BAH Issue 06

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

BAH

 · 25 Apr 2019

  

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                           BAH - Issue #006 
    ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ 
    ³ Title: Getting on the News (and in newspapers)    Author: Stone   ³ 
    ³ Date: 05-31-95                                                    ³ 
    ³                             *BAH*                                 ³ 
    ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ 

  All text included in BAH issues is for educational purposes only. In no 
  way do we at BAH endorse whatever actions described in our text files. If 
  you get an FCC fine of $500 because of on-air profanity after reading this, 
  don't come crying to us. 
                                                [BAH] 

 
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So, are you bored? Tired of being nobody? Great! Get on the news, do 
something cool, and hope somebody cool is watching. 

Now, getting on the news isn't as hard as previously thought. Here are some 
methods: 

* Follow interesting-looking people, people with guns, people with drugs, 
or known drug dealers. That's bound to be on the news, if they have some 
run-in with the police. 

* Follow newsvans around. Just follow until they stop, get out, and start 
shooting, then walk around and moon the camera, make obscene symbols, etc. 
Shout "FUCK 'EM ALL!" at the site of an arson or something. 

* Follow police around. Wait until an interesting case develops, and wait 
for the newsvans. 

 

Don't have a car, you say? There's still ways you can get famous. 

 
* Call the news yourself and tell them there's a huge bombing. Do it 
several times, with several different people or voices. They'll send 
someone out. When they come out and see no bomb, walk up to the people and 
explain that there's someone dying inside. Sometimes, they'll follow you, 
and start shooting in the progress. Get on camera! 

Or: 

* Blow something up yourself! Call the news, and tell them there's a bomb! 
You really don't have to, since they'll probably hear of it anyway, but 
still, you'll get to the phone faster. 

* Do other illegal things! Get a police walkie-talkie and start making up 
things! So what if they trace you? :) Start talking, "uhh yeah this is 
c-41, a huge fucking bomb just went off here. requesting backup." Any 
decent news station or paper has a police scanner and someone hired to sit 
and listen for interesting things. 

Well, that's about it for today. Look for more BAHfiles soon! 

stone 
(Fuck, we need more writers.) 

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