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Crank 001

eZine's profile picture
Published in 
Crank
 · 25 Apr 2019

  

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the
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newsletter

issue one - june 25th, 1996. i love you, crank.
a DTO production, i swear.

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hi, i'm black francis & this is my 'zine about crank & my love for
crank. i will release a new issue whenever i am feeling especially
depressed that crank is with some white bread chicken shit & not me. i am
the only one who can truely love her like she needs to be loved & one day
she will realize that.

i love you, crank.

- -- ---+ crank!

this is a picture i drew of me & crank (who i love).

___ ___
| | | |
|_| |_|
__|__ __|__
| + | = true love!
| |
/ \ / \
/ \ / \
crank moi

- -- ---+ crank!

i wrote this poem about crank, because i love her (a lot!). i hope
she likes it because if not i will kill myself.

*ahem.*

it's called, "crank".

"crank crank
you are not a skank
you are very pretty like a flower
& you have nice boobies
i'd like to touch them someday
i love you crank"

- -- ---+ crank!

crank used to date eightball & this guy called "turbo" & dead cheese
& aoxomoxoa but she's never dated me & one time she even went after mogel.
now she's dating murmur. i don't like murmur because he is an inbred
corn-huskin' motherfucker & he does not deserve crank's love. stupid hick.

i love you, crank.

- -- ---+ crank!

here is an ascii i drew for crank.

IIIIII LL OOOOOO VV VV EEEEEE YY YY OOOOOO UU UU !! !! !!
II LL OO OO VV VV EE YY YY OO OO UU UU !! !! !!
II LL OO OO VV VV EEEE YYYYYY OO OO UU UU !! !! !!
II LL OO OO VV VV EE YY OO OO UU UU
IIIIII LLLLLL OOOOOO VVV EEEEEE YY OOOOOO UUUUUU !! !! !!

- -- ---+ crank!

crank, please marry me or i will be forced to burn your house down.

i love you.

- -- ---+ crank!

here's another poem i wrote about crank. i love her.

this one's called "crank".

"alishia
you don't smell like fisha
you smell pretty like a flower
& i love you
so please love me back
& i will not kill your family
i love you
you are pretty."

- -- ---+ crank!

here is my picture of crank that i drew because i love her (A LOT!).

###########
## . . |#
## . |#
## *_* |# draw on my boobies!
## |# /
##____o__|#
_||_
|..|
| |
(|__|)
| |

i love you, crank. don't worry; no silly restraining order is going
to keep me from my true love (that's *YOU*)!

- -- ---+ crank!

here is another poem i wrote about crank one night when i was thinking
about her a lot, which could be any given night, 'cause i think about her
all the time. that is because i love her.

this one's called, "crank".

"crank
you are pretty & nice
i think about you when i masturbate
draw on my dick."

i love you, crank.

- -- ---+ crank!

ok, that's it for the first issue of the "i love crank" newsletter.
i hope you enjoyed it, crank, because i love you & everything i do is for
you & nobody else. i love you.

any similarities to persons alive or dead is intentional because i
love crank.

--- "i love crank" newsletter issue one ------------------------------------
[EOF]

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