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Milk_Issue_55
Ü Ü Ü Mighty Issue #55
Ü Ü Û Û Ü illicit "Silly Pathetic Adventures (of) Malakai"
Û ß Û Û Û ÛÛ Liquid -By Malakai
ß ß ß ß ß ß Kollections
Ä Ä -ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
The sky was a bright blue on this great Wednesday morning. The sun
was shinning, the sky was clear of clouds, and I was ready to wake up and go
outside for, well, to go outside anyway. I decided it'd be a really nifty
idea to take a walk over to my friends' house in Round Lake Beach, about 2
miles away. Afterall, after my bike was melted in the sun last week, I
couldn't very well RIDE there.
I was going down a small hill and everything and was by the big ditch
by the bank, when all of a sudden, the ground became all pink and smooshy. I
was really freaked out by this, so I jumped, and slipped on the pink stuff,
which, when I fell down and tasted it, realized was Spam. I pulled myself up
and tried to stabalize myself on this new terrain and I saw this humanoid who
was made out of spam walking towards me. "Hello there, you look like you have
a problem," the walking spam said. "Yeah, I'm in a world of spam... now, how
am I going to get to my friends house?" I said, I was pretty mad, I mean,
things like this just screw up days, but that wasn't the worst of it. I think
I got spam juice on my magic cards. But the spaminoid spent a minute in
contemplation and said, "Maybe this is a paralell universe? You should go to
your friends' house and see," he smiled at his observation and I kicked him
in the head. "Fuck off, Spamhead." I said, and he fell to the ground.
This was the 1st time I ever got to kick a piece of spam, so I HAD to
try it. Don't worry, it's not habit forming, otherwise the Lord of the Spam
would have done something about it. So anyway, I continued walking, putting
deep marks in the spam, until I got to my friends house. On my way I noticed
that EVERYTHING was made out of spam, and I was REALLY starting to become
afraid, I mean, what do they eat? If they eat Spam I was surrounded by
Spamibals, and they may even eat ME. But I knocked on the house door, and my
hand flew right through the spam, and I realized, I am SUPER-strong to these
spam people, and super tough. I could do a lot of nifty things. But I ignored
this and walked inside the house, which looked JUST the same as it did in
reality, which was prehaps what this was.
The only problem was the people here were made of spam, though they
spoke in my friends' voices. So I became pissed off, don't ask me why, and I
picked up the TV made of spam and threw it at them, and it exploded in a
mess of spam. "Ha ha ha ha ha! You stupid PATHETIC LOAVES OF SPAM!" I yelled
at the smeared puddles of spam and spam juice which were once spaminoids.
I decided to make a phone call, maybe my Spaminoid self had a BBS up and
stuff too, maybe THAT was my key back? Maybe aardavarks AREN'T just for
Christmas?! But whatever it was I dialed ATDT 5464605 on my friends spam
computer, and attempted to logon as myself. I used the SAME password as I
did in reality, how convienent. I guess great minds think alike, but so did
ours at this moment. Everything was the same, so I decided to crash my own
system, so I shelled to dos, and typed FORMAT C: and hung up.
This did NOT work, and by now I was growing insane, so I decided to
do one thing before I gave up on getting back. I would go back to the field
and search for things that may have caused my transportance. I walked back,
and this time, around Burger King (which I was forced to wonder, do they use
Spam Cows for it?) a cop car drove up and two fat pieces of spam got out with
little things that looked like Spam guns. "Freeze, non-spam bag!" said one,
pointing his spam gun at me. Looks like I was in big trouble, so I started to
walk over there, but he shot. The spam splatted on my shirt, which was my
cool Beavis and Butthead shirt, and it would STAIN. So I was REALLY pissed.
I ran over there and punched them both, watching my hand come out the back.
Then I yanked up and my hand flew through the spam. I had to go to confess
at Spamfession DOUBLE time, I had committed some MAJOR sins here. But I then
tossed the dead Copspams into the Copspam car.
I then proceeded to go into the little valley between the roads and
then, like magic, I was whipped back into the real world. I proceeded to my
friends' house, where they graciously invited me in and told me the story
about a walking spam man who tried to pick up the TV and throw it at them
but couldn't, so he ran out and etc.. like I would believe that, sheah. But
later, when we were going to play magic, there was ONE problem. All my magic
cards were SPAM. <sigh> What a day, what a day.
Û Û [MiLK] Information
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Û Û [MiLK] Sites:
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Û Û The Obloid Sphere..........(708)965-3098 [14,400]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û The Asylum.................(908)914-9318 [14,400]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û Violent Playground.........(908)920-2575 [14,400]
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û Black Dragon BBS...........(703)885-3072 [14,400]
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÄÄ> MiLK File #55: "S.P.A.M." <ÄÄÄ
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