU were at work on their follow-up "White Light/White
Heat", which makes up the body of the third disc of the set. Warhol's circus
like atmosphere came to a close, as did his association with the band. At
the same time, the departure of Nico liberated the band from any commercial
possibilities they might have had.
The disc opens with a five song demo recorded in between the band's two
albums, and clearly finds them at a transitional point. Only one of the
songs from the demos, "Here She Comes Now," would later make it on to the
follow-up album, and then only after a dramatic reworking. Three of the
songs, "There Is No Reason," "It's All Right" and "I'm Not Sorry" are
surprisingly folky in nature, without the tearing chords of the work that
was to follow immediately after. Two live tracks, "Guess I'm Falling In
Love" and "Brooker T," previously available on bootlegs, prove the VU could
impersonate a normal band if they wanted to.
While acts such as Sonic Youth have adjusted the nineties ear to
jarring, clashing sounds of experimental music, the VU defined the genre
with "White Light/White Heat". If "The Velvet Underground and Nico" confused
listeners, "White Light/White Heat" sounds as if it was designed to agitate
and disturb the audience. The essence of the album is "Sister Ray", a
feedback laden distorted sonic assault via guitar from Reed, and rhythmless
sneak attacks on "I Heard Her Call My Name". The lyrics match the tone of
the album, with vague descriptions of taboo surgical procedures and tragic
but farcical love songs.
Verve released the record in good faith to typically abysmal sales.
While the album was a perfect summation of its era, it was certainly not a
message people were willing to hear until much, much later.
The second studio album represents a close to one half of the Velvets'
history. Their future work would have a much different tone--though not
nearly as ground breaking as the first segment of their career, it is
infinitely more listenable, and demonstrates a dramatic leap in songwriting.
Their previous work had defied the rules of songwriting, while future work
would aim not to destroy but to subvert and expand upon rock music.
It is unclear whether the departure of John Cale in 1968 caused or was
a result of this shift in VU's music. Cale was Reed's creative equal, and
his voice may have an even greater influence on what the Velvets were for
the first few years. The two leaders' strong personalities and
eccentricities gave birth to dramatic ground breaking material, but their
partnership was unable to sustain the frustrations of the band's obscurity
and the power of each other's musical visions.
The third disc shifts after "White Light/White Heat". The disc's final
three songs, with Cale, are experiments as the band searches for a sound,
playing around with Motown on "Temptation Inside Your Heart," and trying a
lonesome ballad, "Stephanie Says", both of which would later show up on a
1985 collection of outtakes titled "VU."
Following Cale's departure, the Velvets were joined by Doug Yule on
bass, a competent musician but one who would not challenge Reed's now
dominant role. They entered the studio in 1968, having incorporated Yule
into the mix and, amazingly enough, developed a tiny but devoted following
through the occasional tour and the openness of FM radio at the time. The
resulting album, their self titled third release, is the exact opposite of
"White Light/White Heat", as the band revels in gentle acoustic guitars
and intimate, subtle arrangements.
The forth disc sets the tone with a live version of "What Goes On",
which would change only slightly from it's studio version. "The Velvet
Underground" begins with "Candy Says". Reed's lyrics about a despondent
transvestite echo a familiar theme for the band, but the arrangement, with
Yule's undistinguished lead vocals and Morrison's remarkably restrained
guitar work, show the change in their approach. "The Velvet Underground"
also marked the vocal debut of Tucker, who competently works her way
through "After Hours."
But the album clearly belongs to Reed--his beautiful ballad "Pale Blue
Eye" shows a depth and maturity never before seen in the band's work, and
the song is still an emotional powder keg. "Beginning to See the Light" has
an optimism that would have been unthinkable in the band's work just a year
earlier. And the whole album emphasizes lyrics and song structure with
strumming 12-string guitars highlighting Reed's new found pride in the
craft of songwriting. Not that the band had given up experimenting-- the
album ends with a dreadful, nine minute spoken work track, "Murder Mystery".
The track consists of two opposing, unintelligible poems, and is one of the
band's few complete musical failures.
Disc four continues with five more tracks recorded from the various
quick trips to the studio following the completion of "The Velvet
Underground", all of which surfaced on "VU". Consistent with the band's
between-album material, they experiment with various sounds--they try a
country feel to "One of these Days" and straight ahead rock and roll on
"Foggy Notion." These tracks lack the focus that Reed would bring to what
would turn out to be their swan song, "Loaded.". Two never before available
tracks, "It's Just Too Much" and "Countless From Hong Kong," complete the
disc.
Ironically, The Velvet Underground's most successful and arguably best
album came as they were falling apart. Disc five begins with "Loaded", the
Velvet's most complicated album. "Loaded" gave the world the two tracks for
which The Velvet Underground are primarily remembered-- "Sweet Jane" and
"Rock and Roll". Drummer Tucker left due to a pregnancy and was replaced
by the rather generic Billy Yule, brother of Doug. The Velvet's pioneering
was a thing of the past, but Reed's songwriting had never been better. Track
after track are dramatic musical progressions from the tension of "New Age"
to the excitement of "Head Held High". And after all those years, Reed
finally wrote some singles. "Rock and Roll" is an infectious, hummable
single that was ready for radio. After years of singing about the dark
underbelly of the urban nightmare, Reeds' strongest vocals are on a simple
song about the redemptive powers of good old rock and roll music. It's as
if when the rest of the world left behind the positive feelings of the late
sixties, Reed discovered them and incorporated them into his music.
Disc five concludes "Peel Slowly and See" with a slew of late studio
outtakes, most notably "Satellite of Love", long known as one of Reed's
finest solo works but never before heard as a Velvet Underground song.
Other standouts include "Ride Into the Sun", also a solo Reed favorite,
along with "Ocean" (featuring the brief return of Cale) and "I Love You".
All of these tracks continue in Reed's new vein of mature, more familiar
song writing that is inconsistent with the spirit of the Velvet Underground.
Given the sound of these outtakes, it is not surprising the band dissolved,
as Reed was no longer of the spirit he once was. While his solo work is no
less respectable or impressive, it is of a different nature and a different
time than what he created with the Velvet Underground.
The Velvet Underground will never sell as many records as the Beatles
or the Stones, Led Zepplin, or the Who. They are destined to remain a cult
favorite, the passion of a select few. Part of this was by design--it was
never their intent to reach the mainstream, rather to expand the border
of the fringe. Over time, their influence has filtered down, often through
others who were enchanted with what they heard and went on to form band's
that received much wider audiences, such as REM and Nirvana.
"Peel Slowly and See" will not serve to expand the band's legacy. While
the outtakes and unreleased material are riveting, they confirm rather
than establish the band's genius. Instead, this box set does a masterful
job of encapsulating and explaining the band, providing a context for their
work. Sales of the set are reported to be better than expected--whether
from die hard fans or a new generation of followers remains to be seen. The
Velvet Underground are far too significant a band to fade away. "Peel Slowly
and See" ensures their legacy will be available and presented in it's best
form, which is a noble achievement in and of itself.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The OH DEAR GOD, PLEASE DON'T LET IT BE SO!!! Dept. Reluctantly Presents...
SCARY BOB'S BIG DAY! The Inaugural Address we pray need never be given.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

President Robert Dole, Inaugural Address, January 20, 1997

We observe today not a celebration of freedom but a victory of party--
symbolizing an end as well as a means--signifying an historic realignment
as well as the Democratic Party's worst nightmare. For I have sworn before
you and Almighty God the same Contract On America that Newt prescribed
nearly two years and three quarters ago.

The world is very different now. For the freshmen congressman holds in
his mortal hands the power to abolish all remnants of the New Deal, New
Frontier and Great Society and all forms of corporate taxation. And yet,
the same reactionary beliefs for which the 104th Congress fought are still
held up in conference committees today--the belief that the entitlements
of the needy come not from the generosity of the state but from the hand
of your local church, synagogue or civic association.

