Phose Phree Inner Circle 011

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Phose Phree Inner Circle

 · 26 Apr 2019

  

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                               Presents 
                               So You Wanna Be Kewl 

 
        This file is dedicated to Nikki.  Call her up at 616-962-7438.  Ask for 
Nikki, and tell her you heard she gives great head. 

        So you wanna be kewl?  Well, there are several kinds of kewl.  There is: 

1) Stoner cool - This is for all the stoners (No Name, Scourge).  First, you 
        must know what a stoner does.  A stoner does not fuk every chick he 
        sees, and he does NOT sing "We Are the World" and hold hands.  To be 
        a good stoner, you must have a good supply of all the homemade recipes 
        (available at your local stoner board (29A)), if you don't have them, 
        you aren't Shit Outta Luck yet, you just gotta wait until I put all t 
        his stuff in a future issue.  Then, he has to do at LEAST all the 
        medium shit (hash, LSD).  He also has to have the Stoner's Guide to the 
        Galaxy (for only 19.95.  Dial 1-616-962-7438, and ask for a good stoner. 

2) Preppy Cool - This is for all the preps (Ground Zero).  A prep has to be 
        a total asshole.  For some reason, people look up to total assholes. 
        You also have to play basketball, and a sport every season with 
        absolutely no break.  You also have to walk like a hood, dress like 
        a wigga, and stick your tongue out and jump real high.  These people 
        are the "ELiTE" cool, the ultimate in Coolness. 

                You need our guide to being an elite.  Order "The Ultimate 
                Conformist Bastard" today! 
                1-616-962-7438.  (Boy, this guy has EVERYTHING!)  Tell them 
                you want to become an asshole. 

3) WaRezZZ KeWLNiZ - THiS iZ F0R aLL THe Pe0PLe WH0 WaNNa HaCK, F0uND oN 
        PR0DiGy aND oTHeR K-RaD PLaCeZ.  (Overkill)  THeY aLSo aRe eXpeRTz at 
        WaCKiNG oFF WiTH HouSeHoLD eQuiPMeNT, aND uSuaLLy aRe BaRNey FaNzzZ. 

                0rDeR "My LiTTLe Pee-Wee" T0Day! 
                FR0M ThE MaN wHoZe FaST WiTH THaT HaND, NiKKi! 
                aT - (6i6)-96TWo-743aTe 

4) Larvae cool - So You Wanna Be A Complete And Total Loser?  (Robert Gray) 
        Then this is for you!  How to be a complete and total lamer.  Cool 
        sayings range from "No Im not a fed." to "Me? A lamer?  Oh yeah? 
        What's PBX stand for?"  They are also notorious for hanging out on 
        800 Amiga BBSes (Psycho Labs ][) and pissing off sting boards who 
        are still looking for the LoD.  They are ALSO notorious for being 
        non-cool.  The only kind of cool where you really aren't cool, you 
        are just pretending to be cool so your "ph"riends will think you are 
        cool and let you on their cool boards which really aren't cool they 
        are just pretending to be cool and they even do real imaginative 
        things like reuuning one line off a screen and getting everyone pissed 
        as hell because they don't have a PgOver key... You want to be cool? 
        Call 1-616-962-7438 and tell Nick that you want to have access to the 
        "Hacker's Underground BBS".  Be sure to tell him you aren't a fed!!! 

 
        Now that you know the kinds of cool, you have to pick which one. 
        Personally, I'm hoping you'll pick either Stoner or Preppy, cause then 
        you get the great fucks.  Stoners get better fucks, preppies think they 
        are fucking and end up coming after the 1st 20 seconds... so preppy 
        girls think they aren't virgins but in reality they haven't even had 
        their cherries popped.  What the fuk do you expect?  Preps' dicks are 
        about 1" long... 

WANTED: Good fucks.  I live in Butt-fucking Egypt and there aren't any left. 

 
---- 

You wanna write for PPiC?  Get PPiC App from one of these great BBSes- 

29A 
616-781-1177 
!Home Base! 

The Crime Scene 
516-YoU-WiSH 
PPiC Distrib Site 

Ministry of Death 
516-askmel8rIforget 

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