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The Hogs of Entropy 0263
'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTACY PRESS RELEASE #263 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Pig Story" !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Nybar !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 11/3/98 !!
!!========================================================================!!
I said, "So, that's the only reason you are going out with me?!
Because I carry this... pig doll!?" and then I glared at the pretty little
doll of a pig. So cute it was. I hated it; it was a rival.
"Well, yes. Actually, I heard from a Joan Crawford movie that a
womans G-spot is indirectly exposed to gamma rays, and thus she is turned
on. But you see, they have to send the rays from cuba, which the CIA has
something to--"
"A stupid pig doll.." I cut in. <snip> "You do know never to trust
that vogue crap, right?"
"Well, the bay of pigs was..."
"A not-worth-the-glass-it's-blowed-out-of pig doll..." once again I
cut in.
"You sexist!"
"What? Howzzat?"
"Blowed out of!!?! Like we have to suck your penises to shape the
world!"
"I only have one penis. Anyway, there's this thing called glass
blowing..."
"I never want to see you again!"
"Hey, maybe YOU'RE an Uncle Tom! A reverse Peter Fonda so to
speak. You are obviously highly aroused by me carting around a pig carvin."
"Well, you're the one that tried to make Monica Lewinsky into
scandal rag fair the likes not seen since Marion Davies!"
"Howzzat?"
"Ok, you see, it's illeagal for the MAN to be lovelorn in movies
these days. So Citizen Kane is valued for it's kitsch. See, they are
trying to break off from it and be self-parodying, but they got lost along
the way. Understand?"
"Right, 'Rosebud', go on."
"Okay, so the women are always nymphs! But soon there will be a
backlash."
"Obviously, you are a genuis in these matters, which clearly
translates into everything else. Explain to me again why Neil Armstrong
saying 'One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind' was a
mistake?"
"Because he's a sexist pig that mocks athroprenticity."
"Well, it's true, there weren't any women on the moon... I think
what he meant to say was 'One small step for A man, etc.'"
"I don't think we should see each other anymore."
"Hahahaha, not much you can do about that sistah... you would have
to pluck your eyes out if I was determined."
"No, it's true. Some fat guy told me he can't be stalked because
no one could POSSIBLY break through his safety net, even though he does
nothing to hide himself."
"Hm, I think that's the author making an insult to a cer--"
"I mean, is that ridiculous or what? Anyway, he obviously isn't
sexist. He's fat. He probably goes on oprah. A support group at least."
"Alright, Heil Oprah! Oh yeah, I am offended by the word penis."
(the things I do..)
"I see you appreciate athroprenticity, which means we can continue
seeing each other."
"Alright, let's meet again here 2 hours from now."
"WAIT." Then she made a big show of taking out this huge daily
planner with lots of things like 'Pizza coming in 30 minutes' in it.
"Okay, I've got it down... where's here?" On second thought, she probably
needed the daily planner.
!!========================================================================!!
!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #263 - WRITTEN BY: NYBAR -- 11/3/98 !!
