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b l i s t e r s - o n - m y - b u t t
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issue 005 - "hoe conspiracy theory #1" by augustine goat rex
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contact: http://www.alt164.com/bomb or bomb@alt164.com
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Date: Sun, 11 Nov 1998 22:08:04 -0500
From: ziego vuantar <ziegovuantar@hotmail.com>
To: mogel <okay@dto.net>
Subject: monday night
Do you think that Stone Cold will win this week? I'm really
looking forward to Monday night's match. It should be
really good. Want to come over to my house to watch it?
Maybe we can play some scrabble when we're done; I hope
your mom doesn't make you come home early again.
Do you have off from school on Friday? My mom's taking me to
see the new Rugrats movie. Do you want to come???
bye, friend!!
-ziego
:::::!::@::!:::@:#!:@#:!@::!@::!$:#:#@:#$:@:::::::::!:::!:
Ladies and Gentlemen:
What we have here is the first in a series of investigative
files that I will present into the secret dealings of two
of the most prominent people in the zine HOE. In this first
installment, I present to you the above quoted email that shows
you, firsthand, information leading to the basis of my conspiracy
theory. HOE was never taken over by "revolutionary leader" Ziego
Vuantar. In fact, Ziego Vuantar is a close and personal friend
of Mogel's.
What this email shows us is that Ziego and Mogel "hang out" quite
frequently. They are avid wrestling fans; they are often found
imitating their favorite wrestling moves in Mogel's bedroom.
What is more disturbing is the fact that they have injured countless
mice while imitating their favorite wrestlers. This has to stop.
I have more proof that I will show in other files that will prove
that Ziego and Mogel have been friends for since they were in the
sixth grade. I have pictures and other electronic evidence that
will prove that the entire HOE "revolution" is merely a conspiracy
to get the reader to buy more HOE merchandise.
"What merchandise?"
Believe you me, I've got Mogel on tape talking about the new "multi-
million dollar online store" that he is starting. "Those suckers
are going to make us rich, Ziego! I'm so glad that we're so smart
and they're not! Ha ha! Ha ha!" Don't fall into the trap.
This email also proves that mogel is only 12. This is undeniable
through his love of of wrestling and the Rugrats television show is
clearly pointed out in this email.
I CHALLENGE MOGEL OR ZIEGO TO EMAIL ME AT rex@alt164.com TO DISPUTE
THESE ACCUSATIONS. THEY MAY TRY, BUT THE TRUTH WILL SEEK THEM OUT
IN THE END.
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(c) jesus was a wanker press, 1998, biznatch.
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