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Lever 06
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The Atlanta Declaration: Every man, woman, and responsible child has a
natural, fundamental, and inalienable human, individual, civil, and
Constitutional right to obtain, own, and carry, openly or concealed,
any weapon -- handgun, shotgun, rifle, machinegun, \anything\ -- any
time, anywhere, without asking anyone's permission.
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L. NEIL SMITH'S \LEVER ACTION\ LETTER NUMBER 06b
== AN OPEN LETTER TO CERTAIN AMERICAN NEWSPAPER EDITORS ==
This is to inform you, in light of the editorials you've been running lately
in support of bans on semiautomatic weapons (not to mention the lies and
biased coverage with which you've always treated Second Amendment issues),
that I may begin asking my own tens of thousands of readers across the
country to circulate petitions to create a new law aimed at preventing such
heinous abuses of free speech in the future.
Among other things, the "Newspaper Control Act of 1990" will provide that
anyone involved in any way in the production or distribution of newspapers
will be required to register themselves with a special agency of the
government, purchase an expensive occupational license, undergo a detailed
and intrusive personal background examination, and perhaps even pass a
certified "newspaper safety and responsibility course". Newspapers are
dangerous things to leave lying around, after all. In the past, they've
started wars and gotten all kinds of people maimed and killed.
Under the Newspaper Control Act of 1990, each and every individual
newspaper printed will have to be stamped with an identifying serial number.
That's only to keep track of them, of course, and help get them back if
they're lost or stolen. Sure it'll drive the price of newspapers right
through the ceiling, but if it saves just one life ...
Whenever a newspaper is sold, its serial number will be recorded in a
bound book meeting certain official specifications, along with the name of
the purchaser, his address, driver's license number, age, race, and sex.
The public, after all, has a right to know who's reading all these newspapers!
Naturally, no one under 21 will be permitted to purchase a newspaper, nor
anyone convicted of a felony or with a past history of mental illness.
Of course it will be strictly forbidden to buy or sell newspapers by
mail or across state lines. That's probably nothing you can't live with,
especially if you aren't given any choice.
All retailers engaged in the sale of newspapers -- we won't define this;
if nobody knows precisely what it means, we'll get a lot more convictions --
will be at all times subject to warrantless searches by the authorities and
punitive closure for failure to comply with any feature (however vague and
contradictory) of the Newspaper Control Act of 1990.
Special postcard forms will be provided to all retailers so that anyone
purchasing more than one newspaper within a five-day period can be immediately
reported to the special government agency and his name placed in a permanent
registry.
After paying for a newspaper and filling out all the mandatory forms, the
purchaser will be required to wait 15 days before taking possession of his
newspaper while authorities investigate his background and determine whether
they want him to have a newspaper. Of course 15 day old news may not do him
much good, but what the hell, we're talking Public Safety here.
Above all, it will be simultaneously unlawful to carry a newspaper openly
(which we'll call "brandishing" or "creating a public disturbance") or
concealed on one's person in a pocket, briefcase, purse, or shopping bag.
Authorities will be empowered to "stop and frisk" anyone suspected of
violating this provision of the Newspaper Control Act of 1990.
\Please\, no undignified whining about the First Amendment! It's two
centuries obsolete, and was only meant to apply to the Government Printing
Office, anyway.
In fact, it may even be necessary for the government to buy up
newspapers -- there are way too many of the damned things -- and destroy them
at the expense of those paying a special 11% newspaper tax we'll manage to
sneak in somewhere. Hey, don't worry, this is only a temporary emergency
measure -- \for now\.
One thing's for certain: something has to be done -- and right away --
about these oversized Sunday editions. What legitimate use would any decent
citizen have for a newspaper with that many pages, anyway?
********
As a typical American newspaper editor, you should applaud proposals like
these. Every one of them is already in force, along with 20,000 similar laws,
against those whose enthusiasm for weapons was supposed to have been protected
absolutely all along by the Second Amendment to the United States
Constitution. The Second Amendment you're doing your damnedest to destroy
with the same kind of lies, spurious reasoning, and disregard for individual
rights and dignity you've seen here. That enthusiasm and the rights that
stand behind is, as we all saw recently in China, are no less vitally
important to the maintenance of American social democracy than yours for
free speech.
Think it can't happen to you? Then take a good hard look at the news
you're printing -- about library censorship, religious book burnings, and
death-threats against authors -- in your own newspaper. Exactly what makes
you think that your freedom under the Bill of Rights is any more secure
than anybody else's?
Toward Mutual Assured Destruction,
L. Neil Smith
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L. NEIL SMITH'S \LEVER ACTION\ LETTER NUMBER 06b
111 EAST DRAKE ROAD SUITE 7032
FORT COLLINS, COLORADO U.S.A. 80525
L. Neil Smith is the award-winning author of 16 novels including
\Henry Martyn, The Crystal Empire, BrightSuit MacBear, Taflak Lysandra,
The Probability Broach,\ and the forthcoming FORGE OF THE ELDERS
trilogy, beginning with CONTACT AND COMMUNE.
Your contributions to this effort, while extremely welcome, are not
tax-deductible.
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