We dare not forget today that we are the heirs of that first revolution.
Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike,
that the torch has been passed back to the old generation of Americans--born
near the turn of the century, tempered by FDR, disciplined by a hard and
bitter half-century of Democrat hegemony, proud of our ancient
inheritances--and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those
capital gains to which this party has always been committed, and to which
we are committed today at home and around the world.

Let every pointy-headed pundit know, whether he wishes us well or ill,
that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any lobbyist, support
any well-known Australian media mogul, oppose any ill-conceived ethics
rules, to counter the survival and the success of liberalism.

This much we pledge--and more.

To those old Democratic boll weevils in the South whose cultural and
spiritual origins we lately share, we pledge the loyalty of friends of
convenience. United, there is little we cannot do to end affirmative
action as we know it. Divided, there is little we can do--for we dare not
meet a powerful constituency at odds and split asunder.

To those new states whom we welcome to the ranks of the GOP, we
pledge our word that one form of party machinery shall not have passed
away merely to be replaced by a far more iron tyranny. We shall not
always expect to find them supporting our view. But we shall always
hope to find them strongly supporting their own freedom--and to
remember that in the past, those who foolishly sought power by riding
the coattails of Democrats ended up being grilled by Alphonse D'Amato.

To those peoples in the huts and villages of half the globe struggling
to break the bonds of mass misery, we pledge our best efforts to help
their leaders arm themselves, for whatever period is required, as long
as it is for a time certain with a clear exit strategy--not because we
will get the business, not because we seek votes, but because it is the
right thing to do. If a free society cannot exploit the many who are poor,
it cannot support the few who are rich.

All this will not be finished in the first one hundred days. Nor will it
be finished in the first one thousand days, nor in the life of this
administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But remember
the miracle of compound interest and let us begin.

In your hands, my fellow citizens, more than mine, will rest the final
success or failure of our course. Since this country was founded, each
generation of Americans has been summoned to protect the interests of
multi-national corporations. The graves of young Americans who answered the
call to service surround the globe. But it's best not to dwell on the
negative.

Now the trumpet summons us again--not as a call to bear arms, though arms
we have--not as a call to battle, though embattled we are--but as a call
to bear the burden of a long twilight struggle, year in year out, "rejoicing
in hope, patient in tribulation"--a struggle against the common enemies of
man: welfare, income taxes, Democrats, and liberalism itself.

Can we forge against these enemies a grand and global alliance,
North and South, East and West, that can assure a more fruitful life for
all investors? Will you join in that historic effort?

And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for
you--try to squeeze it out of your state, county or local municipality.

My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you,
but what America might do to you.

Finally, whether you are citizens of the several and miscellaneous states
of America or citizens of the world, ask of us here the same high standards
of strength and sacrifice which we ask of you. With a good conscience our
only sure deficit, with the nightly sound bite the final judge of our deeds,
let us go forth to exploit the land we love, asking His blessing and His
help, but knowing that here on earth God's work must truly be handled by
the free market, if at all.

(applause)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

BOOK REVIEW: "STELLAS AND STRATOCASTERS"
By Willie G. Moseley
From Vintage Guitar Books
Review by DJ Johnson

Willie G. Moseley is a writer for Vintage Guitar Magazine, and over the
years he has done some outstanding columns, interviews and articles.
"Stellas and Stratocasters" gathers many of the best into one great book.
Like the other Vintage Guitar book I recently reviewed (Guitar Stories),
it is very hard for a real guitar freak to put this down. Moseley writes
about guitar from a number of angles. In one column he chronicles the
detective work he did after finding a Harmony Stratotone in a pawn shop.
The guitar had a lot of what seemed to be stock equipment that shouldn't
have been on that model. In another article, Moseley lists the guitars
and basses that the various bands were using at Woodstock. He doesn't
buy into all the hype about Woodstock being the most important event of
that generation, and he tells you so. In fact, he isn't shy about saying
how he feels on any subject. My personal favorite remark is when he
mentions "Joan 'Pinko' Baez." Other topics in this first section of the
book include the maddening Hollywood practice of using non-musicians to
portray musicians in film and the even more maddening practice of using
1978 guitars in scenes depicting concerts in 1955. That pisses me off,
too. I keep waiting for the day some hairbrained director puts a Strat
with Van Halen pin-stripes in the hands of someone playing Eddie Cochrane.
Like me (and probably you), Moseley shakes his head at these dorks. There
are also several articles about various guitar factories and custom shops,
including Gibson, Fender and Rickenbacker's. When he takes you into the
Rickenbacker Museum, it's drool-cup time. My only complaint here is that
the photographs are black and white. I wish they had splurged just a bit.
I suspect these photos are from the original columns, though, and I suppose
you have to cut corners somewhere in a month to month situation. Still,
I would love to see what that 1928 Frying Pan model looks like in full
color.

The second section contains 41 interviews with great players that also
happen to collect guitars (or at least have a few choice vintage ones).
Among the interviewees are Dick Dale, Rick Nielson, Tim Bogart, Scotty
Anderson, Teisco Del Rey, Eric Johnson, Noel Redding and Randy Bachman.
There are a lot of photographs in each section, but I think my favorites
are the ones of peoples private collections. We impoverished guitarists
always love to dream, and this is certainly the stuff dreams are made of.
Show of hands, please...how many of you real players wouldn't kill for Rick
Nielson's guitar collection? Oooone...two...okay, two. And two of those
are liars. One of the revelations of the Nielson interview is the fact
that he doesn't really have a guitar tech on the road with him who is
paid to go looking for collectible guitars. So much for another of my
long-held beliefs.

The next section of "Stellas And Stratocasters" deals with the guitar
business through columns about guitar shows and how to behave at them.
Moseley believes in a certain code of conduct, and he doesn't mind telling
you how to follow it. The final section is filled with miscellaneous
columns that didn't fit elsewhere in the book, including two farewells:
one to Semie Moseley (no relation), who died shortly after the author
interviewed him, and one to Toy Caldwell of The Marshall Tucker Band.

"Stellas And Stratocasters" is the ultimate bathroom book for the serious
guitar nut. Oh, sorry...taboo subject, right? Well get over it. There
is such thing as a great bathroom book, and this is one. Short articles
filled with vast amounts of information. You might not agree with
Moseley's opinions, and boy, he does spread 'em around. And you might not
be impressed with everyone he chose to interview. (Some people might think
Gary Richrath of REO Speedwagon was a bit of a stretch). But it's hard
to put it down, and that's the real measure.

==========================================================================

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==========================================================================

Another big ol' helping of music reviews from Steve Marshall,
David Fenigsohn, Platterpuss and DJ Johnson.

* * * * * * * *


BIG ASS TRUCK - self titled (Upstart)

Are you one of those lucky people who love all kinds of music? This might
just be your next big thing. Big Ass Truck is an astonishing band from
Memphis that can NOT be tied down to a particular style. While some bands
seem to be desperately searching for a genre, Big Ass Truck is having a
blast paying short and enlightening visits to several of them. There's
really only one other band that I know of who might be comparable, and
that's Brazil 2001, a band you probably haven't heard yet (But you will.
Write it down.)

The band is made up of two guitars, bass, drums and keyboards, PLUS a DJ
who throws record-scratches into genres where you don't normally hear them.
On a few tracks, they do some great hip-hop, too. Not many bands can be
equally convincing at blues, funk, hip-hop, fusion and hard rock. Because
they can pull this off, the album is a total mind trip. After a whirlwind
tour through all of those styles, you're sitting back saying "Whoa!" but
it's not over yet. Not by a long shot.

Do not turn off the CD player after the 11th track. Yeah, the "mystery
track" has become a cliche, but Big Ass Truck takes it deep into the left
field seats by making a 5+ minute track 12 that is totally silent, followed
by 3 very psychedelic tunes totalling nearly 20 minutes! The first of these
tracks may be the only song ever to feature a lead chicken. These songs
are apparently not available on the vinyl version. Too bad, really. This
is some very cool mind-trip music. Not to say that it's particularly
challenging, from a performance standpoint. It's just stream-of-conciousness
musical sound, but it sure puts you into a decent trance. These bonus
tracks are nothing at all like the rest of the CD, but then no two of the
first 11 songs are very much alike, either.

