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PRANKS, REVENGE, and GENERAL MAYHEM vol. 02
WARNING: This file is NOT for entertainment purposes. If I catch you reading
this file without using ANY of its info in life, I will pull a few
of them on YOU, so you will realize how much the can fuck somebody
up.
More Mayhem:
- Take the hinge pins out of a door at your school. Shut the door. Next time
someone goes to open it, FOOM! Down it goes.
- In your science lab, shut a door and set the dome of a Van de Graaf
generator against the doorknob. Turn it on and leave. Next sucker to use
that door get the ZAP of his fuckin' lifetime.
- Take a picture of your favorite goof. get a cheap black&white 8x10 blowup
made, and photocopy it. On the copy, under the picture, write GOOF in big
letters. Make 200 copies, and post them everywhere (best to get them
printed by a printing company if you make a whole shitload of copies).
Next time dickhead looks at a school bulletin board, his hair will stand
on end.
- Dump a vanload of garbage on your enemy's front lawn.
- Put a few dead fish in a school locker, and lock it. If the locker has
vents (and they all do!) then in a few days that entire WING of the school
will just fuckin' REEK!
- Spray "fart spray" (from your local trick & joke shop) EVERYWHERE.
- When you go on a date with a really ugly bitch (on a dare or whatever)
make sure to eat two dozen BRAN MUFFINS beforehand. Your farting will make
the ugly wench run for the hills!
- Better yet, do the farting thing whenever you are forced to go to church.
- You know that temporary spray paint kids put in their hair at Halloween?
Paint your neighbors' cat or dog with that stuff. I strongly recommend
flourescent pink, orange, and green.
- If you REALLY hate your neighbor or his pet, spray the animal with
PERMANENT paint. Same colours.
- Or, keep your neighbors' pet's hairstyle in fashion. Give his pet a Mohawk.
- If you work in an arcade and you think you may be fired soon, a good
way to get back is to paint contact explosive inside the coin drops of all
the machines.
- A variation of this technique for those who don't work in arcades is to
cover your quarters with contact explosive before inserting them in the
slot. As long as you don't play for more than 5 minutes or so you are
pretty much assured that it can't go off while you are playing, but once
it dries.......
- Put a few drops of Krazy Glue on the winding knob of your enemy's analog
watch. If he has a digital, seal the buttons and the back panel with Krazy
Glue.
- Break into that asshole's locker. Steal all his valuables and B U R N
his texts, notes, and library books. He will get in SO much shit.........
- You all saw MASH the movie. You know then about how Hot Lips and Maj.
Burns were caught going at it in her tent by a mike which broadcast the
event to the whole camp...Do that to someone you suspect is a fag. Only
broadcast it so everyone in TOWN can hear it.
- Your enemy's car carries too much dead weight in the form of batteries.
Replace that big unsightly battery with a 9 volt. This way only his radio
will work.
- Pour CONCENTRATED Hydrochloric acid all over your enemy's bike's chain,
derailleurs, etcetera. If, the next day, he still rides it, repeat until
the acid has turned the bike to DUST.
- Strip his expensive Cinelli of all those confusing hi-tech parts and
replace them with simple, economical parts from Canadian Tire or K Mart.
- Find a liquid high-explosive that does not react with water or gasoline.
Pour it into his Yamaha's tank. (NOTE If I catch anyone doin' this to a
Harley I will take great pleasure in slowly killing them)
- Paint a penis and balls onto the side of his car.
- Load the back of his truck with horse manure and cowpies.
- Raise locusts. Once you have about a hundred thousand or so of them, set
them free in your enemy's garden.
- Plant marijuana in your enemy's garden (but not at the same time that you
do the locust trick). Go to nearest pay-phone, and dutifully report him.
Make sure you remain anonymous.
- Rip off an outboard motor. Fasten it to a sharpened telephone pole and
aim it in the general direction of the milling boats at the yacht club.
(This prank came from National Lampoon magazine, July 1981. And it works.)
- Unplug the speakers of your school's Apples. All of them.
- Write your enemy's phone number on every men's room wall you see.
- Write to your local AIDS society, asking about ways to tell if you have
AIDS. Include a stamped envelope with your enemy's name and address on it.
- Take all the toilet paper in the men's room home with you. Get your
girlfriend to do the same to the ladies' room.
- Have your autodialer dial your enemy, for a few hours.
- Your enemy isn't going ANYWHERE.... If you have removed his car's wheels
and replaced them with wooden blocks. Leave him a note telling how much
stress you are saving him by not letting him go to work.
- Give your enemy's kid a whole bag of hard candies. When he gets home and
tells your enemy (his parents) all about that neat stranger that gave him
a whole bag of candy, your enemy will FREAK.
- Did you know that some people still freak out when you throw a foam rubber
brick at a window or TV screen? Get one at your local trick and joke shop
and get ready for a whole lotta laughs.
- Those emergency stop buttons on escalators really work! Try it sometime.
- Get your enemy drunk and give him a Mohawk while he is passed out.
- Put up a FOR SALE sign in front of your enemy's house. Or put one on his
car.
- People still fall for thumbtacks on chairs. Give that one a try too.
- Get a HARD CORE porno hi-res graphic on disk for a comodore. Take this
disk to a Zellers or Kmart or other big store that sells c0modores. Do
this during a big rush so the salesmen don't bug you. Load up the graphic,
but don't display it. Write a short BASIC program to display a text screen
or something for a few minutes or so, to give you time to GET OUT. After a
few minutes, the store's display machine should then go into graphic mode
and VOILA! Hi-res porno before a crowd of shocked shoppers and embarrased
salesmen.
Well, I hoped you liked these pranks too. Try to use as many of them as
possible and you will have the biggest grin on your block. That's all for
now. Watch for PRANKS III coming soonerthan soon.
T H E F I X E R
