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y0lk-077
.. horror story ..
.. by: one eared bunny ..
new, yet somewhat familiar. he was waiting for this moment all his
life. he was near the top, close enough to chew the gum on the bottom of
the _real_ executives' shoes. with this glory, came money, which mostly
went to his over-priced apartment, & which he really did not take a
liking to. his neighbors were noisy, the location was far from his work,
& the only reason he stayed was to keep his image, for this was the
living that contained the supposed elitists of society. as for the
apartment itself, it was quaint, dark, & dejected, to match the exterior,
as well as the city. despite the fact that he despised his apartment, he
often left out into the city, spending little time inside, so it bothered
him none.
for months he kept with the same rhythm, until winter. the city
became dull & cold, & not being able to keep from the effects to the
human body, he became very ill. he was missing work, almost to the point
where he would loose his job. this also meant he couldn't get out of his
apartment. sleep was minimal, for his neighbors kept their routines,
making, what seemed to him, as much noise as they were capable of. this
went on for a week, until he was fed up, more with the apartment above him
than anyone or anywhere else. it almost sounded as if they were remodeling
it. he could do one of two things; go ask the supervisor what was going on,
or go up to the floor above & see for himself, like a man. well, he of
course went to go get an employee.
"morning sir, what can i do for you?" you could tell he was new,
perhaps today his first day on the job.
"i have a complaint about the apartment above me. they seem to be
making large amounts of noise, which prevent me from getting any sleep."
his voice was course from the work of the flu residing inside him.
"what apartment do you live in sir?"
"floor three, apartment seven."
"that would be apartment four-seven that you're complaining about
then?" he nodded, with a slight cough, more as if he was clearing his
throat. the employee flips through a booklet of what was obviously a list
of people living within, "sorry sir, nobody lives in apartment four-seven
at this current moment, should i have someone go check out the rest of the
floor for you?"
"are they remodeling it by any chance?"
he flips through a few more pages, "sorry. sure you don't want
anyone to check it out?"
"thanks, but that's quite all right. maybe it's just this flu
getting to me," trying to make a joke out it.
"no problem, if you need anything else, just call."
since he was out of his apartment, he took it upon himself to go
look, even though he needed to go lay down, for the dreadful disease he had
was keeping up to worthiness, making him weak. perhaps he should have had
someone else check it out.
he had made it, & the noise was louder than ever up here, it seemed
odd that nobody else would report it, assuming they too, were hearing it.
perhaps he was going mad, becoming an insane freak from staying in day after
day. the stress was getting to him, he had to get this over with & get
back to his apartment to rest. he knocked on the door, it opened a bit for
it had not been closed all the way in the first place. he peaked in, seeing
no one. however, something did catch his eye.
the light was very bright, he had to squint to see the surroundings
of the apartment. papers, what seemed to be clothing, & rotten, what he
hoped was, food, were all about. it was a regular mess. at risk of
violating apartment policy, he went to get help again, he did not want to
intrude on whoever's party was going on. he again went downstairs.
"hello again sir." the employee was almost too cheerful.
"on second thought, can you have someone check that apartment out for
me?"
"sure. by the way, you are aware that you can call down here, no
need to walk this far in your condition."
he wanted to hit him, & show him what condition he was in. instead,
trying to sound least sarcastic as possible, "thanks for the reminder."
"well, i'm not busy right now, i could go check it for you?"
"if you mind, may i accompany you?"
"not at all, be my guest."
they both headed towards the fourth floor. when him & the employee
approached, it was quiet. they both entered the apartment, the empty
apartment. nothing, nobody was there. indeed, he was going mad.
"sorry sir, nothings here, perhaps you should go lay down for
awhile."
he felt as if the he was receiving an i told you so. either way,
"perhaps you're right, i need some sleep."
"very well sir. need help getting to your apartment?"
as nice as the employee was being, or attempting to be, he couldn't
stand the service, he wanted to be left alone, especially now. "no thanks,
i am going to sit for a minute."
"all right sir, well i must get back to my post, hope you get well."
he sat down on the uncomfortable couch waiting on his breath to come
back. while doing so, the noise returned. there was no way he could sit
now. he got up & took a look, he remembered the door being locked, but as
before, the door wasn't even closed all the way. the apartment had return
to it's previous condition, more in the middle of the process. items were
being tossed from where the light was being emitted, & landing in about
the same place he remembered seeing them.
he was going to get to the bottom of this. he entered the bright,
messy room, the wall was missing, it was either an oversized lamp or a
portal of some sort. he walked up to the light, staring it down. he was
dripping with sweat, his bones were shaking, & the fear in his eyes was
beyond evident. he stepped through against all sensible thought, &
everything disappeared.
no phear.
he finished up, with an affirmative nod, "very good jenson, but do
you really think it'll fit on a t-shirt?"
--(index)-------------------------------------------------------------------
.d&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&b.