This was Big Ass Truck's self-produced and released 1994 debut album. It
was picked up and re-released by Upstart a few months ago. Now that they
have a strong label behind them, it'll be interesting to see where they
go next. Where ever that is, I hope they don't bed down with one style.
Monogamy wouldn't suit them. - (DJ Johnson)


TEISCO DEL REY - Music For Lovers (Upstart)

Guitarists will recognize Teisco Del Rey as "The Cheese Wizard Of The
Electric Guitar." Teisco wrote a great column for Guitar Player Magazine
called "Off The Wall," in which he featured a different pawn shop mutant
axe each month. I enjoyed reading his columns for years before I ever
heard him play a note. His writing style is, like the title says, off
the wall. His personality is...well, the man is so deep in left field
that he's in the cheap seats! He's my new hero.

So I wasn't surprised at all to find that his music matched his wit. Not
an easy task when you play instrumental music! But he does it. I know
it's only February, but "Music For Lovers" might just be the instro album
of 1996. Working with a gang of incredible musicians (including members
of Upstart label-mates Laika & The Cosmonauts), and utilizing several of
his cheesy guitars, Teisco has presented an album for the ages. I can
say with absolute confidence that I will still listen to this on a regular
basis twenty years from now. It has so many sounds and styles to offer.

The album begins with "Seville," a surfy track which starts with cascading
guitar notes before the band kicks in. Leave it to Teisco to fall into
the opening track like that. Track two is "El Sleazo Chorizo," a perfect
marriage of reggae bass and surf guitar, and a song with a groove that's
nearly impossible to forget.

The gears are shifted without warning into a cover of "Madison Time"
complete with a smooth talking dance instructor who goes his own way at
the end, most likely causing the dancers to trip, go into vapor lock or
implode. Teisco dedicates the song to Tracy Turnblad, the character Rikki
Lake played in the classic film "Hairspray." See, I just knew Teisco would
have liked that flick!

There go the gears again! Who would have thought to cover a trad wedding
song from Carelia? "Kyla Vuotti Uuta Kuuta" is one of the most beautiful
songs you'll ever hear, and you'll be picking out all the instruments in
the orchestra to impress your friends, and you'll be sooooo wrong. That's
mostly Teisco playing a variety of unusual axes, including his famous
Guitorgan and a Mando-Guitar. The only reason I am not telling you all
about the mandolins and lutes and triangles is because I have liner notes!
This is one of the few tracks with any serious overdubbing going on, but as
Teisco says in his notes, he doesn't figure too many people will scream out
"Play Kyla Vuotti Uuta Kuuta!!" at his shows.

Track six is "Second Line Limbo," and this is where the guest musicians
start to make their marks. Sonny Landreth's slide guitar solo could
melt glaciers. The song is a loose psychedelic jam on a Bo Diddly beat
that blends into something smoother than glass, especially when Landreth
kicks in with that slide solo. David Lindley would buy this record for
that solo alone! The best way to describe his tone is to say...think of
Santo & Johnny's 50s classic "Sleepwalk."

Track seven (Oh my God, I'm doing a track by track! Do you get the
impression I like this one more than the average album??) is a calypso!
"Hermanos Alou" is named after Matty, Jesus and Felipe Alou, three brothers
who played baseball in the 50s through the 70s. Again, Teisco lets a
guest musician take the spotlight. Mitch Watkins' acoustic guitar solo is
magnifique! As Teisco says in the liner notes, "I don't know how Mitch
played that guitar solo, because those notes aren't on ANY of my guitars!"

Track eight, "Twango," is an original surf tune that should be an instant
classic, with great reverb on Teisco's Fender Jazzmaster and a sax solo
deluxe by John Mills. I'll speed this thing up now, because I know you've
got to get to a record store before they close. "Steel Trap" is a Link
Wray tune that is rarely covered, and after you hear this you'll be
wondering why more bands haven't done it. "Casbah" is one of the most
interesting tracks because there are three...count 'em...three drummers
going ballistic and taking turns soloing. Whoa! The drums are the focus,
so much so that you might miss the fact that there's an incredible surf
tune happening in there somewhere at the same time. "Werewolf" is a cover
of an old Frantics tune, and it's introduced by fellow Texan Herman The
German. (The screaming woman in this song should have been credited!)
"Lawrence Of Arabia" converts that film's theme song into great surf track.
The final track is "Sealed With A Kiss," which is done fairly traditionally,
with just a hint of cheese.

Teisco is a character, and it comes through on almost all of these songs.
He also has a knack for choosing his cronies, and that's one of the key
elements of "Music For Lovers." Great performances from guests keep it
from getting the slightest bit stale. One of the ingredients I haven't
mentioned yet is the secondary percussion. Lisa Pankratz, Mike Buck,
Janne Haavisto and Doyle Bramhall play drums at various times, but when
they're not, they're doing some wonderful work with wood blocks, shakers,
congas and whatever else they can find, and it makes a huge difference.
(Listen, in particular, to the background percussion during the drum solos
in "Casbah.")

This is a rather long review simply because I can't shut up about this
record! Maybe if I just stop typing... - (DJ Johnson)



THE FALLOUTS - S/T (Super Electro)

This is actually a CD reissue of The Fallouts' 1992 album which many
consider to be their best ever and while I certainly love their singles
and outtakes compilation on Estrus, I'm rather inclined to agree. For
those of you who've never heard them before, think of the early-mid 60s
R&B sounds of bands like The Stones or Pretty Things combined with the
all-out aggression of late 70s punk bands like The Sex Pistols or early
Clash. The combination worls beautifully and songs like "Never Be The
Same", "What'd I Do Wrong", "Where Did You Go" and "One More Time"
oughtta appeal to hard-core garage fanatics as well as punks.
(PO Box 20401, Seattle WA 98102) - (The Platterpuss)


THE FLAMIN' GROOVIES - California Born And Bred (Norton)

The back cover promises "23 revved up teenage blasts from the vaults"
and I'd be hard pressed to come up with a more apt description of the
goings-ons contained on this shiny little biscuit. Basically, whatcha got
here are outtakes from the "Teenage Head" sessions, a few accoustic demos
for the "Flamingo" album, some rehearsal tapes and a handful of live
tracks, all featuring the original Loney/Jordan lineup. At the time they
were recorded, none of these tracks were intended for release and, while
longtime Groovie fans will be very familiar with the original, more
polished versions of classics like "Evil Hearted Ada", "Rockin Pneumonia
And The Boogie Woogie Flu', "Comin' After Me", "Sweet Roll Me On Down"
and "Headin' For The Texas Border", these rougher renditions provide a
fascinating insight into one of the best Rock & Roll bands of all time.
(Box 646, Cooper Station, NYC NY 10003) - (The Platterpuss)


GOLDEN SMOG - down by the old mainstream (Rykodisc)

Golden Smog would have a lot going for them even without a great album.
All too many "Supergroups" are marketing ploys, record company creations
that rack up huge sales of inferior work based on the past work of various
band members. Golden Smog are the opposite--a group of friends cranking
out cover songs in Minneapolis bars. And oh yeah, the friends have day
jobs as band members of such acts as Soul Asylum, the Jayhawks and Wilco.
When they finally got around to releasing an album of original material,
they chose an indie label none of the band members are affiliated with.
And finally, to ensure as low a profile as possible, their real names
don't appear anywhere on the album. For the record Golden Smog are Gary
Louris and Marc Perlman (The Jayhawks), Dan Murphy (Soul Asylum), Jeff
Tweedy (Wilco), Kraig Johnson (Run Westy Run), and drummer Noah Levy.
And their album "down by the old mainstream" is a loose, rollicking
collection of country-rock gems.

The skilled musicianship--well-timed Hammond organ fills, and a perfect
blending of acoustic and electric guitars--comes as no surprise. The
vocals are also familiar to fans, and evenly divided between members,
each who brings a unique and expressive voice to the material. The
pleasant surprise is in the well-crafted songwriting. This is not an
album of B-side rejects from other bands, nor toss-offs written on the
way to the studio. Each number is a melodic tune, full of catchy
choruses, seamless bridges and poetic lyrics. Particularly impressive
as a songwriter is Dan Murphy--in Soul Asylum he plays second fiddle,
while in Golden Smog he displays a knack for memorable riffs. His
melancholy "Ill Fated" is the album's strongest track, a textbook
combination of the best elements of country and rock in one three
minute jam session.

Other strong contributions come from Tweedy, formerly of Uncle Tupelo,
who has been a key part of great material from three different acts.
His "Pecan Pie" is a clever and lighthearted ode to love and food,
while he shows an equally effective but more serious side on "Walk
Where He Walked."

Golden Smog's sound, reminiscent of The Flying Burrito Brothers or the
Byrds' best work, is very much in the roots rocks tradition, and they
pay homage to their predecessors with a lively cover of the Faces'
"Glad & Sorry."

"down by the mainstream" is dedicated to the Highwaymen, an
underappreciated collaboration between the godfathers of country,
Waylon Jennings, Kris Kristofferson, Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash.
With this album, Golden Smog have joined their ranks as one of the
few all-star side projects whose album matches the work for which
the band members are best known. - (David Fenigsohn)


GREENHOUSE AC - Sweet Love Happy Life (Stupido Twins)

Unlike a lot of my favorite bands on the Finnish music scene who draw
their main inspiration from The Ramones and don't really take it all
that much further, these guys have more of a metal influence while still
maintaining enough of a melodic punk sound to keep me happy. They kinda
remind me of a less Iggy-fied Jeff Dahl. Their latest 6-song CD EP might
actually be their best yet as songs like "Crash Course", "Fell In Love,
But", "Dagmar" and their cover of Eastern Dark's "Julie Is A Junkie"
are all catchy as hell yet contain enough reckless energy to more than
satisfy the headbanging set. (PO Box 301, 00121 Helsinki, FINLAND) -
(The Platterpuss)


HANNAH CRANNA - Better Lonely Days (Big Deal)

While this is not what usually gets my musical rocks off, I still
like listening to this collection of country-folk type pop that recalls
those stoned out days of years ago listening to Poco and The Eagles.
Most of the songs here have a pretty simple, easy-to-get-used-to melody,
kinda sad lyrics and plaintive vocals. To be perfectly honest this is the
kind of thing I listen to when I'm really depressed - usually over some
unrequited love interest and luckily for me, I don't get in those moods
often. They do get extra points for naming one of their more upbeat
(relatively speaking) songs "Paul McCartney and Wings" and again for
covering The Kinks' classic "Waterloo Sunset". You decide for yourself.
- (The Platterpuss)


HOT DAMN - in High Heels Slut (Hell Yeah!)

Despite the inclination of some folks to dismiss them and file them under
"things to be dealt with by congress," Hot Damn is a legit punk-n-roll
band with power to burn. Fronted by Zebra (formerly of The Cramps) on
vocals and bass and Kristina on rhythm guitar and fishnets, Hot Damn
can rock your world and help you through puberty in the course of the
same song. I suppose it's going to piss off the purists when I mention
this, but these are two of the hottest women in rock. The songs are not
coy little peek-a-boo sessions that hint at sex. They throb! "Gonna Whip
it Out," for instance, doesn't mince words...

"Yeah, I'm gonna suck you dry - I'm gonna tell you why - I'm gonna make
it so ya wanna die. Yeah, I'm gonna take you down - and move it all
around - I'm gonna do it to you on the ground. Yeah, I'm gonna piss you
off and make you blow your top. I'm gonna make it so you wanna jack off."

No lyric sheet was provided, so I was left to figure 'em out for myself.
If these are NOT the lyrics, please don't spoil it for me, thank you.
Other highlights include "Bitch With An Attitude," "My Panties Are Too
Tight" and "Sex House." As you can see, they don't do flowery shit!
Powerporn might just be the next big thing. And powerful it is! Kristina's
guitar kicks out concrete fuzz while Allen Clark (lead guitar, formerly of
Lazy Cowgirls) and Bob Lee (who still drums for Clawhammer) channel what
must be the worst cases of blue balls on record into one of the most
powerful sounds in punk. Zebra's voice can make you hyperventilate even
if you don't look at the cover and see what she looks like. If you do
decide to look at the cover, be prepared to towel off. Especially the
back cover, which is a photo of what my overactive imagination would like
to assume is a post-concert party between the band members. Or a table
dance without a table. I don't know how many more Hot Damn albums I can
take. Between this cover and the one on the new Trashwomen CD, I'm gonna
need glasses soon. - (DJ Johnson)


JON COUGAR CONCENTRATION CAMP - Self Titled (Second Guess Records)

The CD debut of Jon Cougar Concentration Camp is pretty much what you
would expect after hearing the single they put out earlier in the year--
fast and powerful with traces of snotty humor. The disc opens with a
smoker called "No Way To Live," and I sure wish I could hear what he's
singing. The lyrics aren't provided, and since I'm a lyric freak, I
feel kind of rooked when I can't hear OR read them. I DID catch the
part in "Half Assed Jedi" where he says that Luke Skywalker found out
the princess was his sister and "lost a potential fuck." No BS with
these guys. They cut right to the real meat of every issue, as you
can see. C'mon, that's what you were thinking during "Return of The
Jedi," too. In my opinion, the prime moment is their blistering cover
of one of their namesake's biggest hits. John Cougar's "Hurts So Good"
gets the black eye treatment in "Hertz...Sooo Good." Ain't it great
when a poppy tune with a great hook is de-schmaltzed by angry punks?
This is up there with Sea Monkey's "I Can See Clearly Now" for sheer
nerve. J.C.C.C. isn't the first band to offer music as amphetamine,
but they're certainly one of the most

  
promising of the new crop. - (DJ
Johnson)


THE MAKERS - Self Titled (Estrus Records)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Jeez! Did anyone get the license number of
that band? In just under half an hour they managed to upset my downstairs
neighbors, scare my dog and break my glasses. And all this was done from
inside the CD tray. This is pure electric current. No frills/deadly payload.

"Little Piece Of The Action" blasts the door down and "Kind That Kills"
strafes for survivors at the end. In between there are many moments of
garage greatness. My pick for hottest of the hot is "I'm Not A Social Kind
Of Guy," not because the riff is any better than the others, but because
of that incredible stun-gun fuzz tone on the guitar! It's the perfect
tone for a band with an attitude problem. (Check out the cover! For those
of you reading the text version, let me explain that the cover is a very
simple image...a Xerox of a hand with middle finger extended).

An important thing to know about this album is that Tim Kerr (Lord High
Fixers) produced. Production this sparse is an art, and Kerr's got the
touch. Sparse...That's understating things a bit. It sounds like it was
produced using only primitive stone tools and duct tape. Any other
production technique would have squished the power out of it. As it is,
this album is perfect in its imperfection. - (DJ Johnson)


THE McCRACKENS - Life, Hey Mikey EP (Shredder)

It seems like these guys release something new every time I turn around
but if you're lookin' for some infectious punk rock with a sense of humor
ala The Queers or Mr. T Exp, you'll wanna grab anything and everything
you can by this fine Canadian combo. The title track is an ode to that
kid in the commercial and it's the kind of record that you'll find yourself
spinning over and over, it's that catchy. The 2 songs on the flip, which
includes a remake of Cheap Trick's "Surrender" are also way cool making
this a more than worthwhile purchase.
(75 Plum Tree Lane #3, San Rafael CA 94901) - (The Platterpuss)


THE MERMEN: A Glorious Lethal Euphoria (Toadophile)

Jim Thomas has emerged as one of the most important guitarists of the era,
and if you need proof just buy this disc. Taking surf to extremes, Thomas
creates some of the most mesmerizing instro music imaginable. Bassist
Allen Whitman and drummer Martyn Jones seem to have reached the perfect
conclusions about what Thomas is trying to do, and they provide a powerful
foundation for his turbulent soundscapes. Their skills are a perfect fit.