$ ## $ title $ author $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ 01 $ the other white meat $ creed $
$ 02 $ several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin $ creed $
$ 03 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. $ creed $
$ 04 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin $ creed $
$ 05 $ household uses for afghanistanian food $ creed $
$ 06 $ pour cement down my anus $ hooch $
$ 07 $ hail santa! $ creed $
$ 08 $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? $ hooch $
$ 09 $ lunchables rock. $ creed $
$ 10 $ t-shirts and toejam $ bedlam $
$ 11 $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview $ hooch $
$ 12 $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta] $ hooch $
$ 13 $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ $ hooch $
$ 14 $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink $ phorce $
$ 15 $ bedazzled by the eliteness $ creed $
$ 16 $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina $ creed $
$ 17 $ i am a warez pup - who are you? $ hooch $
$ 18 $ lemmings $ phorce $
$ 19 $ the science of astrology $ belial $
$ 20 $ the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene $ cd/h0 $
$ 21 $ dUcK 54uc3?!#$!? $ phorce $
$ 22 $ top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself $ creed $
$ 23 $ citrus fruits for sale $ phorce $
$ 24 $ group masturbation $ belial $
$ 25 $ ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs $ creed $
$ 26 $ catering for the warez eleet $ phorce $
$ 27 $ brief mental pause $ belial $
$ 28 $ the army day camp $ belial $
$ 29 $ the geek theory, hickies, and another long day $ creed $
$ 30 $ nets, zines, and that chick from wings $ hooch $
$ 31 $ mentos! the freedom giver! $ mercuri $
$ 32 $ ramblings of a poseur $ bedlam $
$ 33 $ sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan $ creed $
$ 34 $ fuck you - a note to all y'all on #zines $ hooch $
$ 35 $ apples, oranges, and pears $ phorce $
$ 36 $ the little cultist that couldn't $ creed $
$ 37 $ careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate $ creed $
$ 38 $ snowday $ phorce $
$ 39 $ creed is g0d $ creed $
$ 40 $ big hurt is ruler of the earth $ bighurt $
$ 41 $ dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue $ bighurt $
$ 42 $ bbs softwares/internet $ hooch $
$ 43 $ abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! $ creed $
$ 44 $ mogel's own very special personalized $1 y0lk issue $ phorce $
$ 45 $ your burro is no jackass! $ creed $
$ 46 $ rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars $ creed $
$ 47 $ outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers $ creed $
$ 48 $ Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off $ creed $
$ 49 $ 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life $ creed $
$ 50 $ the best of the worst $ creed $
$ 51 $ the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave $ trip $
$ 52 $ ode to my feet $ creed $
$ 53 $ hopelessly lost $ poots $
$ 54 $ the schoolhouse r0x!# $ phorce $
$ 55 $ campbell's chicken-noodle soup omen of death $ creed $
$ 56 $ dead cats $ juke $
$ 57 $ my inner taco $ handle $
$ 58 $ my place, or yours? $ mercuri $
$ 59 $ how to really use that spiffy monopoly money $ lumpy $
$ 60 $ struggle wif the giant pink elephant $ lucifer $
$ 61 $ why did the chicken cross the road? $ insane $
$ 62 $ y0lk test pattern $ mutter $
$ 63 $ ELiTE LiT from the master himself $ creed $
$ 64 $ creed's k-rad lit archives, volume two $ creed $
$ 65 $ UNSOPHISTICATED FASCIST BASTARDS. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME. $ creed $
$ 66 $ how y0lk saved my life (sorta) $ creed $
$ 67 $ shiny nickles, no more TP, and shitty knuckles $ ideal $
$ 68 $ some puppet plays $ phorce $
$ 69 $ "... Hello operator ..." $ mutter $
$ 70 $ i bit my nail, now my finger is bleeding. $ traq $
$ 71 $ battle of the ants $ rage $
$ 72 $ fun on the phone $ ideal $
$ 73 $ yabba-dabba do, scooby-dooby do, and many other mysteries..$ handle $
$ 74 $ i love you as my own mother $ sphrog $
$ 75 $ jamesy and the giant slinky $ jamesy $
$ 76 $ do not fuck with the big and hairy bears $ murmur $
$ 77 $ horror story $ oeb $
"T$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$T"
--[infoez]--------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk! beware!
mindcrime is an official y0lk member, cuz he's just so damn wacky-ass.
heil creed. <HEIL!# HEIL!#>
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /ftp/phorce/y0lk
or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373. k-rad.
*or*... look for "y0lkb0t" on irc, efnet. type "@y0lk (number)" for y0lks.
_OR_... ATTENTION y0lkies!# join the y0lk mailing list!# chat about y0lk
and all them other zines, too!# email listserv@magsystems.com with the line
"subscribe y0lk" in the body of the message.
don't you feel like you're getting a little too much information here?
couldn't we just show our ftp site and shut up? it's just sad that we
have to advertise all our cheap media at the bottom of every textfile
like this. what a bunch of losers we are.