Their previous studio release, "Food For Other Fish," was quite a bit more
delicate than this one. Thomas uses feedback to tear at the heart of even
the slower melodic tunes on "Euphoria," and the effect is unnerving and
soothing at the same time. Through the entire album, from fast and violent
to slow and dreamlike, one element remains constant; the sound of the sea.
It comes from the feedback as much as the reverb -- a white noise that
conjures images of violent waves smashing into rugged cliffs. From the
opening distorted cries of "A Drowning Man Knows His God" to the climax
of "And The Flowers They'll Bloom" an hour and 10 minutes later, "Euphoria"
is a tour de force that leaves you wrung out and satisfied. That's the
end of the storm, but not the end of the album.

The final track is the beautiful "Brahms 3rd Movement 3rd Symphony," in
which Thomas cements his claim to the throne. Beautiful and dreamlike,
it is the perfect finale for "A Glorious Lethal Euphoria." This is a
cohesive work of art by three outstanding musicians. - (DJ Johnson)


BOBBY PARKER -- Shine Me Up (Black Top)

Guitarist Bobby Parker recently released a new album for Black Top Records
entitled "Shine Me Up". For those of you who may not recognize Parker's
name, Bobby Parker has been known for his guitar playing for years. He's
performed with Bo Diddley, and was part of the legendary Apollo Theater's
house band during the 1950's. Led Zeppelin introduced him to European
audiences in the 1960's. John Lennon credited Parker with providing the
basic riff for Day Tripper.

"Shine Me Up" is a collection of guitar-based blues tracks. The only thing
keeping this CD from greatness is the horn section. It's not very well
recorded, and tends to distract from the music a bit. With a stripped down,
more sparse sound, this could be a great CD. The songs have a good foundation. One of the better ones, "Somebody's Comin' in My
Back Door" features some especially tasty guitar work. "Splib's Groove" is
another standout cut.

If you like horns with your blues, definitely check out "Shine Me Up". If
not, it's still a good CD that deserves a listen. - (Steve Marshall)


TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS -- Playback 1973-1993 (MCA)

This past November, MCA released a new 6CD box set from Tom Petty and The
Heartbreakers entitled "Playback". A veritable gold mine for Petty fans,
"Playback" contains a whopping 92 tracks - 42 of them previously unreleased.
The individual CDs (each with their own title) are packaged to look like
mini-albums, complete with gatefold covers & protective inner sleeves. The
CDs themselves look like reel-to-reel tapes.

The first three CDs chronicle Petty's career from 1976 though 1993's
"Greatest Hits" album. Disc one, "The Big Jangle", features material from
the band's self-titled debut through 1981's "Hard Promises" album. With
such songs as "Breakdown", "Refugee", "Here Comes My Girl" and "A Woman
in Love", "The Big Jangle" contains just about every early Heartbreakers
tune ever played on the radio. You can really hear The Byrds' influence
in Petty's music on this CD.

Disc two, "Spoiled & Mistreated", covers the years 1982 through 1987. Songs
like "You Got Lucky" and "Don't Come Around Here No More" find the band
treading on more experimental ground. The disc also includes Petty's cover
of The Byrds' "So You Want to Be a Rock & Roll Star", and the poignant
38-second instrumental Mike Campbell tune, "Mike's Life/Mike's World".

The third disc, "Good Booty" finds the band in it's most successful period,
1989 through 1993. Even though The Heartbreakers don't all appear on the
tracks from Full Moon Fever (arguably his best album), the album is well
represented on the box's third CD. "Good Booty" also includes "Mary Jane's
Last Dance" and "Christmas All Over Again".

The last three CDs in "Playback" are the real gems here though. All of the
tracks on these discs are previously unreleased in the U.S. Disc four, "The
Other Sides", consists of fifteen B-sides, including several cover songs.
The live version of "Psychotic Reaction" features drummer Stan Lynch on
vocals. Other songs covered on "The Other Sides" include Nick Lowe's
"Crackin' Up", and a live version of the 1959 Eddie Cochran hit, "Somethin'
Else".

The box's last two discs, "Through the Cracks" and "Nobody's Children", are
made up of various early performances, demos, outtakes, & alternate versions.
One of the highlights on the fifth disc, "Through the Cracks" is the 1974
version of "Don't Do Me Like That" performed by Mudcrutch (Petty's
pre-Heartbreakers band). "Through the Cracks" also features a demo of "Stop
Draggin' My Heart Around" - without Stevie Nicks, and the box set's earliest
track, "On the Street" (recorded in 1973 in keyboardist Benmont Tench's
parents' living room).

From the 1973 Mudcrutch track, "Up in Mississippi Tonight", to the two
Elvis Presley covers (recorded during sessions for the 1993 "Greatest
Hits" album), the sixth disc contains a wealth of unreleased material.
Also included on this CD are Petty's original versions of "Got My Mind
Made Up" (later recorded by Bob Dylan) and "Ways to be Wicked" (later
recorded by Lone Justice).

The booklet included with the box is very informative, and chock full of
rare photos. The liner notes, written by Bill Flanagan, provide a
comprehensive look at the band's history. There are also extensive notes
taken from various interviews with the band for each track. "Playback" is
an excellent testimonial to one of America's finest bands, Tom Petty and
the Heartbreakers. - (Steve Marshall)


THE PRETENDERS -- The Isle of View (Warner/Reprise Video)

The Pretenders have decided to join the ranks of the "unplugged" group of
performers with their new release. While some artists (such as Aerosmith,
or Pearl Jam) take the acoustic format and turn it into something really
interesting, most just end up heading down "the middle of the road" (to
steal a phrase from a Pretenders tune). The latter is the case with "The
Isle of View".

For this tour, the band is backed up by The Duke Quartet on strings, and on
this performance, Damon Albarn (keyboardist for Blur) makes an appearance
as well. Some tracks, such as the beautiful "Hymn to Her", really benefit
from the new arrangements. Others are clearly not as good as the originals.
Tracks such as "Back on the Chain Gang", and especially "Kid", have been
reduced to sleep inducing moments of MOR.

While the laserdisc definitely has it's moments - such as the new versions
of "Private Life", and "I Hurt You" (with an excellent solo from guitarist
Adam Seymour), or the cover of Radiohead's "Creep" - most of the disc is
nothing more than good background music. Not that there's anything wrong
with that, but given the material the band has produced in the past, the
new disc is a bit disappointing. Only on the recent single, "Night in My
Veins" (one of the four bonus tracks available on the laserdisc), does the
band ever come close to rocking out.

Fans of adult contemporary radio will probably love this disc. However,
long time Pretenders fans may be disappointed. - (Steve Marshall)


LEE ROCKER & BIG BLUE - Atomic Boogie Hour (Black Top)

In 1992, L.A. guitarist Mike Eldred sent a demo tape to ex-Stray Cat
bassist, Lee Rocker. After hearing the tape, Rocker decided to do
something he'd always wanted to do - start a new blues trio. Since they
still needed a drummer, Eldred suggested another West Coast musician,
Henree DeBaun (a.k.a. Hank Deluxe) to round out the band. The new band,
Big Blue, made its debut on New Years Eve 1992. While on tour with Paul
Rodgers in 1993, the band signed a deal with Black Top Records. Their
first album, simply entitled Big Blue, was released shortly thereafter
to critical praise.

Two years later, Big Blue has released their second album, Atomic Boogie
Hour. Named after an early 1950's radio program, Atomic Boogie Hour
contains a mixture of blues-based tunes, along with a few rockabilly
songs thrown in for good measure. Standout tracks on the CD include "6th
Street Blues", "Can't Say No", "A Taste of You" and "When You're Not Here".
Atomic Boogie Hour is a fine sophomore effort from a hot band with the
playing ability to make things happen. This is a band to watch. - (Steve
Marshall)


SMUDGE - Hot Smoke And Sassafras (Shake)

This Aussie trio plays an interesting brand of pop music that's kinda
hard to describe except to say that the more I play this 8-song CD EP the
more I like it. While at first their songs are not all that immediately
catchy (with the possible excetion of the absolutely bubbly "It's Over")
these songs definitely start to grow on you before too long. Most of
them seem to be built around a 2 or 3 chord guitar riff that's played
repeatedly with just a bit of distortion. At times they remind me of
Madder Rose and at other times "Tim" era Replacements, especially in the
vocals If you're looking for something a little bit different but with
enough hooks to sink your teeth into, this is it.
(598 Victoria, C.P. 36587, St-Lambert Que. J4P-3S8, CANADA) - (The
Platterpuss)


THE TRASHWOMEN - Spend The Night With The Trashwomen (Estrus)

I guess I'm not giving away any secrets when I say that The Trashwomen
are the definition of "surf-punk." This is the proof. It's their 1993
debut album available on CD for the first time. Three women who, as the
liner notes tell us, grew up on the wrong side of the tracks and along
the way figured out how to make instros sound snotty! The blood curdling
screams in several of the tracks help get that across, like in "Daddy
Love." They also let the screams fly on their vocal cover of Peter Gunn,
which happens to be one of the best tracks. Elka Zolot plays some pretty
authentic trad-surf guitar but keeps it edgy so it can compete with her
even edgier vocal madness, and Tina "Boom Boom" Lucchesi (drums) and
Danielle Pimm (bass) have just the right primitive styles to keep it all
together. This is the second CD this month that has a cover picture that
can lead to hairy palms and premature blindness. (The first was Hot Damn).
The funny thing is that the notes on the back of the CD will make you
think blindness has already set in. It's a photocopy from the back of
the obviously much larger LP jacket, and the print is so small that
all I know for sure is that there are four paragraphs. It's just really
small print, that's all. Honest. I can see fine. - (DJ Johnson)


THE VACANT LOT - Shake Well (Shake)

This is the Lot's third album and fans of the super melodic sweet and
pungent poppy punk of their first two will not be disappointed in the
least as lead singer and songwriter Pete Ciccone has come up with 14 more
hook-filled nuggets that will insinuate their way into your brain and
have you singin' along before you even realize it. Although, as on their
previous releases, there's nothing on here that I don't like a whole lot,
some favorites, this time around, include "All The Same", "Jennifer
Smiled", "Let It Go', "Please Please" and "Another Day" - any of which
would make a perfect single. One other thing that I notice about this
album is that Pete seems to be becoming more of a singer, putting more
feeling into his vocals than before - always a good thing. If you're
already familiar with this fine band I'm sure you need no further inducement
from me to go out and get this but, if you've never heard these guys
before but but are a fan of bands like All or Green Day, you'll want to
check this out.
(598 Victoria C.P. 36587, St. Lambert, Quebec, J4P 3S8, CANADA) - (The
Platterpuss)


VARIOUS ARTISTS - Back From The Grave Vol. 8 (Crypt)

To 60s garage music fans, the release of another Back From The Grave
compilation is always cause for celebration. It's been around 5 years
since Vol. 7 but now that it's finally here, the wait was very well worth
it. This 2-LP set features 36 mind-blowin' tracks that are all so f***in'
incredible that I just don't know where to start. I've been listening to
this almost non-stop since I got it and there's not one track on here that's
not top notch. If you're a fan of wild vintage garage sounds or many of
the newer garage bands on labels like Estrus, Norton, Screaming Apple and
Get Hip, you absolutely, without a doubt NEED this. - (The Platterpuss)


VARIOUS ARTISTS - Cattle Call: Early Cowboy Music and It's Roots (Rounder)

When people talk about country music, what do they usually mean?
Depends on who's doing the talking, I suppose, but the vast majority
will be talking about the stuff that is pumping out of at least five
channels on your radio dial right this minute. My personal opinion is
that most of that stuff is crap. Sue me. On the other hand, there is
some great country music to be heard. Bluegrass, folk and original
cowboy music can all be considered country. Rounder Records has been a
library of great music for twenty five years, documenting some of the
most important music in those genres and a few others. (They have also
preserved some of the best blues ever recorded.)

"Cattle Call" is a collection of historic recordings of very important
cowboy songs by, among others, Tex Owens, Patsy Montana, Powder River
Jack & Kitty Lee, Tex Ritter (yes, John's dad) and The Sons Of The
Pioneers, who were the kings of cowboy harmony. (Roy Rogers was a
member of that particular group, using his real name, Leonard Slye!)

This is more than just country yodeling. This is authentic ranch music,
much of it recorded by people who walked the walk every day. The 14-song
CD covers a broad time span, from Carl T. Sprague's 1925 recording of
"When The Work's All Done This Fall" to Trio Los Panchos' 1960 classic
"La Cucaracha/La Adelita." One of the coolest things about a good cowboy
song is that it usually tells a whole story. Some are just about the
daily life and hardships of a cowboy, some are about starcrossed lovers.
One, "Tying A Knot In The Devil's Tail," by Powder River Jack & Kitty
Lee, is about two cowboys getting shit-faced and meeting the devil on
the trail. The devil has come for their souls, but the boys have other
ideas. They rope and hogtie the devil and then tie knots in his tail
and leave him on the trail for others to see and laugh at. Good story.
This CD is filled with good stories. The best news is that this is
just the first in a four CD series that covers everything from the
earliest era of cowboy music to the 1960s, a time when Disney helped
make the form very popular again. If you like your music to be
authentic, and you think Travis Tritt is full of corporate hot air,
this might be a good pickup for your collection. Diversify, fer cryin'
out loud! - (DJ Johnson)


VARIOUS ARTISTS -- Saturday Morning Cartoons' Greatest Hits (MCA)

As a kid, Saturday mornings were always the best. You didn't have to go
to school, but you'd always get up early so you could watch cartoons.
Now, MCA has released a "best of" collection of those great cartoon theme
songs - performed by some of today's hottest "alternative" artists.

Not content to just release 30-second snippets of the songs as you remember
them, producer Ralph Sall had the difficult job of expanding the tunes into
full-fledged songs for the CD. Sall (who has produced artists ranging from
Jane's Addiction to the Eagles' tribute CD, "Common Thread") also personally
matched each of the themes with their respective performers.

Sall gathered 22 of today's hottest alternative artists to perform on the
19 tracks on the CD. Liz Phair teams up with Material Issue on a great
version of "The Tra La La Song". Juliana Hatfield and Tanya Donnelly
contribute their version of "Josie and the Pussycats". The Ramones take on
the theme from "Spider-Man" (newly recorded for this CD). One of the best
song/artist pairings is Frente's take on "Open Up Your Heart and Let the
Sun Shine In". You'll swear you're listening to Pebbles & Bamm-Bamm all
over again.

These are just a few of the classic cartoon theme songs featured on Saturday
Morning Cartoons' Greatest Hits. If you're one of the millions that grew up
watching these shows, don't miss this great CD. - (Steve Marshall)


CLAYTON WATSON & HIS SILHOUETTES - Vol. 2 EP (Hillsdale)

Whatcha got here are 4 slabs of journeyman Rock & Roll, recorded in
1959 but unreleased until now, the kind of thing that lots of bands were
crankin' out in countless dance halls and sock hops all across the country.
While none of these tracks may be particularly innovative or original,
they nevertheless beautifully capture that carefree, let's-have-fun
attitude that's so sorely missing in much of today's music. If you dig
bands like The Neanderthals, The Trashwomen or The A-Bones, you're sure
to go for this.
(PO Box 641592, San Francisco CA 94164) - (The Platterpuss)


NEIL YOUNG -- Old Ways (Mobile Fidelity)

When audiophile label Mobile Fidelity Sound Labs releases something on
vinyl and/or CD, it's generally one of the artist's better (or at least
more well known) titles. Instead of releasing one of Neil Young's more
popular albums, like "Harvest", "After the Gold Rush", or "Freedom",
they decided to release his country album from 1985, "Old Ways". Long
out of print on vinyl, and previously only available in the US as an
import CD, MFSL's Anadisq 200 version of "Old Ways" sounds great.

"Old Ways" starts off with a cover (a rare occasion in itself for Young)
of the 60's pop classic, "The Wayward Wind". The orchestration on the track
is lush and warm. "Get Back to the Country" (one of five songs with Waylon
Jennings guesting on vocals) is one of the most cheerful songs Neil has
written. You can almost hear him grinning as he's singing this one. The
piano on "Once an Angel" sounds clear and natural.

Sonically, one of the highlights on the album is the closing track on side
one, "Misfits". Featuring the same string section used on "The Wayward
Wind", the dynamic range on "Misfits" is superb. The upright bass is deep
and resonant, never muddy at all. The percussion instruments used on the
track are all clear and distinct.

One of the most touching songs on the album is "My Boy", dedicated to
Young's first son, Zeke. Neil played the song on banjo on his 1983 acoustic
tour, prior to the album's release. The album's version features a full
band arrangement.

MFSL's packaging on the Anadisq 200 version of "Old Ways" is top-notch.
The sheer mass of the album & cover is impressive in itself. Pressed on
200 grams of virgin vinyl, "Old Ways" sounds and looks great. It may not
be "After the Goldrush", but Mobile Fidelity did a fine job on this one.
If they decide to release other titles from Young's vast catalog, fans are
going to be in for a real treat. - (Steve Marshall)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

B E T W E E N Z E R O & O N E

DAMNED ASSHOLE POLITICIANS STRIKE AGAIN (Indecent Headline)
By Steven Leith

The market abounds in products to screen adult information. The cyberporn
scare of the summer has been shown to be just media hype. Public opposition
to the draconian attempts to stifle cyberspace far outweigh the hand
wringing pleas that government control the evil Net.

All this and yet the movement to shove electronic decency laws down our
throats continues. Given all this I must conclude that there is an agenda
that goes beyond the stated aims of protecting our morals.

Before you can appreciate the forces at work in the decency provisions of
the Telecommunications Reform Bill you must look to history. The printing
press was not universally accepted by the kings, queens and popes of Europe.
Communication, whether speech or press, must be controlled by the state for
the simple reason that opinion matters, even in dictatorships.

The few can not long enslave the many without consent. What we call the
Western Democracies have a long history of controlling the press, burning
books and scattering crowds that were peaceably assembled.

Communication is a danger to any government, especially one that (in theory)
governs only at the consent of the governed. The press in this country has
fought many battles to remain free from government control, but now the
Corporate Press has more or less become part of the State.

The battles between the governing elite and the press have receded into
history. There really is little danger now that the Corporate Press will
frame political debate in terms unacceptable to the government. Enter
Cyberspace.

The possibility that communication can occur without the filter of acceptably
framed debate has a chilling effect on politicians. Cyberspace offers a soap
box for radical ideas and questions. Calls for action can mobilize millions.
This is scary stuff.

Politicians are still reeling from the advent of the Fax machine. Now they
must confront a technology that is very destabilizing to the State.
Unrestrained communication in an individual to individual format eliminates
the ability to filter truth through the prism of politics. If it is hard to
manufacture consent, it may be impossible to govern.

Things were going pretty good as far as the World's governments were
concerned. Mass communications had seemed to grow, while in fact all the
world's media was owned by less than 100 companies. Then pow, all bets were
off.

Politicians are not stupid. But even if they were as dumb as they pretend,
they would know enough to defend themselves and the institutions that nourish
them. The most disturbing thing to the political elite is that those using
the Internet and online services are also an elite.

Netizens are the very people who must agree to be governed. If their
communications can not be manipulated by slick publications and T.V. sound
bites, where will the money and votes come from?

Politics is magic. Not that it is mysterious, rather it is sleight of hand.
You are always directed to look at something while the real trick is being
done out of sight. That is what the electronic decency provisions are about.

The provisions are a successful attempt to frame the debate around the issue
of protecting children. In that way we only hash and rehash whether the Net
is a danger to children instead of asking the real question. "Should
communication be free in a free society?"

Read the First Amendment and ask yourself does it merely protect the
technology of the printing press or the idea of free communication.

Amendment I
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or
prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of
speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to
assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

The House and Senate have already decided that it is not in their best
interest to extend the definition of press and speech into cyberspace.
Very little that can be said or done will change their headlong rush to
remove free speech protections for electronic communications.

It is not in the State's interest to hand citizens the tools needed to limit
governmental power. When the Telecom Bill becomes law the right of electronic
free speech and free press will be lost because politicians will have
designated Cyberspace communication as neither speech nor press. Their real
victory is an Orwellian reversal of common sense. Black is White. Ignorance
is knowledge. An E-zine is not the press.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

WHY I COULDN'T KICK THE HABIT
By DJ Johnson

- Attention haters of sports! You may hate this column even more. -

Baseball is as baseball does. Gumpified truth that cannot be denied. In
a world where the average over-the-hill designated hitter makes approximately
forty times the annual salary of the average school teacher, our brains begin
to hurt. How the hell can we justify something like that? Does the DH
offer anything of importance to the growth of my children? Nope. Nada.
But then again, my kids' teachers couldn't do jack shit with a Randy Johnson
slider, either. Hold on a second...mmmmm...there it is...that first juicy
rationalization of the day. But pace yourselves, please. We're talking
baseball here, so the rationalizations have only just begun.

The strike just about killed my love of the game, and that's no easy trick,
because baseball has always been a religion with me. Since the first time
I saw Pete Rose spike a helpless second basemen guilty only of trying to
turn a double play, baseball has been my one true sport of choice. Yeah,
I watched football, and I threw a few March Madness parties, but I was
THINKING of baseball. Until the strike. Then I forced myself to watch
English soccer...for about five minutes. I tried getting into motocross.
Desperate, I turned to Sumo Wrestling. Not personally...I mean with the
remote control. There's a simple honesty to Sumo Wrestling. There aren't
any fake managers screaming into microphones, no unruly fans throwing bike
chains or betting on which bad actor is scripted to win, and no pre-season
holdouts! That's a biggy. Sumo Wrestlers are damned happy to be doing
what they are doing because, let's face it, it's not like they can quit
and get jobs as jockeys. There is honor in Sumo. There is no honor in
baseball.

As the strike dragged on, I became angrier. I was mad at the players for
acting like they were slaves when they made more in 6 months than I've made
in my entire life. I was mad at the owners...well...for a zillion good
reasons, not the least of which was the fact that they staged a revolution,
ousted the commisioner and then made one of their OWN the acting commish,
guaranteeing a lack of good faith in the negotiating process. These people
behaved so badly it's a wonder they aren't all presidential candidates.

So why did I develop amnesia soon after the strike ended? Why did I scream
and yell for my home team (The Mariners! Eat yer hearts out, Yankee fans!)
when I had been grumbling some unintelligble tripe about how we fans should
strike just a few weeks previously? And why didn't I catch myself in the act
and just turn off the TV? Well...because the unthinkable happened. My
Mariners became winners. DAMN them!

It's NOT my fault! We've never had a winning baseball team in Seattle, and
I just couldn't miss out on that. And that 82 win 80 loss season doesn't
count. I mean WINNING team. The folks in Seattle became foaming-at-the-mouth
M's fans. One of my closest friends, a woman who used to laugh at me for so
much as caring about baseball, called me up at the end of game 5 of the
Yankee series (eat your HEARTS out, Yankee fans!!) screaming "GOD, that was a
great game!!" Of course, she immediately mispronounced "Tino," "Buhner" and
even "Griffey," but I forgive the little wagon-jumper. Hell, everyone was
getting in on it.

It couldn't last, of course. Our incredible season came to a halt as the
Cleveland Indians' fresher arms out-pitched our guys, who had been through
hell in the previous two weeks. Still, the scene inside the Kingdome lasted
for hours, the fans refusing to leave until the boys came out for a curtain
call. We didn't mind at all that they had lost. What a high this city
was on. We were worshipping at the altar.

That couldn't last, either. The M's front office has spent this preseason
totally dismantling the greatest team we've ever had. Gone are 7 of the
25 players, including Tino Martinez (traded to the Yankees...Cry your EYES
out, M's fans!), traded away for a really bad pitcher and an untested 3rd
baseman. Gone are Bill Risley and Jeff Nelson, possibly the two best setup
pitchers in the AL. Gone is Mike Blowers, which means the team saves not
only his salary but the extra cost of cleaning up the puddles of tobacco
juice around 3rd base. What do we get in return for all this? Hint: It
is available plain or WITH lubricant. One other thing to note -- not one
of these moves was made or even hinted at until after the city of Seattle
made arrangements to build a brand new ballpark for the Mariners. The
ownership had behaved like extortionists. They had gotten their way through
threats of moving the team to sunny Tampa, Florida. Are we surprised here
in the great Northwest? Nooooo. There hasn't been a potential superstar
yet that the M's office couldn't give away and get zippity squat for. Will
this be the final straw for me? Noooooo. Baseball was once my religion.
Now it's pretty much been reduced to a dysfunctional relationship I can't
seem to get out of.

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the code of behavior
---------------------

the trees and bushes
steal sun and shadow
from one another
and
step on your toes trip you trip you
till you fall
into the narrow patch
of the meadow of slumber
... you HEAR
the sheets
attached to branches and shoots
by clothes-pins
the sheets of music ...
silence
wakes you up
the guys under the tree
clean instruments
alright, you clap

- H.California
1991-05-05
everest@netcom.com (Wlodzimierz Holsztynski)



"The one thing sure about politics is that
what goes up comes down and what goes down
often comes up."

- Richard M. Nixon



Being a women is a terribly difficult task
since it consists principally in dealing
with men.

- Joesph Conrad



THE SAINT

Lord, what I have done is little-compared to
the sins of the world. I did not kill: I chose
blindness. Paralyzed, Embarrassed, I did not
aid the aged woman when she fell. Instead I stood,
in the tower, a righteous sentry watching a rape
below city lamps. He freed her to go to you...
Don't make me take the road to hell (these clean
hands held the beads a thousand times). I was so
benevolent to all people, my saviour: I never did
criticize, hurt or offend. A model of correctness,
I remained silent. I would prepare myself to
receive you in your holy home- every sunday, second
pew on my knees before you then. Invocations talked
me through the days pleading to Cajetan and now to
Michael, your servants, as I am - was - in a life
devoted. A powerful spirituality, all I acquired
from my parents. My children served the altar as I
made my offerings to church, charity, and bum. I
shared that in honour of you. Yes, I was always true
to you. My morality balanced on faith; my doubts only
made me stronger. Now I wait at your gates, looking
back on my life- in your impartial light god, though
I occasionally strolled in those darker woods, I went
it straight. I have walked the road to hell (there
were so many important things to do). Ignatius, guard
me now from what I have done but let it all be mine for
I am not yet finished

- Sarah K Jordan
sarahj@trib.com



"A drug is neither moral nor immoral-it's a
chemical compound. The compound itself is
not a menace to society until a human being
treats it as if consumption bestowed a
temporary license to act like an asshole.

- Frank Zappa



When you're told not to put raisins up your
nose, it's hard to think about anything else.

- Cynthia Copeland



Lionel The Lycanthrope
(or The Trials and Tribulations of the
Modern Day Werewolf)

Lionel was a werewolf
So when the moon was bright
He would go up to the rooftop
And howl into the night

He would chase the local residents
You should have seen them scream and run
But he would not have hurt them
Lionel was vegan

He would prowl along the streets at night
Followed by his pack
Two pooodles, one chihuahua,
and a dachshund known as Jack

He would roam about the neighbourhood
Desperate for a pee
(When you're an inner city lupine
It's hard to find a tree)

He passed the church where he was banned
Not because he was bad or rotten
But because when the vicar came to tea
He had tried to sniff his bottom

One dawn the police picked Lionel up
Wearing not a stitch
It didn't help when Lionel said
He'd been hunting down a bitch

The policemen took young Lionel home
They found his house without much stress
For on a chain around Lionel's neck
Hung a disk with his address

"We have to tell your mum", a policeman said
In a voice so dark and final
As the car pulled up by a garden gate
With a sign - "Beware of Lionel"

When Lionel's mother opened the door
She knew why the police were there
"Go into the living room, Lionel,
And don't sit on the chair!"

"This can't go on", the policeman said
"He's frightened half the town
If you can't teach him to behave
He'll have to be put down"

Ma wondered how to help her son
But she soon solved the puzzle
Lionel still prowls the streets at night
But now he wears a muzzle

- Tim Patterson
tim@viper.LPL.Arizona.Edu



"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and
won't change the subject."

- Sir Winston Churchill


"Churchill is the very type of a corrupt
journalist. There is not a worse prostitute
in politics. He himself has written that
it's unimaginable what can be done in war
with the help of lies. He's an utterly amoral
repulsive creature. I'm convinced that he
has his place of refuge ready beyond the
Atlantic. He obviously won't seek sanctuary
in Canada. In Canada he'd be beaten up. He'll
go to his friends the Yankees. As soon as this
damnable winter is over, we'll remedy all that."

- Adolf Hitler


"If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least
a favourable reference to the devil in the
House of Commons.

- Sir Winston Churchill



Freedom

Free is the sun to be turning among red gold and yellow
'round the burning black head cold of time.
Stringtied the fingers of thought feel past faces pass
beyond the reach of their grip and climb,
we've gone fading, out into the dark of the aftershade
unaware of everything that moves and grows
up against the dullness of the entropy of mass.

Free the horses of life on the planes of an empty world,
but locked in within a fence of barbed wire,
only pride remains to take them up against their maker.
But we will break them till they expire
of pride stronger than their urge to live apeaced
or lose the freedom of their death
in giving up their fire souls before their breaker.

Free the prince of mind to bear his own weight
pulling at the hairs, of the lord almighty,
'cause he shapes only with a mud-stained touch
and sticks the words upon our covers slyly
built creatures we can tell not why they move
as we can hardly move each other,

though sometimes we can freely love this much.

'To know and love one other human being is the root of all wisdom',
is the all too humanitarian side of 'Evelyn Waugh', or perhaps he
meant himself, the old schizo. He nevertheless left open the much
more important question of what grows from that root.

- Corto
pike@luna.nl

"What is objectionable, what is dangerous, about
extremists is not that they are extreme, but that
they are intolerant. The evil is not what they
say about their cause, but what they say about
their opponents."

- Robert Kennedy


"Do we really want to know HOW Michael Jackson
makes his music? NO. We want to understand why
he needs the bones of the Elephant Man-and,
until he tells us, it doesn't make too much
difference whether or not he really is 'bad.'"

- Frank Zappa

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

E-MAIL ADDRESSES FOR CONTACTING COSMIK DEBRIS' WRITERS


DJ Johnson (Editor)......moonbaby@serv.net
Cai Campbell.............vex@serv.net
James Andrews............jimndrws@serv.net
Louise Johnson...........aquaria@serv.net
coLeSLAw.................coleslaw@greatgig.com
Scott Wedel..............syzygy@cyberspace.com
Andrew Ian Feinberg......afeinber@panix.com
Steven Leith.............leith@serv.net
Steve Marshall...........MHND71F@prodigy.com
David Fenigsohn..........a-davef@microsoft.com
The Platterpuss..........Plattrpuss@aol.com

DEBRIS FIELD POETS -

"The Code Of Behavior," by H. California......everest@netcom.com

"The Saint," by Sarah K. Jordan...............sarahj@trib.com

"Lionel The Lycanthrope," by Tim Patterson....tim@viper.LPL.Arizona.Edu

"Freedom," by Corto...........................pike@luna.nl


Cosmik Debris' WWW site..http://www.greatgig.com/cosmikdebris
Subscription requests....moonbaby@serv.net
Cai Campbell's BBS (Great Gig In The Sky)..206-935-8486

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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